‘Rewind Interview’ of Blogger, Poet, Writer, & Author Rosema Gonzales #amwriting #interview #nonfiction


Welcome to almost September and a look back at some of past interviews in my ‘Rewind Interviews.’ On my own blog and on the Go Dog Go Cafe, a writer’s community! I anyone wants to be a regular member of the Cafe as a Barista once a week or even every two weeks, please let us know. Also, you can submit questions about this or your own writing to the Contact Page. 

I’m excited to share with you a ‘Rewind Interview‘ of my good friend, talented writer, wonderful person, and wise woman: Rosema Gonzales from the Philippines. You can explore her blog at the following link: A Reading Writer .


Rosema
Rosema Gonzales

1. Rosema, Please Share With Us Some Things About Yourself?

I am my blog’s nameA Reading Writer. I read and write and in-between, eat cake and/or drink coffee.

I currently work for a small Public Relations firm as a Public Relations Associate and also a Public Relations Writer. I have a degree in journalism and I dream of becoming a news writer someday; a bonafide journalist. Although, I feel this goal could be a bit impossible, realistically speaking, but who knows?

When I’m not working, I’m blogging and writing. My blog, A Reading Writer , is my fortress and it has changed my writing-self dramatically. I used to only write book reviews and thoughts on books I was reading (wanted to read). Now, I write both poetry and fiction. I never thought I could write poetry or fiction until I joined the WordPress courseWriting 101, last year. Writing 101 changed my perspective on my writing abilities.

When I’m not writing or blogging, I have a thirst for reading. Mitch Albom who is my favorite author. I love all the novels I have that Mitch Albom wrote, but it would take too long to name them all :D)

When I am not reading I am drinking a cuppa of dark coffee and wishing I could be eating cheesecake! 😀


2. When Did You First Start Writing and Blogging?

Technically, my first post was published on August 28, 2014, close to three-years-ago now. My first post was only the beginning of my ‘existence’ as a blogger. My ‘real’ more than existing as a blogger, began when I joined Writing 101 in September 2015. For me, this course offered by WordPress, somehow signaled the ‘rebirth’ of my A Reading Writer blog.


“My ‘real’ more than existing as a blogger, began when I joined Writing 101 in September 2015. For me, this course offered by WordPress, somehow signaled the ‘rebirth’ of my A Reading Writer blog.” – Rosema Gonzales


3. What Does Your Writing and Poetry Mean to You? Why Do You Write and Where Do You Find Your Inspiration and Motivation?

For me, writing is like breathing with wordsNo one can survive without breathing; that’s how vital writing and poetry arefor me. My motivation and inspiration can come from anywhere. I had a writing piece which was inspired by a garbage truck once. Seriously! But the majority of my poetry and fiction are written while I’m riding the bus. I think my brain churns more when I’m commuting. Reading and music alsoinspire and motivate me, and have recently given birth to some unpublished poems, too. 🙂


4. Do You Find There Is A Time of Day You Most Enjoy Writing?

Hmmm. As I said before, I usually write on a bus so it’s either early morning or at night when  I write. Although, I think there is something about the silence and darkness of night that inspiresmore creative pieces as compared to when it’s daytime.


“For me, writing is like breathing with words. No one can survive without breathing; that’s how vital writing and poetry are form me. My motivation and inspiration can come from anywhere.” – Rosema Gonzales


5. Do You Have Any Current Writing Projects or Any Hopeful Writing Projects?

If hosting a writing challenge is a project then, I would say my most recent project called:  Word-High July has been my focus#WordHighJuly featured thirty beautiful Filipino words as word prompts. Many poets and bloggers have written impeccable pieces inspired by these Filipino words such as halakhak, a noun which means loud uninhibited laughter, or kaulayai, a noun which means a pleasant and intimate companion. In terms of future projects, I’m dreaming of publishing my own poetry book in the future.


Note: Rosema has done just that and published her first book on Amazon.com, earlier in the summer. It’s called Between My Bleeding Lines by R.C. Gonzales and is available as a Kindle ebook and in Paperback!


Between These Bleeding Lines 

by

R.C Gonzales

*****

Between My Bleeding Lines Poetry
Credit: Rosema Gonzales

Below is also n example of an image and word prompt used in Rosema’s #WordHighJuly writing challenge last year


Pleasant Compnanion


6. Have You Published Any Of Your Writing Or Are You Planning to Publish Works of Writing In The Future? Can You Briefly Describe Your Publishing and Writing Process?

All my written works are published on WordPress only for the moment. It’s part of my future plan to publish them soon maybe on my own, because scouting for a publisher is a tough task. I’m still building up the courage to finally, begin writing my own book. 

Because I’m not even one step towards publishing my work beyond my blog, I think I’m not a good writer or blogger to describe the process of publishing my writing. HOWEVER, I have great blogging friends who have successfully published their books and I’m sure they will willingly help people who like me, will eventually need tips on the entire publishing process. I have been reading some online material about self-publishing. So, I have gathered a ton of information there.

(See above Rosema self-published her poetry book!)


7. What Is Your Writing Process Like?

I have an erratic writing process. I write anywhere and anytime, because story ideas sprout unexpectedly. There are times for instance, when I am just walking and I come across someone who I don’t know and a poem is born! It’s an unpredictable process so I always have my phone handy because it’s my stockroom for poetry and fiction.


“I have an erratic writing process. I write anywhere and anytime, because story ideas sprout unexpectedly.” – Rosema Gonzales


8. Do You Prefer Certain Areas of Writing or Reading Styles and/or Genres?

I prefer reading in bed. I’m a certified librocubicularist. 🙂

When it comes to reading genres, I love Young-AdultMystery, ThrillersContemporary LiteratureHistorical FictionPoetry, and Faith related books.When it comes to writing, my most chosen genre is Romance; love, and more so, unrequited love. I also write realistic fiction and about tragedy. My blog friend Mel, of In Media Res has been joking about putting a death toll counterin my blog. HAHA. I’m close to considering it !


9. Do You Have Any Helpful Advice for Other Writers?

First, I must say write for yourself not for anyone else. It is blissful to have many people follow and read your work, but it is unusual to have many followers and readers as a writer or blogger starting out. So, do not be discouraged by a lack of other people reading your writing; write for no one but yourself.

Second, I you cannot compare yourself to other writers. Other writers maybe talented but you are talented in your own way as well. Such as fingerprintseach author has their own individual perspective and niche in the writing world. So, be yourself; find your own voice and style, then improve on it.

Lastly, I believe you should always be the first person who believes in your characters, in your poems, in in all your writing. This advice, I often give myself, and is a lesson I’m still trying to learn.


 

Carlie Jean UnSplash Tea
Credit: Carli Jeen via UnSplash

 


“[Y]ou cannot compare yourself to other writers. Other writers maybe talented but you are talented in your own way as well. Such as fingerprints, each author has their own individual perspective and niche in the writing world. So, be yourself; find your own voice and style, then improve on it.” – Rosema Gonzales 


10. Do You Have Anything About Yourself You’d Like to Share With Fellow Writers? 

Honestly, I’ve only just found my true writer-self. I think this year is the first, I’ve finally embraced creative writing. My focus before this year, was on writing straight news, real-life nonfiction, becoming a genuine journalist. Now, I am loving what I’ve been discovering about myself through creative writing.

