I wanted to write about a topic I’ve written on before but it seems to receive a welcome response every single time I write about it. The topic is being satisfied with our bodies and maybe even more than that, who we are as a person.
Recently, I avoided running into someone I knew who made the comment that I was 30 lbs heavier than the last time they saw me (university I think) and that even though I was still pretty I didn’t look very good. I thought this was a completely rude comment to make especially as you were walking right past me and come on, did you actually think I wouldn’t recognize you? And to be fair you weren’t so thin yourself mister, but that’s not what I’m here to do, make those types of comments, because making those comments would lower me to his level.
I could go onto explain to you (and him) how psychiatric medications put a great deal of weight
on a person either by increasing your appetite or I have found in my case, simply by taking these pills. I could say that I have Chronic Fatigue and that it’s extremely hard for me to put the energy into exercising I need to lose weight. I could tell you how carefully I eat at home and how I have tried programs such as herbal magic and tried all kinds of herbs to aid me in keeping my weight down. I could tell you that the most current thing I am trying is something called Plexus. I haven’t had the opportunity to try it for a full month even because I have had other health issues though. And I could tell you even though I try these diet supplements, medications work against me to hold the weight on my body and that for all the medications I’ve tried I’m actually doing well.
I could say all those things but the truth of the matter is it doesn’t matter why I put weight on, I simply did, and I put enough pressure comparing myself (when I go shopping with someone who is a small size) dealing with the fact that I’m a size 12 or 14 and a size L in the top while a friend is a size XS and fitting into size 26 jeans.
It’s not her fault she is small she was born this way, tiny; but I find that there is a certain distance between two people when one of you barely fits the sizes that are available because you are too small, while the other of you barely fits the sizes that are available because you are too big — you don’t quite get each other when you shop or shop the same way. But then I see other women who are taller and bigger than I and I wonder what size do they fit? Or is for them only fitting into clothing at stores such as Additionelle and/or Ricki’s, what they do, when the rest of us have the utmost variety on most items of clothing. This scares me, that I could become one of these people next time I try new medication.
What I am trying to say is that I think the fashion industry has to have some mercy on the average
sized women who is a size 12 to 16 and give her and those who are larger than her more variety to wear and show more models that are not 16 or 17-years-old and not fully developed. Some of us have just reasons for not being able to be a smaller size whether it was because we are women who had kids, have health problems, or were simply born bigger. Slowly, we are getting there, but too slowly I think, if a trip to the mall into all the stores that I like, makes me feel like I am large and don’t belong there. The same must go for extremely tiny women, where do they shop? How do they feel when the emphasis in fashion currently is to be a “curvy” 4,6, or 8. And do those who design stores do something to the mirrors at the mall because I swear I look fatter there, then in any of the mirrors I have at home?
My point is, as before, we should love our bodies and be happy with them, however, they are. And we should not be ashamed of them because other people can’t keep their opinions in to themselves or because we are comparing ourselves to someone who is smaller or bigger than us. Yet still, we are people who are conditioned to think a certain way and that is bigger = bad and thinner = good so I think we need to be reconditioned so that just like we don’t judge people on ethnicity in Canada we don’t judge people on the size of their bodies; rather, we leave it up to the person to love and manage their own body and we be supportive of them in all stages of their body, in all weights and sizes. We can’t be anyone else other than who we are at this moment! So don’t expect us to be someone else –let us be comfortable and unique — let us be whoever we are in whatever size we are.