Photo Challenge: Poem – Cascading Etherees – “Sleep Walker”


Thanks to Mind Love Misery’s Menagerie for hosting.


Water Girl Brook Shaden Photography
Brooke Shaden Photography

Resplendent woman in her ivory gown,

Treading downstairs in sleep, not knowing,

Dreams guide her graceful body through,

A darkened house, unaware —

Their mama walks in sleep,

Following her story,

Playing out in,

Dream –

Scapes.


She’s,

But a —

Waif as she,

Opens the front,

Door, padding barefoot,

Unto the beach, squishing,

Sand between her toes, walking,

To the ocean’s shore, where waves pull,

Lantern in hand, believes she’ll become,

A mermaid, as she wades in waters deep.


Waves brush her thighs, makes her gown sodden, wet.

She doesn’t realize anything is wrong but —

She keeps wading into the ocean,

Despite, the cold and water,

Trying to suck her down,

She keeps walking,

Knowing that,

Reward,

Waits.


Waist,

Deep she,

Kicks off from,

Sandy bottom,

She floats, her lantern —

Lights the way, as water comes,

Up to her waist and past her —

Chest as she swims, dreaming she has,

Her mermaid’s tale, joins her sisters in —

Ocean, she greets them, soaring in the waves.


From the house, a small girl watches, mama sink.

Tears roll down, soft cheeks; mom doesn’t return.

“Stay away from the ocean girl,” her —

Grandma always warned them.

Mama needed freedom,

Didn’t actually die.

Daughter knows she,

Swims in deep,

Peaceful

Now.


Girl,

Is sad,

But knows her –

Most loved mama,

Goes to happier place,

To ocean’s froth, she’s free.

Gran cooks pancakes, strawberry —

Sauce and whipped cream; mama’s favorite,

Girl watches with delight how mermaids play,

Sees Mom flip jade tail, waving to her girl.


©Mandibelle16 (2016). All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

 

 

19. How Was Last Night For You: Talise’s Cave and John’s Nightmare


Please read Chapter 18 here.

Chapter 19: Talise’s Cave and John’s Nightmare.

John had borrowed a motor boat from his brother Jordan, who enjoyed taking the boat out fishing. He had considered asking Jordan to come with him, but he hadn’t wanted to risk his younger brother’s life. John had his sailing boat but it wasn’t inconspicuous enough for him to take out to Tia’s hallowed cave.

An immense moon hung in the night sky, as if it were a giant orb of white gold. John recalled the full moon when he had first meant Nina. He thought about Nina always, without meaning to think of her.

It had only been a week since John had last seen Nina, at his parents house,  and he missed Nina exceptionally. During her time healing from her concussion, John and Nina had been inseparable. John felt a sickening in his stomach when he recalled how he had left Nina, crying and begging him not to end their relationship.

But stronger than the misery John felt missing Nina, was the fear he perceived for Nina’s life. John had snapped when Nina was almost mowed down by a giant red pickup truck, surely Tia’s doing. He had taken the only action he could think of without exploding in rage, frustration, and  animosity concerning Tia; John left Nina hurting.

John had realized the best way for him to keep Nina safe from Tia, was for him to keep his distance from her. Especially since Tia was after Nina, and wanted her heart. Maybe now, Tia would take John’s heart. It wasn’t as if John had much of a heart left after being cursed to have horrific events occur around him for ten-years, and after letting Nina go.

On the way home from parents house,  John experienced a ‘feeling’ he hadn’t sensed it a while. A horrific event was about to occur. Two vehicles behind John’s Mercedes collided and were in a serious car accident. John had called 911 immediately and the Adare Fire Department had had to bring in the ‘jaws of life’ to cut a critically injured man out of his smashed white Corolla. John had given a witness statement and stopped to assist at the wreckage. He knew that he was the one whose curse was responsible for the severely injured people and their destroyed vehicles.

John’s curse had returned and the fact further enraged John, who was already in a dangerous  mood due to Nina’s near accident. He had gone home and worked the hell out of a punching bag and pulled out his favourite luxury vodka.

Nina was the most precious person to John, he loved her. He hadn’t admitted it to her but it was true. He knew it inside. John had asked Rianne and his family to keep on eye on Nina after his fight. Even if having his family in Nina’s life was weird when Nina and John weren’t speaking. Rianne was at Nina’s condo tonight while John was out, searching for Tia’s soul or the dagger that she carried.

Jordan’s motor boat puttered along the Sirene Lake, it wasn’t exceedingly noisy, so John had some stealth approaching Tia’s cave. The night was clear and the moonlight lit John’s path. He was guiding the boat along some stone edifices when he came to the hidden piece of white beach and cave, Tia’s sanctuary.