As well, it would not be possible for me to have had such personal growth through writing if I did not have a great bunch of supportive and loving writers in the blogging community on WordPress. I would like to highlight the need for a friendly, honest, and interactive writing community.


11. Any Advice for Other Writers or Bloggers Starting Out? 

Bloggers and writers (online and in general), need to be kind enough to read the work of the writers who read your own posts. Let’s be supportive enough to correct grammar mistakes or provide tips on how a writer can improve on his or her work. Leave thoughtful comments on other bloggers and writers posts.

I know life happens and we do not always have a lot of time. But if we have the time and make the time, we need to somehow harness the power of our words to encourage our fellow writersHigh praises are not always needed, you can also give constructive criticism or disagree with what another writer wrote. What’s important is to let writers know how their work affects youhow you feel about their work.This is helpful, to all writers.

Writers should be the first to realize completely, the power of their words. I hope we can agree to use words to create an encouraging community. Let’s not underestimate the power of our comments. Comments on a writer’s work can change livesI’m proof and I can testify to the truth of comments changing my own life and writing.


“I know life happens and we do not always have a lot of time. But if we have the time and make the time, we need to somehow harness the power of our words to encourage our fellow writers. High praises are not always needed, you can also give constructive criticism or disagree with what another writer wrote.” – Rosema Gonzales


11. Please Share With Us Some Pieces Of Your Fiction And Poetry:

“Writer’s Note”

by

Rosema Gonzales

*****

Guilia Bertelli UnSplash - Notes Rosema
Credit: Giulia Bertelli via Unsplash

*****

No one,
nothing,
can take
my words
away
from me.

Break me,
confine me,
curse me,
abandon me,
my lines will bleed more
surely.

©2016 Rosemawrites@A Reading Writer. All Rights Reserved.


12. Here are some more Blog Posts from Rosema: 


Thanks so much Rosema for filling out interview questions and writing them with your heart. It always comes through in your work, fiction, poetry, or talking about your favourite books. I’m encouraged you will make wonderful strides in creative writing and in your career aspirations.


“Dreams are always possible, sometimes we only have to believe they can be a possibility!” – A.E. 


Once again, here is the link to Rosema’s blogA Reading WriterMany thanks for reading along. If you would like to be interviewed as a blogger, poet, writer, or blogger or a cause,  please let me know. You can reach-out to me through my Contact Page.


©Mandibelle16. (2016) All Rights Reserved.

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Day 6 -NaPoWriMo/ A to Z Challenge/ Flash Fiction for the Aspiring Writer: Poem – Blank Verse – “Coal Dust for Sunlight” #poetry #amwriting #flashfiction #NaPoWriMo #AtoZchallenge 


Today’s NaPoWriMo prompt is “to write a poem that looks at the same thing from various points of view.” The corresponding GoodRead’s quote for the A to Z Challenge is the letter E. 

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Credit: Yarn Spinner
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“It’s one of those things a person has to do; sometimes a person has to go a very long distance out of his way to come back a short distance correctly.” ― Edward Albee, The American Dream & The Zoo Story

——–

Down in the swamp, down in the bogs there’s —

Mud sucking at my feet, at my soul

Everyday I journey here and fight, 

The elements, the giant rocks, gnarled trees, 

Worst of all the swamp, pulling me in. 

There are days I believe I shall let it, 

But my wife she sees, working here means, 

In such a short while, we shall both be free. 

She says, we’re educated, we have more —

To us than meets the eye, we’ve wisdom

To work in horrible conditions, 

Because we know two years from now we —

Can leave this wretched bog behind, with all —

The tortures of the tormenting tree limbs, 

Nightmares left, there’s better; we’re going —

To the City, where education’s worth —

Something and I won’t have to hate each day. 

Mining for fuel, this coal coating my lungs, 

My wife’s happy, delighted, she is life

So I listen to my fathers last words:

“Don’t stay in this town all your life, move on. 

Take your girl, your college education, 

Leave this foul place behind, don’t be me, 

Coal dust in your lungs is misery and —

A cancerous death is what awaits you.” 

So, I worked and she and I, we left here

To the bustling city, with peaceful parks, 

We breathe, ‘neath blossomed trees, reading in light. 

——–


——–

©Mandibelle16. (2017) All Rights Reserved. 

Interview With Deborah Glover #interview #nonfiction #writer #amwriting #blogger


Welcome to another edition of my bi-weekly interviews. I’m sorry this is a week late but better late than never eh? Anyways, I’m excited to share with you the beautiful, kind, and talented writer and blogger, Deborah Glover from the blog: BookyGLover.


Interview DebGlover
Credit: Deb Glover

1. Please Tell Us About Yourself? 

 

My name is Deborah (Booky Glover). I am from Ondo state, Nigeria, but I live in Lagos. I am a Choleric/Melancholic, my parents first child,  and with that position comes responsibilities. I am a teacher by profession and a writer by passion. I’m also a Christian. and a foodie who reads, writes, listens to music and loves to make new friends. I began my blog writing for my eyes only in 2005 but began blogging for anyone to visit starting in July of 2015.


2. What Does Writing and Blogging Mean To You? 

Writing is a means of expressing myself. Whatever I am feeling, thinking of, or going through, I can write about it. Writing became more important to me when I began to experience unpleasantness in life. It became my means of surviving. I wrote down my pain and anger and all this writing made me feel better. It helped me see that the things I was going through were not quite as bad as I thought. Writing my thoughts down also gave me understanding about my situation and a different perspective.


“Writing became more important to me when I began to experience unpleasantness in life. It became my means of surviving. I wrote down my pain and anger and all this writing made me feel better.” – Deb Glover


3. Where do you Find Your Inspiration and Motivation to Write? Do You Find There Is A Time of Day You Enjoy Writing Most?

Life is my motivation. I see people, I listen to their tales and in the stillness, the words come to me. After I start writing, I don’t stop writing until I feel my flow of thought is cut off. Music is inspirational as well. 

I don’t have a particular time I prefer writing. There are times when I wake early in the morning with the intention of writing and nothing comes out. At these times, writing becomes a chore and I write a lot of nonsense.

But, there are times when I’m walking down the road and a line comes to me, or many words rush into my mind. In those times, I pick up my pen and book and scribble beside the road. Other times I write in the receptionist office while I wait for a job interview. I write at odd times and I’ve learned to keep a paper and pen with me at all times, even at my bed side.


4. What is Your Most Current Writing Project? Have You Published Any Writing or Are Your Planning to Publish Any?

I’m working on a book. It’s a novel. I have been really lazy in working on it but in good time I’ll finish it. I have a complete Novella. It needs editing work, a book cover, and then publishing. However, I feel skeptical about it. I completed the novella back in 2014. 


“Life is my motivation. I see people, I listen to their tales and in the stillness, the words come to me. After I start writing, I don’t stop writing until I feel my flow of thought is cut off.” – Deb Glover


 

InterviewDebGlover2
Credit: Deborah Glover

5. What Kind of Publishing Are You Considering? What Is Your Process of Writing Like? 

I have books I have read on publishing a book and I’ve chosen to self-publish online before publishing paperback novels. The first book I publish might be free.

