I didn’tunderstand it, we’d been dating a year and Raph never touched me in public. He didn’t mind when I rubbed his back in the mall or if I made the effort to lace my fingers through his. When I first pecked him on the cheek in public he blushed bright red.
I asked him one day why he didn’t touch me in public. In private he couldn’t keep his hands off me. He didn’t mind cuddling at home and he often tangled his hand in my hair or massaged the back of my neck while we watched TV. I adored these touches but didn’t understand why he was afraid to initiate small bits of PDA.
I explained to Raph how it was important to me because it made me feel like I was his, that he loved me, and didn’t care what anyone else thought of us. He was angry at first and confused, but the next day as we grocery shopped he linked his pinky through mine while we waited to pay.
Two days later he casually put his arm around my shoulders at his friend’s house. I snuggled into him kissing him when his buddy went to grab more beer. I linked my pinky with his and smiling, Raph returned the kiss as his friend walked into the living room. I was thrilled Raph understood how much these small touches meant to me.
Thanks to Bikurgirl for hosting One- Hundred – Word Wednesday.
The frost on the grass is a warning; it heralds winter’s time. It’s sunny and bright walking outside in the late morning, yet I can feel the bitter chill of the snow storm approaching, numbing my skin
There’s a distinct bitterness in the air and it tastes like freshly fallen snow that doesn’t melt, but freezes your tongue. It’s a nip of coldness which makes you shiver long after you’re snuggled by the warmth of the fire indoors.
I know by night, the great pines and paved trail will be frozen and covered in cotton mounds. The frost will becomes a blanket of white remaining until spring seeps into the frozen north.
It had been 2 months since Ann had been at work as David’s Assistant or had been David’s girlfriend. It had been 2 months since Ann had found that awful letter that Cameal the receptionist had placed on the park trail for Ann to find and believe that David had written. ” 2 months,” Ann murmured aloud. She rummaged through her purse looking for a particular object.
It was a platinum ring with a pear-shaped diamond from Tiffany’s. She adored this ring. It was the engagement ring David had given her when he had proposed to her all those months ago. Yet she had run from him, afraid to trust him. Afraid of a little receptionist who had seemed to her the ideal young women, the women David should want.
Ann was 33-years-old now and not in her 20’s anymore. She had the tiniest little wrinkles appearing around her eyes from squinting and smiling. Her skin did not quite hold that youthful and baby-faced glow that those in their 20’s had. But she wasn’t old. Far from it her life was just beginning.
After leaving David, Ann had needed time to think. So she had taken her vacation time, 6 weeks plus two weeks from the year before and David had not objected. She had taken off and done what she had always wanted to do as a 20 something. She had gone to Europe and visited France, Germany, and Britain.
She had seen so many beautiful Cathedrals, places where you could feel God’s spirit and the spirit’s of the Saints, humming in the air in a peaceful reverent tune. She had been shopping at too many expensive boutiques in Paris and all over France. She was a well paid Executive Assistant and she had saved her money for so long a little shopping didn’t hurt. Not a few Louboutin shoes, Dior Dresses, and some lingerie that David would love to see her in, that she felt terrific in — La Perla and some brands she did not know.
Ann planned to go back to David but she had just needed time to think about their relationship, about their future. She didn’t want to wait long to get married with girl’s like Cameal in the world ready to spoil one’s plans. Ann didn’t care what her and David did as long as a few close friends and family were at the wedding. Ann also wanted a dog and sometime soon, little one’s to play with the dog. She had such big dreams.
She stepped off her flight out of EIA into Edmonton, into the cold Alberta winter. Ann wondered if everything would be okay. Crossing her fingers she drove home, not to her condo, but her and David’s home. She dropped most of her luggage at the door and grabbed her purse and her carry on and went up the stairs only to find that at 5 am David was gone, probably already at work. She wasn’t sure if she should stay but Ann didn’t really have much of a choice as she hadn’t slept in hours. She slipped her ring on her hand and fell asleep a top the covers of the bed. She hoped David was okay.