Tia and John had come here years ago, to make love and enjoy each other’s company. Tia had insisted John and her come here to relax and be together. Presently, in the chilly night air, the former haven of white sand seemed forbidding. John brought the motor boat as close to the beach as he could. He dropped anchor, stepping out into the freezing water, grazing his thighs. No matter, John had worn a black wetsuit for his mission.

John carried a flashlight with him, but he didn’t turn the flashlight on. He was waiting to see if Tia might be here. In the past, John knew, Tia slept in her cave. She didn’t seem to feel the cold as human’s did. She came to her secret place when she was angry or hurt, so there was a substantial chance, Tia was here.

He should stop calling her Tia, John thought. The young girl John knew as Tia no longer existed. Talise was the name of the seawitch, the horrible bitch who tried have Nina run down and had given Nina a serious concussion.

Warily, John tiptoed through the white sand in his bare feet, heading for Talise’s cave with the fantastic crystal mirror, Tia’s looking glass she called it. As he crept, John recalled the dreams he had been having of Talise lately. In these dreams he felt as if he was stuck in quicksand. He could not make his own body move. He had no control, as Talise dragged Nina out into the deepest part of the Sirene Lake where Nina was murdered.


 

” John, help me!” Nina screamed to John in his nightmare.” Why won’t you move? Talise is trying to drown me and I can’t get free. Talise’s magic has made her strong.”

In his nightmare, Talise would laugh maniacally at John, while forcing Nina into more treacherous depths.

” You can do nothing, John,” Talise would say, her voice gravely and low. “Nina your heart is mine! No one will find you in the middle of the Sirene Lake, no one can save you from my cursed dagger. Going through your heart, the dagger will be sharp and painful Nina. I will kill you slowly, to take your soul. The ritual requires me to do so. And I don’t mind at all . . .” Talise raged.

“It’s your fault Nina. You should’ve stayed far away from John. I warned you he was not for you. John’s mine. I merely wanted him to suffer before I came back to him. We are meant to be… but you changed fate. Now John loves you and I’ve been forced to bewitch him. John can only do what I order him to do — he has no free will. He’s going to watch from the shallow water, while I kill you and steal your soul.” In the nightmare, Talise was evil. She had become a depraved shadow of her former self.

John would try with all his might to move his body, to stop Talise. But always, the same event occurred in his dream. John regarded Talise in abhorrence and loathing as she stabbed his beloved through her heart. Talise took her time, drawing out Nina’s suffering. Tears flowed down John’s cheeks as Nina languished in agony, begging for Talise to kill her faster.

Then, the life would perceptibly flicker out of Nina’s pale blue eyes. John could always see this detail well. John would feel as if he was holding Nina as he cried witnessing deep red blood, Nina’s life force, seeping out of her body into the Sirene Lake.

Talise would chant an ancient language, while John wept with fury, experiencing a sharp pain in his own chest, at Nina’s death. Then a luminous glowing  orb would float above Nina’s body. Nina’s soul would arise and come to rest in a special container Talise held in her hand. John was traumatized. He could see the details of the container well. It was a clear, round, sphere, materialized of magic.

Talise would laugh maniacally watching John grieve. John remembered in his nightmare, the feeling of himself dying inside as Nina’s corpse, white and stiff , floated by Talise in the Sirene. John didn’t understand why his his nightmare felt so life-like.

Inside John experienced immense sorrow and rage against Talise. But he had no control over his free will. When Talise called for him to join her deeper in the Sirene Lake’s water, John obediently swam out to her. Talise gave John Nina’s soul, brilliant in the magic orb. In his nightmare he recalled thinking, it was his last piece of Nina. Talise smirked as John grasped the sphere and hid it in his pocket sadly.

John tred water in the Sirene Lake, while Talise appeared to float effortlessly. When Talise tried to kiss him, more tears leaked out of John’s eyes. He was crying for Nina and could not stop. But John didn’t make a sound as Talise demanded he kiss her. He did so with ardor, even though it wasn’t ardor he felt for Talise, only disgust and loathing.

John had woken every night that past week, since Nina was nearly hit by the red truck, sweating profusely with tears running down his stubbled cheeks. The nightmare drained John and he had a feeling, this dream could become reality if he did not stop Talise. Nina could die and John would be doomed to live a life, a slave to Talise’s desires. John involuntarily shivered.

Please Read Chapter 20 here.


 

©Mandibelle16.(2016) All Rights Reserved.