 My writing process begins when a thought drops into my mind and I write until the flow of ideas stops. Then I leave my work for a while — a few hours, a day or more — then I return to it to edit or see what can be made better in the story. For the stories or poems I write on my blog site, they are mostly unplanned. I write as the inspiration comes. I write for myself and hope that someone out there can relate to what I am feeling or what my feelings manifest as.


6. Do Prefer Certain Areas of Writing or Reading? Do You Have Favorite Genres? Do You Have Any Helpful Advice for Other Writers? 

I like reading historical romances, detective books, poetry, African writers (mainstream), and sometimes I read Christian books. Apart from these genres, I read pretty much anything as long as it is a book. I only fling a book to the corner of the room when I’m halfway through the book and it is not making sense yet. I like to give every book I choose to read a chance.

Advice for other writers would be: Write. Write to please yourself. No one has written the exact way you write, no one has seen the world the way you see it. No one will put it down the way you would.


  “My writing process begins when a thought drops into my mind and I write until the flow of ideas stops. Then I leave my work for a while — a few hours, a day or more — then I return to it to edit or see what can be made better in the story.” – Deb Glover


7. Is There Anything Else You Would Like to Share With Us Pertinent to Writing or Yourself? 

Every writer shares bits and pieces of herself/himself. We are after all everyday people. I find out that when those bits slip into my work, I produce something beautiful. A work that makes me ask myself, ‘Did I really write something that good?”


8. Please Share With Us Your Top Three Favorite Blogs:  

  • Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha — Jacqueline’s posts vary from poetry, fiction, personal issues, to photography. She hosts blogging parties and I’ve always enjoyed meeting new bloggers through them.
  •  Sweet Aroma — Oneta Hayes is a great-grandma who is passionate about life, living, Christianity, humanity, and most importantly, she shows me how to be a better person through her comments on my blog posts. She’s one awesome woman!
  • Adebisi Olatunji FeminineMaterz — Adebisi does not write so much poetry but she shares the reality of our world in regards to the viewpoints of a woman. She dabbles in story writing and so far, it has been fun following her blog.

 P.S – Most of the blogs I follow are awesome and I could talk about each of them and tell you how beautiful they make my day.


9. Please Share With Us Some of Your Favorite Links from Your Blog:

Keep Moving Forward

By Deborah Glover

*****

“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

One-Liner Wednesday.

*****

Thank God, I’ve been a lot better. I am taking each day with all the bravery and courage my little heart can muster. I recently have had issues with my phone and this makes blogging, writing, or reading a chore. I have abandoned my e-books for paperbacks and long hours of chatting has changed into hours of reading my Bible and reading books I have not touched or opened in two years.

The words of Martin Luther King Jr. keep ringing in my heart. I have to keep moving forward. This quote has been my father’s favorite. We have had tough times in the family and he always said the quote below to me. He would quote Martin Luther King Jr words.

I won’t give up. You shouldn’t give up too.

Until next time,

Blessings!


“Booky, I won’t say there are problems so I won’t make an effort to be better. I have to keep investing time in my career, my vision and you have to do the same. If you can’t run, you walk….” — Mr. Glover (Deborah’s Dad)


Here Are Three More Links from Deborah’s Blog to Read:

 


Thank you so much to Deborah for sharing her writing and bits of her life with us. I appreciate her wanting to be interviewed and hope she is happy with the results. I am looking forward her novella and current novel, being published through self-publishing or otherwise. Here is the link to Deborah’s blog one more time: BookyGLover.

If you are a writer or blogger who would like to be interviewed for my biweekly interview series please contact me through my contact page HERE.  See you in a week, I’m going to try to get the interviews back on their every second Monday schedule. 


©Mandibelle16.(2017) All Rights Reserved.

Interview With Simon Farnell


Welcome to another bi-weekly interview. I’m excited to share with you today a writer and blogger by the name Simon Farnell from the blog: Planet Simon. Ensure you check-out his site. He is an avid and imaginative science-fiction and fantasy fan who writes superbly. I enjoy his Titan Mystery Serial and his thoughtful and interesting articles on the The Solar System.


simon-farnell
Simon Farnell

1. Hi Simon, Please Tell Us About Yourself:

My name is Simon Farnell and I come from the UK. I’ve lived here all of my life and I’ve rarely been away. The only time I’ve been away from the UK is for work. I’m a nearly forty-two-year -old man who grew up with a great imagination and a poor understanding of math.

Nevertheless, I became an engineer and started working with electronics, soldering, wiring, and fixing things. After many years some crazy person thought I should design electronics and through much blood, sweat, and tears, I still am.

I have always loved the outdoors and I have an avid sense of adventure in the natural world outside my back door. I’ve climbed numerous mountains, sailed around on the sea, and canoed to different places. This sense of exploration and discovery shows in my tastes of reading, films, music, and writing.

I’ve always loved Star Wars from when I was young and I love the science-fiction and fantasy genres. Through the years my love for these genres has shown especially in my taste in music. I listen to wonderful tracks that take me on great adventures.

One day I realized I have a vivid imagination and that maybe I should write some of my thoughts down. That’s how it began. 


planet-simon
Simon Farnell

2. When Did You Start Writing and Blogging?

I started blogging in 2012 when a friend I was working with suggested should write and share my thoughts as “I have something to say.” I didn’t blog much at first but I had a few ideas which I posted. Looking back on some of these first posts, I see some of it was terrible. I struggled working with WordPress and almost gave up on my blog until I figured out how to use the WordPress platform and discovered its power.

When my mother died in 2014,  I discovered I had all these emotions inside me and while I didn’t pour them into my blog, I found writing to be an escape for me, a kind of therapy. I believe it’s still helping me find the real me inside myself.


“When my mother died in 2014,  I discovered I had all these emotions inside me and while I didn’t pour them into my blog, I found writing to be an escape for me, a kind of therapy. I believe it’s still helping me find the real me inside myself.” – Simon Farnell


3. What Does Writing and Poetry Mean To You and Why Do You Write?

I write because I feel I need to write. I have stories I want to tell, worlds to discover, and feelings to pour out. When we read a story it’s someone’s story or imagination in written form and poetry feelings in written form. While I didn’t start my blog to write poetry, I have written some pieces which are my feeling painted by my fingers into words.


4. Where Do You Find Your Own Inspiration and Motivation to Write? Is There A Time Of Day You Prefer Writing?

A large part of my inspiration is from music. I’ve always loved movie themes and music soundtracks without words.  I’ve discovered the likes of Two Steps from Hell and Audiomachine which take me to places only my mind can go.

I like to write anytime,  but the evening is easier; however, even that is difficult at the moment – so I write any time I can.


“I write because I feel I need to write. I have stories I want to tell, worlds to discover, and feelings to pour out. When we read a story it’s someone’s story or imagination in written form and poetry feelings in written form.” – Simon Farnell


6. What Are Your Current Writing Projects or Do You Have Any Future Projects Planned?

A. For my blog I’ve been writing a serial story called the Titan Mystery – the title is crap and I’m going to re-work it later. The series is about a huge ship that bends time. It traps another ship and its crew in a time bubble and the story is of how the crew escapes.

