Thanks to Dylan of MindLoveMisery’s Menagerie‘a First Line Friday Prompt. The first line from last Friday was: “I’m going to tell you how I lost my inheritance.” For NaPoWriMo the prompt is to write a nocturne which is a poem/song about the night. For A to Z Challenge, today’s letter is O for a GoodRead’s quote.
“You don’t have to be dead to leave a legacy. — Onyi Anyado”
I’m going to tell how I lost my inheritance, how my legacy rides in tides as the full moon rises,
How the night stole my humanity and hammered my soul a blow.
The dusk covered the light, liquid tar blanket bestowed,
The sun hid himself away, way down in western wilds of woe.
A sinking feeling settled in and a certain chorus began to ring,
A range of notes, a rising crescendo of riveting lyrical prose.
A poet’s words possessing her, when she knows full well,
The powerful pull of the midnight hour.
And the pressing provocative lure as the moon glows,
A white orb that won’t warble, a strong luminious light,
Residing over all as every full moon does.
To be host over the howling wolves, the healthy youths as they prowl,
The dark delights of the night distend into the dimest parts of every soul.
A choir of banshees brazenly taking souls salaciously, the maids from their beds,
The hour of the demons drawing back to their victims with wet bloody lips;
The incubus raging and awaking the wild within their prey.
And all is a lure, an image not clear, all this is imagined,
All this is frightening, foretold in nightmares.
The affected awake in the morning from the pleasure and pain,
From satisfied appetites, appalling in the dank aptitudes of night.
Night swells and swallows herprey wholly, partaking and doping with her starry glow,
Inviting the worst from the wise, even ill from the innocent.
Yet a moral being cannot mean to say, night has had her way and ‘I’ had no say;
It’s easy to give in with ease, to isolate one’s self to enthralling entertainments, inscribed darkly now on souls.
And what’s done in the night when the moon is full and fat, cannot be told for it stays hidden on those nights, when the wildest ones escape.
The vampires and the wolves, the creatures we know not of, and humans do not stay humble ether — they choose to fly with the fallen.
A nocturne of night will tell you what power presumes to hide beneath an inky black veil,
It’s not pure evil, it’s the usual kind, who chooses to dance with the devil, and forget their choices their choosing for charm and wine.
For tequila and vodka, for him and her, and whisky burning down your throat as the howls of the night combine with a loss of memory;
And we all awake mid-afternoon, no one knowing the peculiarities of such a night, a full out frightening moon.
Only a feeling, a shiver, a prayer, as the moon fades from brilliance, she is trapped, unwillingingly held as she wanes us back into morality.
The light of the sun salutes from the east and all is forgiven in harmony and health, angelic nebulas, skys of blue birds, and Bambi deers galloping.
Woe is the wicked night on the full moon, but how much greater is the morn after malevolence is perpetually destroyed,
Yet oh, how we miss the fun of bliss in the dark — no thoughts, no reason, just acceptance to absorb the pleasures of night’s nocturnal nightmares.
Prompt: Of all the awful possibilities, what’s the worst possible thing that could happen to you today? Now, what about the best?
Don’t ask me what’s the worst of all the possibilities that could be today. It isn’t a good idea to tempt fate like that.
Don’t ask me all the horrible terrifying things that could happen to myself or my loved ones. Don’t wonder about things you never want to be. Don’t ask for the worst.
It maybe superstitious but you see, worrying about terrible happenings doesn’t help you get through the day. It doesn’t help anyone you love either.
Wondering about the terrible things that could happen, well it’s bad juju. It’s bad Karma. It’s whatever you’d like to call it. But it isn’t safe, and it isn’t worth the time or effort
The tears it inspires. The rage that could implode. The nightmares caused by this kind of thinking. No don’t think of the bad things in this world and imagine even worse.
What if the worse happened? Well you’d only blame yourself for thinking the thoughts you did that occurred. Is a thought worth a lifetime of misery? No, it isn’t.
Think of the good times you had in the past. The parties and meetings with friends and relatives.
Think of Christmas think of snow. Think of watching movies curled up on the coach. Think of your favourite things, as Julie Andrews once sang.
Thing of beautiful clothing made of silk and cashmere in a rainbow of colors. Think of jeans that fit perfectly. Think of a flat stomach.