 

A Weighty Issue


www.plussizemodelsunite.com
http://www.plussizemodelsunite.com

I have thought a great deal about weight lately and not only because of the reasons I explained in my last blog. It occurs to me what an weird issue weight plays in our lives. Back in the Victorian days and even before that, weight represented wealth and health in people. Weight meant you had delicious food on your table, that you were more likely to live through childbirth if you were a woman, and that you were rich. How funny that sometime in the early to mid 20th century Coco Chanel should come along and bring with her a woman’s desire to be skinny and tanned ( for white skin was in before that too). This desire continues into the modern-day although we as a society have begun to fight the love of skinny. For how many of us can actually be so statuesque and thin, for more than possibly our youth and young adulthood?

www.imgur.com
http://www.imgur.com

At the same time, I was always told by my mother and many women that men love curves and that is what they seek in a woman but I think that all depends on the man. I think every man has his ideal woman and the woman who becomes his partner may have those assets or she may look nothing like he thought his ideal mate would look. But while her man may consider her ‘his girl’ and just fantastic the way her body is, all woman tend to be sensitive about their weight at some time or another, even celebrities. Some women think they are too skinny, others think they are not skinny enough, yet others are unhappy about a particular body part such as their stomach, thighs, or arms.

And after thinking about all these ideas I concluded that it was wrong for me to say in my last post that it was a sham to believe that woman should ‘love their bodies’ despite that like me, they may not feel confident about their bodies at times. I think that last post written out of frustration forgot about posts I wrote earlier such as “Love The Skin You’re In” blog.  The reality of life is that people both men and woman, are always going to have physical attributes about themselves that they don’t particularly like, whether they are models or you average woman looking after kids or going to work everyday. But this doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t

www.getpositiverevolution.com
http://www.getpositiverevolution.com

love ourselves anyways. I think it is the fact that we don’t like ourselves some or a lot of the time that leads us to have issues with other people and ourselves such as jealousy, depression, and anxiety. If we took the attitude that ‘this is my body and I’m going to love it anyways no matter what it looks like,’ a lot of us would have more confidence, feel more attractive, and be more attractive to other people because confidence is sexy. Loving yourself is not so much even about whats on the outside of your body but it does concern loving the outside of your body because you are extremely satisfied with yourself on the inside.

Being fat doesn’t make you a bad person and I think sometimes the media — movies, magazines, the internet — lead us to think that if we don’t look a certain way then we are a reprehensible person. But if you think about it in life, some of the people we love the most are our Uncles who are too fat, are Grandma’s who were nice and plump, are Dads who are losing hair, and our friends who have a big nose or large mouth. I even read the other day that ugly people are actually more memorable to us than attractive people. And not that these meaningful people to us are ugly. Instead because they are not perfect they are memorable and to us as children and adults who love them they are perfect in their imperfection. So how then can we consider ourselves unlovable or unimportant because we are not the ideal attractive person?

www.yvettesalva.com
http://www.yvettesalva.com

I have always sought to be a healthy person, especially after being considered chubby as a little kid. This was not because my parents fed me junk food but because kids on my Dad’s side of the family, tended to be chubby. So ever since that point I have tried to maintain a healthiness, though that has recently become difficult in the past few years. I was okay I think until I got past 25 years old and became more than 175 lbs. So, regretfully I settled at 191 lbs and then gratefully back to 181 lbs and now again back to 191 lbs. It is the fact that I am taking all these pills and that they cause weight gain, that I am unable to exercise due to illness, and that dieting is so tough, that I feel unhealthy. I can see it on my body that I am not at a healthy body weight  but that does not mean I should not love that body and love myself even though I know changes need to be made in my lifestyle.

So instead of being helpless and feeling helpless, I think there are things we can do about our body issues to make life more tolerable

www.thescienceofeating.com
http://www.thescienceofeating.com

for us no matter the walls that block us from our goals. We can always try to eat more vegetables, to give up more junk food, and to walk around the block a couple of times or for 15 minutes. We can eat in moderation, and wear clothes that flatter our bodies, and we can remember that the people who love us do not love us for our outward appearance alone but mostly for our insides, for the way we treat them, and for our characters. We can alter ourselves for the better if we love ourselves and know that a few changes will make us healthier. But again, we need to remember that in health does not happiness lie alone.

Sometimes it is easier to see ourselves through the eyes of our loved ones. What really causes me to feel better about my weight is my boyfriend. I may tell him I put on a few pounds but he loves me anyways. He is still enamored of me, he still thinks I’m beautiful. And even though some woman in the car next to us may

www.fiveminutevacations.com
http://www.fiveminutevacations.com

stare at him or he may smile back at some girl who is giving him big eyes, he is always looking at me and asking if I’m okay. His eyes are on me and through him I have learnt to love myself because he is pleased with my hips, my stomach, my mind, and my heart. Sometimes it takes seeing yourself through someone else’s eyes to truly see yourself and that you are valuable just because you are you.