Here is a link to the beginning of The Titan Mystery 

planet-simon-the-titan-mystery1


Continued . . .

B. I’ve also found that Minecraft is a useful vessel for telling stories and I have a series with Minecraft Steve:

Here is a link to Simon’s Minecraft Steve and the Lost City Part 4.

simon-minecraft-steve


Continued . . .

C. I’ve also been posting a series about conspiracy theories which have come to life and I study them to test their viability. It’s amazing how many mysteries there are out there and scary ones too.

Apart from these serials,  I have two books that I have started and I am slowly working through them. I’m not saying anything about them yet, but I’m hoping future posts will have information and updates on the books. Lets say, they should be pretty amazing.

Here is a link to Simon’s SciFi Files: Lunar Atmosphere

simon-sci-fi-files


7. Please Tell Us About Your Process: 

My writing process is to write what comes to mind or what I feel. I like to write more than I like to edit and I think this shows. My viewpoint is, spending time editing is time wasted which could be spent writing or something else. I know that when I write my book(s) that will have to change and I will have to edit.


8. What Are Your Preferred Genres of Reading And Writing? Do You Have Any Helpful Advice for Other Writers?

I like to read and write science-fiction and fantasy stories, this way I can let my mind go anywhere and anytime. I believe writers and bloggers should write themselves first. I know that if you want to sell you need to have a product. But make sure you write for you most of all.


“My writing process is to write what comes to mind or what I feel. I like to write more than I like to edit and I think this shows. My viewpoint is, spending time editing is time wasted which could be spent writing or something else.” – Simon Farnell


9. Do You Have Any More Pieces of Writing You’d Like To Share With Us?

This is more poetic piece that I wrote recently based on thoughts and feeling I was having at the time:

Torrents of Memories

By Simon Farnell.

simon-water
Simon Farnell

I stand absorbed by the falling water. Like moments in time they come and go so fast. Lost to the pool below, mixed together in an inseparable mix.

Yet my pool of thoughts can be separated, in mixed from the rest to bring g back moments in a drop, feelings lost to be rediscovered.

Soon I’m lost to every falling drop, memories crash over me in a crescendo and the moments lost in the torrent until I can feel them again.

Simon ☺


Continued . . .

This one is more humorous, based piece on someone I was working with:

 


Thank you Simon for answering the interview questions and sharing with us your fascinating science-fiction writing, fantasy writing, and thoughts on the world. If you would like to be apart of my bi-weekly interview series, please reach out to me on my Contact Page on Mandibelle16.

Until Next Time!


©Mandibelle16.(2016) All Rights Reserved.

 

Notable Quotes October 2016 Part One #quotes #pinterest


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©Mandibelle16. (2016) All Rights Reserved. 

Interview With Rosema Gonzales


Welcome to September and the third month of my bi-weekly interview series. I’m excited to share with you an interview of my good friend, talented writer, wonderful person, and wise woman: Rosema Gonzales from the Philippines. You can explore her blog at the following link: A Reading Writer .


Rosema
Rosema Gonzales

1. Rosema, Please Share With Us Some Things About Yourself?

I am my blog’s name: A Reading Writer. I read and write and in-between, eat cake and/or drink coffee.

I currently work for a small Public Relations firm as a Public Relations Associate and also a Public Relations Writer. I have a degree in journalism and I dream of becoming a news writer someday; a bonafide journalist. Although, I feel this goal could be a bit impossible, realistically speaking, but who knows?

When I’m not working, I’m blogging and writing. My blog, A Reading Writer , is my fortress and it has changed my writing-self dramatically. I used to only write book reviews and thoughts on books I was reading (wanted to read). Now, I write both poetry and fiction. I never thought I could write poetry or fiction until I joined the WordPress course: Writing 101, last year. Writing 101 changed my perspective on my writing abilities.

When I’m not writing or blogging, I have a thirst for reading. Mitch Albom is my  favorite author. I love all the novels I have, which Mitch Albom wrote, but it would take too long to name them all :D)

When I am not reading I am drinking a cuppa of dark coffee and wishing I could be eating cheesecake! 😀


2. When Did You First Start Writing and Blogging?

Technically, my first post was published on August 28, 2014, close to two-years-ago now. My first post was only the beginning of my ‘existence’ as a blogger. My ‘real’ more than existing as a blogger, began when I joined Writing 101 in September 2015. For me, this course offered by WordPress, somehow signaled the ‘rebirth’ of my A Reading Writer blog.


“My ‘real’ more than existing as a blogger, began when I joined Writing 101 in September 2015. For me, this course offered by WordPress, somehow signaled the ‘rebirth’ of my A Reading Writer blog.” – Rosema Gonzales


3. What Does Your Writing and Poetry Mean to You? Why Do You Write and Where Do You Find Your Inspiration and Motivation?

For me, writing is like breathing with words. No one can survive without breathing; that’s how vital writing and poetry are for me. My motivation and inspiration can come from anywhere. I had a writing piece which was inspired by a garbage truck once. Seriously! But the majority of my poetry and fiction are written while I’m riding the bus. I think my brain churns more when I’m commuting. Reading and music also inspire and motivate me, and have recently given birth to some unpublished poems, too. 🙂


4. Do You Find There Is A Time of Day You Most Enjoy Writing?

Hmmm. As I said before, I usually write on a bus so it’s either early morning or at night when  I write. Although, I think there is something about the silence and darkness of night that inspires more creative pieces as compared to when it’s daytime.


“For me, writing is like breathing with words. No one can survive without breathing; that’s how vital writing and poetry are form me. My motivation and inspiration can come from anywhere.” – Rosema Gonzales


5. Do You Have Any Current Writing Projects or Any Hopeful Writing Projects?

If hosting a writing challenge is a project then, I would say my most recent project called:  Word-High July has been my focus. #WordHighJuly featured thirty beautiful Filipino words as word prompts. Many poets and bloggers have written impeccable pieces inspired by these Filipino words such as halakhak, a noun which means loud uninhibited laughter, or kaulayai, a noun which means a pleasant and intimate companion. In terms of future projects, I’m dreaming of publishing my own poetry book in the future.


Below is an example of an image and word prompt used in Rosema’s #WordHighJuly writing challenge:


Pleasant Compnanion


6. Have You Published Any Of Your Writing Or Are You Planning to Publish Works of Writing In The Future? Can You Briefly Describe Your Publishing and Writing Process?

All my written works are published on WordPress only for the moment. It’s part of my future plan to publish them soon maybe on my own, because scouting for a publisher is a tough task. I’m still building up the courage to finally, begin writing my own book. 

Because I’m not even one step towards publishing my work beyond my blog, I think I’m not a good writer or blogger to describe the process of publishing my writing. HOWEVER, I have great blogging friends who have successfully published their books and I’m sure they will willingly help people who like me, will eventually need tips on the entire publishing process. I have been reading some online material about self-publishing. So, I have gathered a ton of information there.


7. What Is Your Writing Process Like?

I have an erratic writing process. I write anywhere and anytime, because story ideas sprout unexpectedly. There are times for instance, when I am just walking and I come across someone who I don’t know and a poem is born! It’s an unpredictable process so I always have my phone handy because it’s my stockroom for poetry and fiction.


