Fiction: She’s Just Not That Into You #wordhighjuly #fiction #oblivious #silakbo

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http://www.dragasroua.com

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“F’ing loser back off, leave me alone.” Melonie shouted at Will.

“I want to take you on a date and after . . .” 

“You don’t get it! Over and over I’ve been through this with you. If when we first met, you wanted to date me and see where things go it would have been one thing. But now I know your motives, you would expect me to sleep with you after our initial date because you wined and dined me.” 

“Come on you’ll like it Melonie. A lot of girls enjoy sleeping with me. You’ll like it too. I have skills…” Will said slyly.

Melonie huffed, letting out a breathe of pent up air. “I don’t want to hear about all the girls you’ve slept with you man whore. I told you, I’m not interested in dating you because you only want me for sex. Not to mention, I’m really not into relationships right now with you, so you can’t win. I don’t like you that way Will.”

“You’re such a loser. You’re missing out. Maybe you should go back to your ex.” 

“Call me what you want. I’m into guys I’ve developed a relationship with, who have made an effort to get to know me. I don’t do one night stands such as some chicks. I don’t do casual sex whenever you feel like it.”

“I’m in a good place in life and I want you to leave me alone. Stop bothering me, go find one of those chicks that love to sleep with you. My ex is out of the picture, I don’t want him back because I won’t sleep with you.” Melonie said expressively.

“I don’t get you,” Will said rubbing his chin.

“I’ve told you this over and over. Can I spell it out IM NOT INTERESTED in being with you at all.”

“Um, your obviously worked up right now. I’m going to let you calm down. Sleep with me, you’ll like it. I’ll be good to you. Think about it.” 

Melonie sighed rubbing her temples. “Will, don’t contact me anymore. Stay away.”

“No worries, we’ll work it out some other time Mel.” 

“Will . . .” 

The word came to Melonie then, silkabo. A word her Filipino friend said meant an emotional outburst. Melonie was frustrated and realized she had been shouting at Will, but she truly felt the situation warranted her outburst. 

What was the Filipino phrase for not seeing the ‘writings on the wall?’ Will couldn’t see the truth about him and Melonie if it smacked him in the face; he was oblivious.

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©Mandibelle16. (2016) All Rights Reserved.

Poem: “A Lack of Fear.”

Prompt: How would your life be different if you were incapable of feeling fear? Would your life be better or worse than it is now?

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If I never felt fear, so many things would be different. I would have stood up to the girls in high school that were being mean to me.

I would have yelled at the boys in elementary school who called me fat and I would’ve kicked every single one of them so they didn’t call me that word again.

If I wasn’t afraid I would’ve kissed Robert who I liked and spent a trip to a Mexican Orphanage and San Diego when we were seated on the bench at the zoo. I wouldn’t have cared if my Dad had seen. I would’ve kissed fearlessly.

If I wasn’t afraid I would’ve gone home with a guy named John in university; I would have stayed at the bar even though I had a headache; I would have spent the night with him. He was handsome and smart.

If I wasn’t afraid I would have told the first guy I loved exactly what I thought of him. To act like he liked me, to abuse the fact he knew I was in love with him, but to be bored when I talked to him. To not try enough for me. For that I would have yelled at him and asked him at the beginning of third year what his problem was.

If I had no fear, I would have forgotten sooner then I did. I wouldn’t be afraid seeing all those posts with his latest girlfriend accidentally, how much she loves him and the time they spend together. I wouldn’t be jealous because I could never be the one; I will never be his girl. I wouldn’t be sad on their wedding day if I had no fear.

If I was fearless, I wouldn’t have gone to work that day I knew I shouldn’t have gone. The day I feel to pieces at the office because my Dad told me I had to go. I would’ve stayed home and no one would have ever known what I mess I was at the end of that year.

If I had no fear, when I see  ‘I’ in the mall I would confidently go up to him and talk to him when I see him. I wouldn’t be afraid that because last time I saw him I was crying and confused. I would say hello, let him look at what he missed.

If I had no fear I wouldn’t have been afraid when I got sick. I wouldn’t have thought much when I thought I heard people saying bad things about me. I wouldn’t have cared. I wouldn’t have cared that each drug I took made me feel bad.

If I was fearless, I wouldn’t be afraid of tomorrow. That I will get worse again and have an episode or that I will always be chronically fatigued. I wouldn’t fear the future at all. I would trust that everything would work out.

If I wasn’t afraid, I would go out with dates with a lot of guys even though I have a lot of problems. I would sleep with whoever I am attracted to and I wouldn’t care if that was all he wanted or I wanted. I would be like many guys and turn off that part of my brain that cares.

If I had no fear I would travel the world alone. No matter I could only do it half day at a time but I would go and by myself. I wouldn’t care that my parents would be scared or that I was scared inside. Especially when my energy ran out in some place behind the old Iron Curtain.

If I wasn’t afraid I could do so many things. But you see, we have fear for a reason. And even though some of our fears are not reasonable, we made the choices we made and they cannot be undone.

I chose to act how I did in every situation, even when I was in the wrong. But I had fear because it made me think, that somethings aren’t a good idea. Because I have fear I have morals. And I think many things through.

Fear is a good thing in small doses. Or else, I would be skydiving right now.

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©Mandibelle16. All Rights Reserved.