How Much Does It Really Cost to be a Woman and Sarah Maple – Getting Rid of the Sunshine Girl!

English: 'White Girl' - digital print - 60 x 4...
English: ‘White Girl’ – digital print – 60 x 40 ‘White Girl’ by Sarah Maple Sarah Maple (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hi everyone,

Here are my two latest articles from FLURT. I think I enjoyed writing the first article more and the second  article less because it was  a bit of a challenge because I had no idea who Sarah Maple was until I wrote the article and It took me a bit to read and understand where she is coming from in her various forms of artwork. So, yes woman are expensive but Sarah Maple reinforces the view that every woman is beautiful no matter who she is. Enjoy!

How Much Does It Really Cost to be a Woman?

Sarah Maple Wants You to Turn Your Back on Page 3the Sunshine girl


Communication – it can be frustrating!

English: iphone Deutsch: iphone

My friends might call me quiet, even a bit shy sometimes (or at least I feel shy sometimes) but when I want something to occur I am a very straightforward communicator. I say what I want and have no problems about asking for that something. I might have a nice way of asking for it, or have a roundabout way of getting to tell you what I want, but I’ll get there and as soon as I can. Moreover, I plan ahead – I have learned that I have to. Having a limited amount of energy to do things means that I have to plan in times (days) I can just rest and plan times when I really have to (or want to) get things done.  As a communicator then I will ask a week often more, in advance events I would like to do with friends like coffee dates, dinners, wine tastings, etc. This is between doctor appointments, school, occupational therapist visits, and all the other stuff I need to get done in the month. I like to have a balanced calendar and it can be a bit stressful when I have too many things to do and not enough time to unwind. Things get cancelled, people you want to see do not get seen, and appointments do not go very well.

I can also do only one big thing in a day. So if I spend 4-5 hours going to school that’s my activity. If I spend 4-5 hours hanging out a night with some friends on the patio that too is my activity. But not both. So sometimes this whole planning and communication can be a little difficult to explain and work around when you are meeting new people. Many people are used to just going where ever they feel like when ever they feel it, when time permits them. They do not understand about organizing and planning something; Incidently, I do not only think planning is necessary for me, but for anybody who is trying to accomplish certain activities or goals in their life. I understand people work that they are constrained by work hours and things like there families and other responsibilities but I get really frustrated when people leave things to the last minute with me. It sucks to be waiting around all day for someone to tell you if they are or are not going to be doing something with you, or at what time (because you do not want to tire yourself out because then you could not do anything with them). It also makes me feel like I’m not important, like I am a last thought or someone they are  doing something with because nothing better came up. If someone is important to you make the time to see them and tell them when approximately you want to visit them. Tell them what your thinking in regard to your plans, you owe other people that much; be accountable. Everyone else has to be accountable to the important people in their life, why shouldn’t you?

Communicaton can be really difficult and figuring out how someone communicates whether through talking, telephone, or email can be especially difficult. With some people you know if you do not bother them and bother them they will not communicate back to you. Some people you can count on to get back to you right away. Sometimes you know people will not get back to you right away, but they will get back to you eventually. I think you should be able to expect that people within reason will get back to you as a common curteousy. Now sometimes people forget, get busy, but sometimes not – and that is when I get frustrated. Communication is not clear cut as much as I would like it to be, a lot of times we as people are left to figure out how to communicate back with someone, if we want to communicate back to a person at all, or if we simply sit back and let someone else enniate communication.

As for me, I have decided that there are certain people in my life I will wait for, and certain people I will not. I try to be courteous and give people chances but after a while you are either in or you are out, or you are in that gray area I assign to people I do not think I will hear from, but some day unexpectedly I just might. But what I would really like is just to know the day of an event, what is happening? What time are we leaving? And how should I dress? In the end that’s what I care about. If you could give me that curteousy, I would much appreciate it and so would other people I know.

Cause We Never Stop Growing

Garden flower
Garden flower (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Be not afraid of growing slowly; be afraid only of standing still.