” I have an erratic writing process. I write anywhere and anytime, because story ideas sprout unexpectedly.” – Rosema Gonzales


8. Do You Prefer Certain Areas of Writing or Reading Styles and/or Genres?

I prefer reading in bed. I’m a certified librocubicularist. 🙂

When it comes to reading genres, I love Young-Adult, Mystery, Thrillers, Contemporary Literature, Historical Fiction, Poetry, and Faith related books.When it comes to writing, my most chosen genre is Romance; love, and more so, unrequited love. I also write realistic fiction and about tragedy. My blog friend Mel, of In Media Res has been joking about putting a death toll counter in my blog. HAHA. I’m close to considering it !


9. Do You Have Any Helpful Advice for Other Writers?

First, I must say write for yourself not for anyone else. It is blissful to have many people follow and read your work, but it is unusual to have many followers and readers as a writer or blogger starting out. So, do not be discouraged by a lack of other people reading your writing; write for no one but yourself.

Second, I you cannot compare yourself to other writers. Other writers maybe talented but you are talented in your own way as well. Such as fingerprints, each author has their own individual perspective and niche in the writing world. So, be yourself; find your own voice and style, then improve on it.

Lastly, I believe you should always be the first person who believes in your characters, in your poems, in in all your writing. This advice, I often give myself, and is a lesson I’m still trying to learn.


10. Is There Anything Else You Want To Share With Us, Pertinent to Writing or Yourself?

Honestly, I’ve only just found my true writer-self. I think, this year is the first, I’ve finally embraced creative writing. My focus before this year, was on writing straight news, real-life nonfiction, becoming a genuine journalist. Now, I am loving what I’ve been discovering about myself through creative writing.

As well, it would not be possible for me to have had such personal growth through writing, if I did not have a great bunch of supportive and loving writers in the blogging community on WordPress. I would like to highlight the need for a friendly, honest, and interactive writing community.

Bloggers and writers (online and in general), need to be kind enough to read the work of the writers who read your own posts. Let’s be supportive enough to correct grammar mistakes or provide tips on how a writer can improve on his or her work. Leave thoughtful comments on other bloggers and writers posts.

I know life happens and we do not always have a lot of time. But if we have the time and make the time, we need to somehow harness the power of our words to encourage our fellow writers. High praises are not always needed, you can also give constructive criticism or disagree with what another writer wrote. What’s important is to let writers know how their work affects you, how you feel about their work.This is helpful, to all writers.

Writers should be the first to realize completely, the power of their words. I hope we can agree to use words to create an encouraging community. Let’s not underestimate the power of our comments. Comments on a writer’s work can change lives; I’m proof and I can testify to the truth of comments changing my own life and writing.


“I know life happens and we do not always have a lot of time. But if we have the time and make the time, we need to somehow harness the power of our words to encourage our fellow writers. High praises are not always needed, you can also give constructive criticism or disagree with what another writer wrote.” – Rosema Gonzales


11. Please Share With Us Some Pieces Of Your Fiction And Poetry:

“Writer’s Note”

No one,
nothing,
can take
my words
away
from me.

Break me,
confine me,
curse me,
abandon me,
my lines will bleed more
surely.

©2016 Rosemawrites@A Reading Writer. All Rights Reserved.


I would also like to share my first-ever fictional piece from Writing 101:


Thanks so much Rosema for filling out interview questions and writing them with your heart. It always comes through in your work, fiction, poetry, or talking about your favourite books. I’m encouraged you will make wonderful strides in creative writing and in your career aspirations.

Dreams are always possible, sometimes we only have to believe they can be a possibility!

Once again, here is the link to Rosema’s blog: A Reading Writer.


Many thanks for reading along in this bi-weekly interview series. If you would like to be interviewed and share about yourself and your writing aspirations, please let me know. You can reach-out to me through my Contact Page.


 

 

©Mandibelle16. (2016) All Rights Reserved.

 

JUNE Update: As Life Flows, It Goes. #amwriting #update


http://www.pinterest.com

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It feels as if it’s been a while since I have posted a personal update. I would think a month, then again, I start writing and get lost at times, not realizing for instance, how far along we are in June. I hope everyone is having a fantastic month and is  looking forward to July and August, our summer here in Canada and many other places.

As many of you know, How Was Last Night For You, my novel is finished in first draft. In second draft, I have edited until about Chapter 6, but you’ll want to note, the finished version, will probably have more chapters than the thirty-one chapters, the first draft has. When I start to realize I’m at three-thousand words or over, I consider splitting the chapter if it’s possible. It isn’t always, but sometimes it is, I only have to insure I hook the reader into the following chapter. I have connected chapter 1 to all chapters proceeding it in first draft. If you wish to read, you can start here: Chapter 1

At the moment, I’m letting my novel sit for a couple of weeks. I’ve read you’re supposed to leave it months, but I feel separation anxiety when I think of leaving my could-be book, for so long. As it is, some of the first few chapters were originally written more than a year or two ago anyways, so I think it is fine for me to go back and edit those chapters. By the time I get to the end chapters, I’m certain it will be late August or September, so I think I’m okay for editing as a whole.

Some issues I want to work on is developing my main character Nina. I feel as the central character, and main point-of-view for the novel, she is a bit flat as a character. I’ve been reading and researching, and would like to give her greater depth. I believe her lover John develops as the story goes on and has depth, so does my antagonist Talise or Tia. Talise has an interesting background, and so does John. Nina needs work though. She is a flirt right now who believes in the paranormal, and that things occur that can’t always be rationally explained. She also believes the best of people, this can be a flaw for her as well.

One blog I read said that we need to be careful we don’t create our characters after ourselves. They might share bits of us, as our so called “darlings,” or our “children” in a sense; it follow that they would. But there are all kinds of people in life and in stories and they need distinctive features and personality traits. This blog suggested, giving your main character a trait which is opposite of one of yours, this immediately makes them different than you. It makes you think about your character in a significantly changed way. So I’m pondering this advice, one reason for the editing break.

Another thing I have been considering a great deal is setting and how it impacts characters and the story. In my novel, I have set this story in Adare, a small fictional city outside Vancouver, BC , Canada. Adare’s down town has a harbor where there is the Sirene Lake. Many events happen at this harbor and in downtown Adare, as well as by or at John’s house, which is beach front property. Although, I have changed much of what I told into dialogue, this isn’t possible with everything. A descriptive setting is still important. 

Funny enough, a great writing blog I follow, posted an article today about working “showing” into your setting. It is exactly what I needed to read, having your setting represent a characters state of mind or mood. Or setting showing certain character attributes. The article is called: Setting – Why A Picture is Worth A Thousand Words. I recommend the article and following Kristen Lamb’s blog. She also holds online courses and I thinking about taking her course on character and plotting, I believe it would be quite helpful. 

On a sad note, I lost my beta reader for my novel, so I’m working on doing corrections on my own, as well as comments you all have left. My plan is to do my best, then higher an editor to look through the whole novel in a substantiative manner, and after those corrections I can decide whether I want to self-publish or start sending off query letters on the outside hope I can get an agent. That’s the plan, but one day at a time.

