Three Line Tales: Quotes Inked #GooodReads #Quotes #3LineTales 


Thank you to Sonya of Only 100 Words for hosting 3LineTales.

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Alex Hockett

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1. “A tattoo is a true poetic creation, and is always more than meets the eye. As a tattoo is grounded on living skin, so its essence emotes a poignancy unique to the mortal human condition.” V. Vale, Modern Primitives: An Investigation of Contemporary Adornment and Ritual

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2. “Tattooing, when understood in its entirety, must be seen as a religious act. The human being brings forth images from the center of the self and communicates them to the world. Fantasy is embodied in reality and the person is made whole.” Spider Webb. 

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3. ” Our bodies were printed as blank pages to be filled with the ink of our hearts” ― Michael Biondi

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My apologies. A busy week again. But hopefully, you like the quotes I found on GooodReads.

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©Mandibelle16.(2016) All Rights Reserved. 

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A List of People, Living or Dead, I’d Like to Meet


Thank you to La Duchesse D’erat for her prompt for a list this week.

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1. My Grandpa Eifert – My Grandpa died on my fourteenth Birthday. He had been in hospital quite a few weeks and they were preparing to move him into a senior’s home for assisted living. He smoked a lot when he was younger and didn’t stop until his fifties. By then, it was almost too late. On the Eifert side of the family, there are ‘bad lungs’ so it’s especially stupid to smoke but when my Grandpa started most everyone smoked. 

He had emphysema from smoking and that early July 16th morning he died, the nurses said Grandpa’s heart had been working at a pace of someone running for twenty-years.

I miss Grandpa a lot. I talk to him sometimes. I don’t know if he hears me. But I wish we could play a game of chess or I could share with him a good book I’ve read. I would like to be with him for even an hour, and we wouldn’t have to say anything. Only, being with him again would be enough.

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2. John Donne – He is simply one of the greatest and best poets whoever lived. Maybe, that’s debatable but his poetry is so vivid, full of imagery, and he seems like he was a genuine person. I liked his poetry, how in his youth his poems are about his lady friends and he grows up and eventually becomes a Cleric in the Anglican Church. I would love to discuss his poetry with him and his thoughts on the time. He was a Renaissance man, and the relationship he has with his wife, is one I would like to have with a guy someday. Check-out some of his poems I love below:

– A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning

Love’s Alchemy

– Song: Go And Catch A Falling Star

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3. William Shakespeare – How could you not want to meet Shakespeare? The author of so many wonderful plays that even today we still have performed, laugh and cry over. We love his comedies, his tragedies, and even if we must his historical plays. One of my favourite activities to do in June and July is to go to Hawerlack Park with my friends and see Shakespeare’s plays performed. You can grab an ice cream or some of our famous Alley Kat local beer and watch the show from the amphitheatre outside. I would have so many questions about Shakespeare’s plays, why he did this and that. What was his most prized work? And yes, you can read Shakespeare, it only takes practice. Rearrange his lines as you read them, they often make more sense. Here are a couple of my favourite plays below: 

– Anthony and Cleopatra
– A Mid Summer Night’s Dream

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4. My Mom on her Wedding Day – Yes, Mom is fine. Nothing happened. But I have always wondered what she was like before she had kids. She sewed her own wedding dress, and she was so pretty in it. She was so young and skinny. I would have liked to know her then. To know what her dreams and aspirations were. I would like to know what made her choose to marry my Dad ( he’s a great guy, I’m just curious). I would like to know how she felt at thirty with three young children and how she did it. It would be educational I think and interesting.

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5. I would like to meet a whole bunch of actors, to know what they dream of, what they value, to understand why they work how they work, before they are huger stars then they already are. Or, if they are big stars, I’d like to hear their stories about their lives. I would like to meet Jennifer Lawrence, Jamie Dornan, Dakota Johnson, Theo James, Orlando Bloom, Nina Dobrev, Kerry Washington, Patrick Dempsey, Kiera Knightley, George Clooney, Ian Somerhaulder, Hugh Jackmen, Michelle Pfeiffer, and Meryl Streep. 

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©Mandibelle16. All Rights Reserved.

Poem: “The Good.”


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A personal matter, what you believe,

What is the fire in your furnace,

And why keep it a secret, if you think you’re right.

Perhaps, you’re afraid that you think the wrong thoughts.

Perhaps, you’re prejudiced and say the wrong words.

Maybe you talk, about that which you don’t understand.

Maybe, you don’t really know what you believe.

It’s okay, but you shouldn’t be ashamed.

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Where does the good go? It isn’t for reward,

It’s because you believe in a God who is the word ‘good.’