Love the Skin You’re In


Image
http://www.zimbio.com

Physical body image is an issue I believe all women struggle with in one form or another. We all have at least one part of us that we would like to change. We may want our thighs to be thinner, our butt to be smaller, or our breasts to be bigger, or our tummy to be trimmer. Often woman think that if something were different about their body and if they received their ideally thinner thighs for instance, they would be happier and live a better life. In some cases, I think this is true. If you are overweight and make the healthy lifestyle changes such as exercising and eating better to get those thinner thighs I think you will be happier because you will be living a healthier lifestyle and this will affect you positively all around.

However, physical changes that are actually problems with our self-esteem, will only make us happier for a little while. Then, other problems will arise that can make us disgusted with our body image. Suddenly, you may have trimmer thighs but now you really want to weigh as much as you weighed in high school so you become unhappy about your weight, instead of focusing on the goal you did achieve and that you do have trimmer thighs. It can be a sad cycle, improving one part of yourself, only to be disappointed by one of your perceived other flaws later on.

For me, body image has often been a struggle starting from about the time I was in Grade 1. My mother never overfed me, I had little to no junk food, and I had plenty of exercise but I was still a pudgy girl. Boys were especially mean to me at this age calling me fat and bullying me even though I was just a little pudgier than the other kids. By the time grade 6 came around I had lost all my baby fat and now many of the boys liked me. I maintained a weight I was happy with until I finished my Bachelor’s degree.

When I was 23 years old I got my first job as a receptionist and suddenly I was putting on weight due to copious amounts of food around the office. I threw myself into exercising 40 minutes for 3 times a week on the elliptical at very hard pace, and weight lifting an hour along with each of my elliptical sessions, until I suddenly fell ill with depression and lost 25 pounds in a month.

The problem with losing so much weight at one time is you gain it all back and then some. I sky rocketed from 161 lbs. to 191 lbs. over the next 3 years due to medication, inability to exercise, and perhaps, the fact that I was so no longer 23 years old anymore and was naturally putting on weight. I managed last year to lose 10 lbs. on Herbal Magic and even though I have quit the program I have kept the weight off. I never reached my goal weight of 165 lbs. although, it seems that no matter what I do my body sits comfortably around 180 lbs.

For me height 5’6,” my weight is a little heavy even though I have always been about 10 lbs. heavier than what is recommended by doctors for my height. I would dearly love to be thinner so I could buy smaller clothing and have my body look the way my body looked in university. But if I think about it, I have always been unhappy about my weight, it is just one of my hang ups. Even when I had no reason to think I was fat, I was unhappy about my weight and when my weight didn’t bother me something such as the condition of my skin would.

This is my point that we will always find something in or on our bodies to be upset about, to fantasize how happy we would be if we didn’t have that flaw. But the thing is our flaws make us who we are. I may have a bigger tummy now and have gone up to a size 12 from a size 10 in jeans but I know have bigger breasts – this is a plus. Not to mention, I am never stuck in-between sizes as I was often before. I fit a size 12 or a size large and in most stores those are the sizes I am, I never have to guess.

In addition, I have a boyfriend who loves my curves. He liked them when I met him and I was 191 lbs. and he likes them now that I am 181 lbs. He would like them if I got bigger again or if lost weight and got smaller. He is one reason I really have learned to love my body. People have tastes for partners in all shapes and sizes and just like our partners love our bodies we need to learn to love them too, to be self-confident, and self-confidence is sexy. Curvy is in even if most of the woman we see in the media have thinner body types.

There are celebrities that I admire that are in the entertainment business that are bigger than the average Hollywood sized 0, 2, or 4 woman. Sara Ramirez for example, who plays Callie on Grey’s Anatomy, is said to be 160 lbs. She was a size 12 when she began acting on Grey’s Anatomy and I feel very proud when I see her act as she is both talented and weighs a weight the average woman can relate to.

Someone else I really admire is Lizzie Miller, a model who for Glamour magazine posed “jiggly bits and all.” In her picture, you can clearly see a tummy on Lizzie miller who is 5’11” and considered too big to model even for plus size. Yet in 2009, there she was bearing it all, flaws and everything. Lizzie really inspired me and made me think that it was okay that I have a have a tummy too, I always have. Some of us are never going to be model thin and Lizzie personifies beauty in any body weight. Woman are beautiful and worthy to be loved with tummies, thighs, and butts that are considered too big, so are woman who are incredibly thin and wish they had curves, and so are those woman who are somewhere in-between in their body weights. We are all monumentally blessed to be who we are and have the bodies we do have, of this I am certain.  To read a fascinating article on Lizzie Miller you can go to: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1210814/Lizzie-Millers-Glamour-magazine-shoot-How-models-picture-shook-world-flabby-tummy-all.html and read all about Lizzie’s brave model shoot in 2009.