I have also been submitting smaller works to be published. I have had some success with poetry, but not so with fiction. I’m searching through literary magazines, and other websites etc. which publish writer’s work, jotting down what each place wants in terms of style, writing, and submission standards. I enjoy the rejection emails which give you ways to improve your writing the most. Either way, a rejection email means they at least read your work and considered it. Many places who don’t even consider your writing, don’t send any rejection email. You get nothing. 

Submitting is an ongoing process, and I hope eventually to have some fiction pieces published. As well, I’m beginning my work on a Masters Application. Haven’t started yet, in the thinking stage. I’ll let you know how it goes. Application at UBC isn’t open until late summer so I have a bit of time.

Also, I’m hoping to go on a small vacation somewhere. I’m not sure where, but somewhere in Canada. Probably go somewhere with my Mom or my eldest brother. But I’m trying ‘adulting,’ in some places, putting money away every month for RRSP’s and got some extra life insurance/accident insurance, so if something ever happened to me, my parents and brothers are covered for cost. I want to be out of debt and put more of my money away. It’s difficult in as all budget.

Happy to visit a friend on Whyte Avenue tomorrow, at a favourite newly renovated Cafe called Block 1912. Also, attending Shakespeare in the Park at an amphitheatre outside on Thursday, seeing Loves Labour Lost. I’ve never read this Shakespeare play so I’m excited to see it. What is more exciting than Shakespeare, is Shakespeare, good friends, and beer. 

Working on the weightloss, slowly, it’s coming. I wish it were easier, but it’s not. Birthday’s are coming up in July, which makes dieting difficult. But I try. 

Have a great week! 

——-

©Mandibelle16. (2016) All Rights Reserved.

A List Portrait Of Myself.


Thank You to La Duchesse D’erat for hosting this weeks list prompt. The list prompt for this week is a portrait of who you are.


Eating – For the most part a lot of protein and green vegetables. I am supposed to increase my protein because I’m not getting enough and am not losing weight because  I’m eating too little protein.

I’m not sure about this advice, but it is what my coach says from the supplement system I am on. I’ll have to check at the end of the week. Hopefully, I haven’t gained weight.

For protein I like greek yogurt, pecans, almonds, avocado, chicken breasts and thighs, occasionally pork or beef, and eggs.


Drinking – “Water, water everywhere but not a drop to drink.” – “Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner”

Kidding though. There is much water I’m supposed to drink. I have about five or six glasses of eight ounce each day, more if I can. Every few days I like a glass of milk or a Pepsi.


Watching – Scandal! It’s my favourite show and so exciting. Olivia can’t go anywhere near Jake and ruin her father’s plans of getting him into the Oval Office, or he’ll slit Jake’s throat. Olivia broke Jake’s heart so he wouldn’t die. All the candidates are being gathered for election for the new President after Fitz. It will be interesting who makes it into the Republican and Democratic leadership position on the show. Funny enough, there is a Donald Trump like character on the show.

Also love – Grey’s Anatomy, Vampire Diaries, Season 5 of Downton Abbey, and The Catch.


Going – Who knows at this point. I would like to take a small vacation somewhere. I’m thinking Vancouver at this moment.


Reading – The Shadow by Sylvain Reynard. Excellent writer. If you haven’t read the writer’s first series beginning with Gabriel’s Inferno, it’s awesome and has three books to it. This is the second book in his vampire series, which is connected to his first series. Yes, they are romance type books but have a lot of theology and paranormal aspects as well.


Texting – I’m kind of in a constant state of texting.


Playing – “Stairway to Heaven” by Led Zeppelin. A classic which never grows old.


Working – 1. On blogging and my different prompt challenges. This Month I’m doing #Mayday prompts from C.L. Kaley of new2blogging, please join in doing her prompts each day in May. Link to her page after each prompt.

2. Finishing How Was Last Night For You the last few chapters in first draft. I need to write the happy ending then, the first draft is done.

3. Working on editing in a major way, the first chapter of How Was Last Night For You. Going to be making sure, every sentence should be there for each chapter.


Listening – Well besides to my IPAD music, the Edmonton Global News is on. Bad fires in Ft. McMurray, Alberta. The entire city has had to evacuate. It’s awful!


Thanking – God, I don’t live in Ft. McMurray and praying for the people who have to leave their homes, probably to come back to nothing but scorched debris. I don’t think insurance covers this fire damage unless they find out it was arson. ‘Acts of God,’ aren’t covered by insurance. Prayers for them please!


Buying  – I paid my cellphone bill.


Planning – I want to finish my novel off in first draft. Then I need to edit and do more research on publishing. Also, need to figure out the vacation thing.And I need to spend a few days reading books, instead of writing them.


Visiting – My Grandma I hope for Mother’s Day. Also, my Great-Godmother sometime soon.


Wondering – Why is this list so long?


Feeling – Tired and frustrated. I’m trying to write and people keep talking to me all day long. I love the late hours when people are asleep and I can write in peace 🙂


©Mandibelle16. (2016) All Rights Reserved.

 

Part 5: Never Again: Kasia Meets Scott (her Dad).


Please Read Part 4 of ‘Never Again’ here.

Part 5: Never Again – Kasia Meets Scott (her Dad.)

(A month later).

Kasia was walking around a neighbourhood in Nice, shopping for Spring. She remembered a time when it was difficult for her mother Jolene to make ends meet.They could afford only items which were majorly on sale, or search for quality items of clothing from the thrift store. Sometimes, Kasia still found an item or two at the thrift shop.

Although, Kasia preferred to buy from La Petite Mademoiselle, her mother’s clothing store chain because of the sizable discount Kasia received, sometimes she enjoyed buying a few fashion pieces at some more unique boutiques. A sky-blue silk scarf and a shiney pair of gold leather heels, were Kasia’s unique fashion finds  this day. Jolene wouldn’t be expecting Kasia to be home for a few hours. Kasia had planned her trip that way, she had someone she needed to visit before she went home.

—–

Kasia had enjoyed spending a great deal of time back at the Chateau with her Auntie Cathy over the past month. Cathy had shown Kasia old pictures of her Mom,  as well as pictures of Kasia’s Grandparents. Kasia pointed out how beautiful Aunt Cathy was in some of her old pictures. Cathy smiled at her and changed the subject, showing Kasia pictures of her deceased husband Henry and telling Kasia stories of how Cathy and Henry met. Kasia had sipped her wine, while Aunt Cathy talked. She wasn’t paying much attention to Aunt Cathy’s repeated story but Kasia perked up when Aunt Cathy flipped to photographs of Jolene with a handsome young guy. Jolene seemed to be in many pictures with this one boy.

” Who’s that?” Kasia asked Aunt Cathy. Cathy’s hesitation was all Kasia needed. “That’s my Dad,  Scott right?” Kasia exclaimed. Cathy bit her lip and worried it between her teeth. She looked back at Kasia.

“Yes, that is Scott Jeune. Please, Kasia stay away from him. He’s not a nice man. Your Mom never told you about him sooner because he is selfish and arrogant. You don’t need him and his problems in your life. You are still so young Kasia, barely fifteen-years-old.” Kasia listened to her Aunt but in the back of her mind, she was already waiting for when she could be alone and Google Scott Jeune on her tablet. Kasia was going to meet her Dad one way or another, while Jolene was kept busy with meetings for work.