Chinese Proverb

Personal Growth is sometimes a difficult thing to achieve. Often, I think I find myself in a place where I have stopped growing, where I am just stuck! But I am finding more and more that feeling stuck is an illusion. Often it appears that we have come to a stand still in our lives but instead, we are growing slowly, inching towards our new selves, towards the future. The funny thing about personal growth is that sometimes when we feel as if we are on top of the world, that we have achieved our goals and are in a good place, we do not want to grow anymore. But as the poet Andrew Marvell writes in the poem “To His Coy Mistress” ” [b]ut at my back I always hear/Time’s winged chariots hurrying near” (21-22). Time is always changing and moving ahead despite our best wishes to keep things as they are; we do not have time enough to wait.

Case in point, my fourth year of university was one of the best years of my life. I was getting a 3.7 average, I had made some of the best friends of my life, my skin was nice, I was the perfect weight. My nights I spent partying and drinking with my friends, my days I spent writing english paper’s which were at this point in my university career not so difficult, I worked the perfect number of hours (15 -17 hours)at the university bookstore where I worked with all my friends and because of my job I could afford to drink and buy some of the clothes I wanted. Plus, and maybe most of all, I had a bright future ahead. I graduated with distinction and had a big fun grad party and dinner. I was at that time, at the top of my world. But time never stays still and although my university career had blossomed into that awesome fourth ( which continued into half a fifth year) year, it was time for me to grow again.

After year five and half of years of university it was time to get a job. And I did get a job through temping eventually at an excellent company as a receptionist. I even moved up into the position of construction administrative assistant and had been told I had a future as at least an assistant project manager. Things looked hopeful, I was growing, learning my way in the business world. Making contacts, building a career, doing everything I thought that my training in school had brought me to be – an actual grown up. But then out of nowhere I got sick. And funny enough although I grew and changed through those good times in university and that first year at work, it is when I was sickest that I really began to grow.

In my blog on avoiding boredom, I mentioned a lot about that time I had an episode. How I had to fight to keep a routein to give myself something to look forward to. But what I did not say was how hard it was to be stuck at home unable to drive (my reaction times were slow and I did not have the energy to drive). When my friends were out drinking and doing all these night activities I could not do them with them because I was too tired after 9 pm; I was stuck at home. I missed meeting a lot of people and seeing a lot of friends. Even taking the bus tired me out, and often still does . I gained weight from the medication, my head was hazy, my body not my own – it moved slowly and ached incessantly at my neck and shoulders. Now like I said in that article, I am gaining back my energy and gaining back my life. I am going to classes, meeting up with friends and different times again, exercising as much as I can. But that growing process from poor health to my current health status was one of the hardest times of my life.

I know times will get harder, that I am young and that their will be other tough times but this was the first time I had every had to deal with anything of this magnitude. When I was at my lowest I grew the most. I felt a strong call back to God, to Jesus and religion. I also felt a strong bond develop again between my parents and I. My parent’s were with me through the whole ordeal and never left my side. I began to connect with other family like my grandma, godparents’ and friends I had been too busy to see before. I developed deeper and stronger bonds with my university friends that were not just based around drinking and partying but around other common interests and good times. Sometimes I said goodbye to certain friend’s in certain ways because we could never be the friends we once were. I grew and I grew.

I continue to grow and I realize that this is a process that will never stop. As Marvell complained to his mistress, time, time, is “always near” (22-23). But he did have some good advice as to this problem. Marvell said to his mistress: 

Let us roll all our strength, and all

Our sweetness, up into one ball;
And tear our pleasures with rough strife
Thorough the iron gates of life.
Thus, though we cannot make our sun
Stand still, yet we will make him run. (41-46)
 We like Marvell and his mistress must deal with the life we have and grow, grow anyways no matter what our situation and “tear our pleasures” in life, enjoy what we can (43). And even when we think things are not changed or will not change, we are wrong because time continues to move, the sun to rise and set. We are always growing and looking back I can really see myself develop as time changed not only when times were good, but especially when times were bad. As the saying goes: What does not kill you, makes you stronger and I intend not to just make my “sun / [s]tand still” but to “make him run” (45-46).
Works Cited
Marvell, Andrew. Representative Poetry Online. “To His Coy Mistress.” 1681. 10 May