Making Yourself Useful


Every 3rd week of the month when A comes up to Edmonton from his job as a cook near Ft. Mcmurrey, I stay over a night or two at his apartment. When I’m at home I always have activities around me that I could be doing but when I am at A’s place I’m never quite sure what to do.

We watch some TV together, talk a bit, and he often cooks supper. I do the dishes and since I get up earlier then him I have time to fully shower and get myself ready for today. Today I cooked myself breakfast (eggs) and offered to cook for him but he had to go off and do an errand. And often I find he just has to take off and do errands and I don’t think he wants me to come with him to do these errands. So I hang out at A’s place and after cleaning up a little I feel useless. I feel as if I should be doing something but I’m not quite sure what to do.

The problem for me is I have never had a long term boyfriend before or a best guy friend so I don’t know what course of action I should take. Should I insist I come with him on at least some of his errands or should I just be content to stay at his apartment. Why I worry about this situation is because I think that how we act about situations such as this now is indicative of how our relationship will be in the future after a longer amount of time or when we are married. Will he want to include me in what he does then or will the situation be such as now, me waiting home like the good little girlfriend. I know he is careful because I have less energy but sometimes I think he doesn’t want to share his life with me.

But I’m really not sure as a couple what is a comfortable amount of each other’s life to share with each other. Shouldn’t we maintain the awesome connection we have on dates at his apartment or my home? I’m not sure. I just know I’m sitting here and I don’t know what to do or how to react to him just leaving me for 2 hours. I know he has stuff to do and that A probably isn’t aware I feel this way but I’m nervous he sees me as useless. That he thinks I can’t take care of myself because I still live at home and have health issues. What do I do? I really don’t know

Any ideas?

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