—–

Jolene had been spending hoards of her time with the owner of the Chateau, Luc Devreux. Kasia couldn’t remember her Mom actually dating a man more than once or twice. Her Mom always came home upset and dejected after the few dates she had. Luc was a fun guy and he made Jolene happy. Kasia couldn’t believe how light-hearted and content her Mom was when Luc was around.

Best of all, Luc was aware of how special Kasia was to her mother. Luc wasn’t outgoing as Jolene was, but he was a dependable and kind. He was the complement to Jolene’s outgoing personality. Luc was helpful, thoughtful, and a good listener. He invited Kasia along with him and Jolene often, but Kasia knew her Mom needed alone time with Luc too. Kasia was glad her Mom had someone to spend alone time with.

Kasia was a teenager and boys her age, were mostly in an awkward phase — even though she was friends with many of these boys. Kasia was often attracted to guys a bit older then herself, to her Mom’s horror. The last guy Kasia had liked had been eighteen.

—–

Nevertheless, Kasia took a taxi into Nice today. Shopping was Kasia’s coverup story, because most of her time would actually be spent talking with her Dad. Kasia had made an appointment with Scott Jeune, through his assistant. Scott worked at Jeune Incorporated. Kasia had no idea what she would say to him, or if Scott would even believe she was his daughter. She simply wanted to meet Scott, to confirm in person, who her Dad was.

Kasia wouldn’t go as far as saying she wanted to spend time with Scott, after she met him. She didn’t want to cause trouble for her Mom, going to see Scott; her Mom had  kept herself and Kasia hidden from Scott for five-years. But Kasia felt she had a right to know her own father. Anyone, who saw them together and had eyes, would know Kasia was Scott’s daughter. Kasia had seen how similar she appeared to a young Scott in Auntie Cathy’s photographs.

When Kasia arrived at Jeune Incorporated, she checked in with a receptionist and was directed to Scott’s office, to his Personal Assistant. Kasia felt nauseous as she waited to meet Scott, she wondered if she was making the right choice coming to Scott’s office.

The green tea Kasia drank made Kasia’s stomach upset and she jerked when Scott’s assistant told her, ” Mr. Jeune will see you now, Miss Gudroe.” Kasia nervously stood up and straightened her pencil skirt. She followed Scott’s assistant to his office and sat down on a soft leather chair. A skeptical pair of brown eyes assessed her. Kasia couldn’t breath, she was sitting in front of her Dad.

“Hello Kasia, pleased to meet you. I’m Scott Jeune. My assistant told me you say you’re related to Jolene Gudroe. I’m a bit confused; I’m not sure why she didn’t come here with you. You seem a bit young to be attending business meetings.” Scott said smirking. Kasia bit her lip, drawing a dot of blood.

“Well the truth is, Scott, I’m here alone. I made this appointment on my own and Jolene doesn’t know about it. I’m Jolene’s daughter. I’m here to see you because I only found out a month ago, that you’re my biological father.” Scott looked shocked.

“That’s not possible. Your mother and I broke up when we were twenty-one.” Scott said gruffly.

” Yes I know,” Kasia replied. “But she was pregnant and you wanted her to abort the baby. She only told you she aborted her baby. She was trying to hide her pregnancy from you and that is partly why you never saw her in person after you told her to ‘take care of me.’  Jolene kept me. I’m her daughter and your daughter too.” Kasia said, emotion evident in her voice.

Scott laughed. ” How much money are you after Kasia? I know a trick when I see one. You’ll get nothing from me. I hear your Mother is doing financially well, ask her for money.”

“It has nothing to do with money,” Kasia said firmly.”It has everything with me wanting to meet my Dad.” Scott shook his head in disbelief.” Look at me Mr. Jeune, can’t you see we look related. Besides not having your brown eyes, we look a great deal alike.”

Scott’s face had gone white.”Jolene didn’t abort the baby. You are that baby, that would make you fourteen?” Scott said.

” Actually, I just turned fifteen.” Kasia was happy to be a year older and closer to being more grown up.

” I can’t believe she never told me, ” Scott declared suddenly angry. ” What  is wrong with Jolene. You have existed for fifteen years and she never once mentioned you.” Scott’s fingers dug into the leather of his armchair, making indents.

“Well,” Kasia said matter-of-factly, “It’s your own fault Mr. Jeune.” Scott looked taken aback by Kasia’s comment.

“My fault?”

“Yes, I will tell you why. And I will also tell you why you are going to leave me and my mother alone, despite the fact I’m your biological daughter. I needed to see you today to ensure I was right, that you are my Dad. Looking at you I know. The timing of when my Mom was pregnant lines up exactly for when my mother was seeing you.” Kasia explained.

“You told her you weren’t ready to have kids. You wanted her to get rid of me as if my life was worth nothing. You tried to take away her right to choose. But she loved me even at a few weeks old and kept me. She was so hurt and mad at you, you just threw your money in Jolene’s face and said to her to get me ‘taken care of.’ I hate you for that.” Kasia paused, sipping a glass of water in front of her. Scott was rapt.

“My mother wouldn’t talk to you for a month because she didn’t feel she could tell you she was pregnant — you didn’t want me. And you always planned everything for her. You never gave her a say in your relationship. You wanted her to remain a skinny model and not to achieve her dreams of going to fashion school. Then, you told my Mother you wanted her to stay home and have kids and when a kid arrived, you wanted to abort me.” Kasia shouted.

“Not to mention, I’m aware of how you slept around behind my Mother’s back. My Mom only learned about this later. She loved you so much, she would never have cheated on you. When my Mom first told you she was pregnant, you were dating your wife, Katrina because she had money and did what you wanted her to do. You can control Katrina…” Kasia cried. Scott looked furious.

” You’re just a teenager, what do you know Kasia?” Scott shouted. “Don’t talk about my wife that way. I couldn’t handle a kid at that time I was working, building a future, doing my Masters in Business, and trying to keep up with your Mother’s career. She was always travelling. Jolene loved showing off and having people look at her. If I used her beauty to my advantage so what. She used it, why shouldn’t I as her almost fiancé.” Scott said.

“And yes, I’ll be honest with you Kasia,” Scott said lowering his voice, “I’m a handsome guy. I’ve had my share of women. When your Mother was away, I needed other girls to keep me occupied.It’s how men are. You should know Kasia, you’re a smart girl who undoubtedly attracts her fair share of boys. My best advice for you if I’m your Dad, is that ‘boys will be boys,’ Kasia.” Scott said this last part with ridiculous self-assurance.

Kasia thought Scott was a disgusting pig. Not to mention, if Scott was her Dad, she didn’t need to know about him sleeping around at any point in his life. Still, Kasia was curious how Katrina felt about Scott’s unfaithfulness.

“Does Katrina know you cheat on her all the time? Do your kids know you sleep around? Do you have sons you are teaching to treat woman as badly as you do?” Kasia asked softly. Scott didn’t look perturbed by her questions.

“Fair question,” he mused. “Yes, Katrina knows I sleep around. And she has an ongoing affair with a guy she met in Madrid, on vacation. I don’t mind honestly, it keeps her occupied from bothering me. Not that I’m not ‘with’ my wife often but she knows how it works in our marriage; in many marriages. Just as I said, boys will be boys –men will be men.” Scott smirked again, annoying Kasia greatly.