David massaged the temples of his head and ran his fingers through his short dark brown hair. He was one of the partner’s at the law firm he worked at. He owned part of the company and he missed his Assistant like crazy. Where was Ann now, he wondered? She had emailed him now and then with little pictures of her doing things in Europe, with a croissant, below the Eiffel Tower, By Buckingham Palace, at some church somewhere in Germany.
2 months were such a long time for Ann to be gone away from him. and away as his Assistant. Ann’s filler at work was so slow and all over the place. She was no Ann. He was getting behind at work and to top it all off that little whore Cameal had accused him of sexual harassment that day she had chased Ann from his home.
David loved Ann. There was no question when it came to her and Cameal that there was no competition. Cameal was some immature girl. He had explained so much to HR and and it had been tough to convince Blanche the head of HR that he hadn’t done anything to Cameal except place the letter she had written to Ann in her inbox to show her he knew what she was up to. Blanche had sympathized with David and said Cameal had been getting complaints left and right about her work. She had been a good worker but now she just seemed to flout everyone except David. Blanche found it curious that she would all of a sudden turn on David.
David had told Blanche everything that had happened between him, Cameal, and Ann. Blanche knew of course that David had a relationship with Ann and there were no rules against office romances but HR liked to be informed if it was serious. He was set to get a new Assistant anyways, and Ann would move up in the office after they got married. If they got married? Was that possible still?
Blanche assured David that Cameal had crossed many boundaries with different men at work and that she would be ‘taken care of immediately’. David was not in trouble, Cameal was no longer a threat, and David figured he would take the day off and go home and sleep. He hadn’t slept much since the harassment accusation and the last picture Ann sent, a smile on her face, as she took a selfie on the flight home. Maybe she came to my place, our place, he thought, hopefully.
Ann awoke to kisses on her neck and face. She stretched and smiled even though she knew she looked bad, makeup all smeared, and jet lag showing under her eyes. She moved her head back to receive more kisses. She dreamt it was David and he smelt so good, citrusey and woodsy like his cologne. She moved her hand up in this dream to stroke David’s cheek and felt the stubble there, moved her hand up further felt his soft hair and then the frame of his glasses. He must be tired, she thought, he never wears glasses.
She didn’t protest as dream David slid her out of her jacket and shoes and under the covers of the bed and perhaps it was then when she was snuggled beside him that she felt for real this time, his breath on her neck and continued little kisses.
“Your back Ann” David rasped “your really hear, for good?” he wondered aloud. She turned around and opened her eyes so she could see David. Between her thick lashes she saw his dear face and began to trace it with her fingers, “for good” she whispered. And they both slept the sleep of the dead that day, David’s finger tracing the platinum band of Ann’s ring as he fell asleep.
Cameal was in tears. Life wasn’t fair. She was fired. HR had not believed her harassment claim about David calling it bogus and insulting to David who had been very kind to Cameal given the circumstances. She had received 6 months severance and been told to pack up her things at her desk. She did this as she wept and regretted having ever met David or that ugly Ann. Fine. Go ahead be with her David, she thought. You two deserve each other. And they did.
It it the brightest sunniest morning I can remember seeing in a long time. Snow sits lightly on the trees sparkling in the sunshine and the ground is about 5 inches deep with snow. It is cold outside, but not that cold for November in Edmonton and I can feel the burn of the wind against my cheek as I step outside to let my dog out and then wait for her by the door while she does her business.
Later, she is snuggled up to me on the couch, an old dilapidated couch that we’ve waited months for the new replacement to arrive, but it hasn’t arrived yet. Nikki and my knitted blanket make me feel so cozy on the love seat and Nikki refused for a good 10 minutes to let me stop petting her. She is now what we call “tits up” turned into my legs on the seat of the couch and I am sitting here thinking that I just feel the urge to write but I’m not exactly sure what will develop out of my blog today.