Think of the endorphins you feel rushing through you after you’ve done 50 minutes on the treadmill or elliptical. Think of walking your dog as he bounds and leaps for joy in the snow.
Think of meeting the one you love the most. Think of weddings, the birth of a child, think of Birthdays and summer vacations at the fair. Eating cotton candy and going on frightening rides and through haunted houses.
Think of little girls dressed up as Princesses at Disneyland. Think of camping,hiking, and drinking beer. Think of drinking wine with friends by the fireplace.
Think of finishing all your work for once. Think of travelling and fantastic art work. The Cistine Chapel, Monet’s Water Lillies, Andy Warhole’s Soup Cans and print of Marilyn Monroe.
Think of Yoga poses that calm you and stretch out all your tired muscles. Think of how it smells after it rains and how clear the scent of air feels.
Think of summer nights walking in the night, with your guy or gal. Think of dancing until dawn. Think of conversations about trival and universal topics at 3:00 a.m.
Think of the place you grew up. The place you call home now. Think of your first pet. The cat that was morbidly obese on farm mice. Think of all your joys and all your trials and how good you felt after facing the latter.
Don’t think of all the terrible things that could be in this world. Think of better things. Be an optimist. Better yet drink the water, and live life to the fullest.
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times” – Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities
When was the last time this quote accurately described your life?
It’s hard to pinpoint exactly when this statement was true for me. There are a few times in my life when I could describe times as being both the best and worst but I believe the most recent time has been the last six years of my life as a whole.
These six years have been the worst of times because I have been battling with a depressive mood disorder and likely Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. The way these diseases have limited my life seem unbelievable to me. I had to give up driving because I cannot pay attention very well and do not have the reflexes I once did. Someday I hope I can just drive to the grocery store or Shoppers Drug Mart and back but that someday isn’t right now.
I use to be an extremely social person and was very close to my friends. Now I feel because of my disease that gap has widened. Partly because I can attend so few events. Night is a difficult time for me so I often can’t go out that late and transportation and money are always an issue because I often do not have money to take a cab both ways or to bus because of energy. I can bus one way in the day usually but I’m just less alert and more fatigued during the night.
Chronic fatigue has also made it impossible for me to exercise at a level where I can lose weight put on from medications and inactivity. I love exercise, I have for a very long time but my body wears out quickly even during 20 minutes of yoga and cardio usually just makes me sick to my stomach and completely wears me out for the rest of the day, especially lately. It is a symptom of CF Syndrome.
Another big issue is that I can usually only concentrate for a couple hours at a time and when I go out I use to be able to do about 4-5 hours but now 3 is all I can handle. Then I go home so exhausted I have to crawl into bed and just sleep for hours, sometimes days. I have malais, which means after a big activity I require often a day or two of recovery time.
Those are the worst of times for me but despite my illness there have been some good times as well. There have been vacations with my Mom and Dad and/or brother to Las Vegas, Anaheim, Phoenix, and Montreal. All of which, despite becoming exhausted by mid-afternoon I have enjoyed so much and have fought to rest up in time at night for dinner and shows.
I have found out who my real friends are because they are the one’s who have stuck by me through thick and through thin. They were there to visit me in the hospital when I was first sick and they are here now with a ride, to share some coffee or wine with, and to invite me out and hang out when we have the time in our busy lives. They understand I need time to rest and cannot make it to every event and they can tell when I have had enough when I’m out with them.
I met my boyfriend A through a dating website called Plenty of Fish. Our first date we went for coffee at the 2nd Cup and went to the movie 21 Jump Street downtown. He has been my guy since and despite the fact we fight and get really mad at each other at times we have been together over three years. At first I was too sick for the first three years of my illness to consider boyfriends but when the time came that I was interested in guys again, he was there.
I have become so much closer to my family both my parents and brothers, and my grandparents, godparents, and extended family. I have learnt that I can rely on them and that we can take care of each other. I have rediscovered religion and the place that has in my life. My illness began with a psychotic episode in which I was so afraid I was separated from God and experiencing Hell. So, I’m grateful to be able to say I truly believe in God and his son Jesus and have no desire to be a part from them but to share them with others who want that. I have learnt not to be so selfish but to talk to others whether they are strangers who just need a smile or friends who I have not seen in ages.
This is why the past 6 years have been the best years of my life. And I think If I’m truthful, the best of times would not be the best without having those bad times.