” And your kids?” Kasia asked Scott again. He shrugged.

“I have a daughter who is about twelve-years-old, and when she is ready to date, I will make sure she eventually finds a guy who will take care of her. I can’t help it if the guy is faithful to her, I wish I could. But I’m not a hypocrite and don’t expect different behaviour from other guys when I am not faithful to my own wife. Sara’s mother will help her to understand. Katrina grew up in a world where she learned exactly what men behaved like in relationships.” Scott said matter-of-factly.

“I have two boys as well. They are young yet, but I imagine they will be a chip off the old block; I was. Does that answer your questions Kasia?” Kasia was tired and Scott made her feel disgusted about all men. She  hoped they weren’t all like Scott, or his Dad — her paternal Grandpa.

“You are awful Scott. I’m glad I never knew you were my Dad before this month. You’re supposed to be faithful to the person you marry, it’s a partnership. You don’t sleep around because you are supposed to love your spouse and be honest with them. Your view of marriage is screwed up Scott. ‘Boys will be boys,’ is a pitiful excuse you use to get away with being a coward and man-whore. No wonder Katrina has a long standing affair with another man. He’s probably treats her the way you should be treating her.” Kasia said angrily.

” My Mom always thought you were her ‘one and only.’ Then you tried to make her get an abortion. You dumped her two-months later. She never got over you and whenever she tried, you would contact her trying to hook-up and have an affair with her. She could never heal because you wouldn’t let her be. My Mom thought for the longest time she would only love you for life. But she was wrong, she is seeing someone now and he’s nothing like you, and I’m so glad.”

“Who’s she seeing?” Scott asked, “She still loves me. Jolene always will, this guy is only the newest model. Jolene was as much of a whore as I was.” Kasia shook her head in disgust at Scott’s jealousy and lies. She stood up and held out her hand. Scott appeared confused but he shook Kasia’s offered hand. His touch gave Kasia chills.

“Nice to meet you, mon pere, now stay the hell away from my Mom and me. Jolene hates you and so do I.  I understand why my Mom never told me about you, she was ashamed of you. You are an ass and I never want to speak to you again and I want nothing from you. Don’t contact us ever.” Kasia screamed the last part and Scott was taken aback at her fury.

“Wait Kasia…” Scott tried to reason with her, ” you’re my daughter, you can’t introduce yourself and then tell me to leave you alone.” Kasia was already striding out of Scott’s office.

” I just did,” Kasia replied giving Scott the appropriate finger.

—–

©Mandibelle16. All Rights Reserved.

On Mental Illness and the Latest


I feel like I am moving through life at the pace of a snail. I think of all the things everybody is accomplishing and all the events happening with the beginning of school and busier times at work and I feel frustrated that I am not a part of that world. Or, I am only part of that world to such a minute degree. I use to love that world it filled me with exhilaration and I crammed every minute of it full that I could with people and events to go to. I was at the cusp of life and beginning to accomplish things that I had always dreamed I could accomplish, when I fell ill. You all know ( or most of you know) that story and my battle with mental illness and chronic fatigue.

This battle has forced me to slow down to a great degree. I look and see everyone else so busy and aware of so much around them that I feel lost. I try to get out but it’s not the same having goals now as it is having a job. I’m constantly reminded of that by the “why are you so tired” when people arrive home after a challenging day. As if, I can help the fact that I don’t work and can’t be around people all day accomplishing something and giving back to society. It doesn’t make my time any less valid or useful. But I do try to stay involved with the world to pick up little facts here and there and be aware of what’s going on in the news and in people’s lives. I’m not always able to listen as long as I like but I try to be on the same page as other people. But it’s difficult because explaining how much rest I need or that I am worn out after a couple of hours is frustrating for me and my friends and family.

Sometimes, I just need to be alone. I crave that time when the only noise I hear is the TV or the music from my Ipad. I like the soothing atmosphere I feel when people aren’t up and about doing everything around you, and I can just read my book or write what I need to write. I have always needed this alone time even when I was well but these days I just find I need more of it.

But frustratingly, I hate this alone time as much as I need it. I want to be where things are happening, where people are talking, and I want to be involved in life, not merely an observer. And it drives me crazy how when I finally get to be around people how irritated I feel lately. Irritated because they talk and talk about themselves and although I’m glad to listen, I don’t feel I have place to talk about me or I get this feeling I shouldn’t be talking about me because then I’m just feeling sorry for myself and talking about this horrible illness we call mental illness that people shy away from and stop talking about it when it is brought up in conversation.

Some people try, I know they do, but it is difficult for someone to understand mental illness without some experience of their own whether from themselves or a loved one. I think it’s very important that people with mental illness understand that you or your life is no less important because you can’t do things that other people can do. You are not invalid because you cannot work or socialize the way you’d like to. Also, it is vital to note that an incredibly large number of people with mental illness are extremely smart and/or creative. Why this happens especially to people with those personality traits I don’t know but I think it is good to note that just because someone acts differently then you or has the challenge of mental illness does not make them dumb or talentless.

Doing things with mental illness is often like performing tasks through a veil. If you have a mental illness you always have that problem in front of your face to work around and through as you are dealing with others and going about your daily life. Everybody has this problem to some extent with their own difficulties but it is an excellent way to understand what people mental illness go through each minute of their lives. Mental illness is like carrying all the packs of mountain on a hike while everyone else gets to hike up pack free.

My own difficulties these days are because of a medication I am on called Clozapine. I was actually doing okay and the bad side effects were starting to go away when my body became use to the drug and now I can no longer go to sleep just on that drug. I need some immuvane to help me fall asleep, and I am becoming use to the immuvane really fast. The alternative is to up the Clozapine does and that is about all my alternatives. I was so frustrated at my doctor’s office the other day that I began to cry. I didn’t mean to but it’s horrible to now I will have to experience bad side effects again in order that I may sleep. For now I am not upping the dose but I will have to do it if I want to sleep. But I can’t handle the side effects and take a course in Fall and go downtown when I need to pick up stuff, drop stuff off, or schedule an exam for in the day. But it has become very important to me to get this Residential Design Certificate. It’s like then I can say, I’ve accomplished something these past seven years.

After that life is pretty much, well, whatever I want it to be. I want to get debts paid off. But I also really want to try for a creative writing masters at UBC. I was thinking about applying in the Spring when application time is. I can receive some funding as a disabilities student and I’ll get to write so that won’t be so bad. I am also deciding on whether or not I might like to try some drawing courses in the day somewhere. I am talented in art but I haven’t done it in a while. So who knows where I will go.

After, a four-year relationship the idea of dating is daunting. I always feel as if my illness is a big mark against me. Although, I know some guys won’t care, I know a lot will and it stops me from getting back into the whole dating thing especially when it comes to be able to go out at night and date. I started some online chatting but I am wondering if I just need to deal with my health and school now and if that would be a better thing, then trying to find someone I would like to date. But my friends almost all have husbands and boyfriends and I feel as if I spent to long with A. But sometime I will meet the right person I want to date again. For now, I’m just moving along trying to deal with everything else.

Thanks for reading!