I’m having a great day so far. I awoke with energy and slept enough and I was not too tired that I had to go back to bed like some mornings. The sunshine makes the biggest difference. It just hi-lights everything it touches and the sky is the deepest bright country blue I have ever seen. And there are no expectations on me today. I just have the opportunity to write to you, my readers, do some exercise, and if I wish, sort through some of the clothing in my taller dresser.
At the moment I am watching TV, talk shows: Marilyn Denise, Kelly & Michael, followed by The View. It is interesting to learn about the actors behind the movies and TV shows I have watched the night before and the week before. My new favorite show on Sunday’s is Betrayal.
It’s about a 2 people, a man who works for a mob boss and is married to the mob bosses daughter and has 2 teenage kids, and a woman who is married to a public attorney with a little boy. The man and the woman meet at a party one night and subsequently start running into each other and end up having an affair. They love each other, but they also love their spouses and don’t know how their situation will ever work out. The man is a lawyer for the mob boss and was raised by him when his family was killed in a construction accident at one of the mob bosses sites. He was best friends with the mob bosses son TJ who is mentally disabled after a car accident.
TJ ends up accused of his Uncles murder after he is the last person seen with him. But the woman’s husband, the public attorney, even though he is pretty sure TJ did not murder his uncle, uses the event to go after the mob boss and his family and the man (Jack) is the mob bosses head guy at his business. There is a big competition going on between the lady’s public attorney husband and Jack and at the end of the last show he just figured out that his wife is having an affair, and with Jack, his nemesis. I love it.
My other favorite show is Scandal by Shawnda Rimes but if you are looking for some other excellent TV shows Grey’s Anatomy, TheVampireDiaries, The Blacklist, Chicago Fire, Once Upon a Time, Revenge, and Grimm are also excellent shows. But I used to never watch TV besides a couple of programs and some Oiler’s games. Now it seems since I require so much time to rest that I have lots of time to watch TV. I also read, but I also used to do that a ton more then I ever watched TV. Now I read, but I cannot do it for as long as I could read before so I guess I watch TV more instead.
Otherwise, my boyfriend is up in Edmonton this week and I am really looking forward to seeing him so much. It has only been one week because he had a neck injury a week ago, since I have seen him. He is fine now but it’s a treat to see him again so soon.
I am anxious about our future now that we have charted a course for our relationship. Inside I wonder if maybe I am walking into something without checking out my other options first. But then I think I’ve got the best of all options right here. But I still can’t help thinking that I don’t know what else is out there because this my first real relationship. But then for about 10 years before that, all I found was the odd date or two with some mostly weird guys, A couple of times I found a connection between some guy but often some guy just wanted to mess around with my head.
My boyfriend doesn’t do that to me. We fit, so when I have second thoughts I remember that, the happiness he brings me, and I think there is no one else better out there than my man. But we have challenges ahead and those are what scare me. Every couple does but our challenges are unique across religion and culture. And I would really love it if he could just get along with my mom, dad, and brothers well. He has barely met them so that would really ease a lot of the feelings I am having if that could happen.
Also, embarking on a second stage in my health crusade, to find the physical reason why I have no energy and other symptoms gives me some sort of hope. And I believe I can be a healthier girlfriend and healthier person just so I can be more involved in my life and give more back to the world. My doctors appointment is the following week after this week for that and I am really hoping I have something such as hypothyroidism that we have just missed before and not Chronic Fatigue. It would be so much more hopeful if there is a way I can start to get better from a lack of energy. But if constant fatigue is what I must expect most of my life than I guess at least I know what I have. Anyways, I don’t want to write about too much health related stuff today. I think I maybe say too much about it.
Otherwise, I can’t wait to get paid, I have almost all my Christmas presents picked out to order. I have found some nice things at The Bay, Sephora, Anthropologie (for me), and I will have to pick something for Azdine maybe with him this weekend. Besides a visit to my favorite store DeVine Wines, then I should be done. I think since I bought a bunch of gift bags and Christmas cards last year I should be even pretty good for those. Well, maybe a few gift bags, tissue paper, and cards and I’ll be good.
Anyways, that’s what’s up. Sorry not too interesting I guess. But I can ramble on a long time no?