People aren’t good, don’t you see the news?

Sin and badness is within us — from Adam innate.

Even when we try, the good isn’t always good.

It’s hard to explain, but I won’t keep quiet,

Why should I keep my faith locked up, when others could benefit? 

Good deeds have no reward, but they make you feel good.

They are needed in a world where many things are wrong.

And are to be done because it is for the moral good to do.

Also because it was commanded by God to be good neighbours.

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You may not believe in a heaven.

Good deeds won’t get you there, but faith could be the cure.

Didn’t you ever wonder where the good came from,

Don’t twist what is truly good, evil is simply good twisted.

Don’t tell me faith is personal and should be hidden.

That’s like being caught in the darkest deepest blackest hole,

And having a candle that could light the way out,

But never lighting it because that candle is ‘personally yours,’

Someone else might find your light, and benefit from its glow,

I share my faith, because my light could lead others home.

So, where is your light, when your candle isn’t lit.

You’ll never find your way out of prison walking in black pitch.

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©Mandibelle16. All Rights Reserved.

Letting Him Get Away.


It was along time before I had my first ‘real’ relationship. I went on Plenty Of a Fish, because my friend had met her husband on that site. My ex-boyfriend,  was not like the other men I talked to. He didn’t ask me what my job was or about sex. He asked me about my religion. He was Muslim and wanted to date a nice girl with morals, ethics, and who was close to her family. I was reluctant to date him because my ex’s religion is Islam and I grew up with Christianity. But I had never dated anyone longterm before. My ex-boyfriend was attractive and fun so I began dating him. 

My ex worked up North, where all the people who worked in the oil field, lived in camps. My ex worked three weeks on and one week off. I saw him once a week when he was home My ex was accepting of my condition. He didn’t mind that I lived with a mental illness which caused me fatigue and limited how long I could be out with him. He was quiet to begin with but later he opened up to me.

Our relationship functioned for awhile. My health improved so we were going out three times a week when he was here. Often, my ex would take an extra week off. My ex was gentle and he listened well. He gave good advice. But there were some issues in our relationship that became apparent.

The biggest issue was my ex staying in contact while working up North. Eventually, we were texting once or twice a day and I would call him every couple of weeks. It took three years to get to this point and a lot of hardwork on my end. When my ex was home we were together a lot. But I had to be diligent about making ‘talking’ and ‘getting to know each other better’ happen. 

My ex would also come back from work and go on a trip without telling me where he was going. Suddenly, there was no way for me to talk to him, sometimes for two-weeks. I learned he was seeing friends or had gone off on a road trip for awhile with his cousin. At first, I worried a great deal when all communication was cut-off. I often thought early on, he had decided not see me anymore. He accused me of seeing other guys in the beginning.

Ramadan was an extremely difficult time for our relationship. For the first couple of years we were together, my ex went to Saskatchewan to do his fasting with friends. Almost the entirety of June and July would pass and I barely was able talk or contact my ex because the cell reception wasn’t good. He was scarcely able to use Internet and he never tried to phone me. Although, I attempted to phone him. 

It was along time before my ex talked to me during Ramadan and an even longer time before he would go out with me in the daytime. Males can’t touch a woman they’re not married to during Ramadan before sunset. Muslims also spend a great deal of time reading the Quran in the day. I had no problem with my ex practising his faith during Ramadan, it was the fact he barely paid attention to me. Later, when my health became worse it was a challenge to see him at night anytime before 11:00 pm. It also took my ex an eternity to meet my family. He was scared of my Dad. He met my Mom a couple of times but not my Dad until the fourth year we were dating. 

The issue that finished us was me. I didn’t find the relationship to be fulfilling, I never felt secure. When I didn’t hear from him for awhile or he wouldn’t listen to me, I would break up with him because I couldn’t handle it. I broke up four more times with my ex because I felt he was ignoring me and he wasn’t giving time to our relationship. I didn’t hear anything from him for a month one time. He wanted to get married but he valued all the activities he wanted to do above his time with me. My family is also special to me and so was my ex becoming apart of my family, which he never attempted.

I went the last nine months without breaking up with him. He wanted to get married. I went to a friend’s wedding at her church. She was walked down the aisle by her Dad and her husband and she made their vows before God. 

At this point, I knew something was wrong with my ex’s and my relationship big time. I wanted to be like my friend and walk down the church aisle when I married. I believed in a Jesus who wasn’t merely a prophet but God’s Son. If I ever had kids, I wanted them brought up with The Bible and Jesus’ promise of salvation.

My ex hadn’t even told his Muslim family back home about me, even though Muslims are allowed to marry Christian girls. I knew his cousin because he lived with him and had been introduced to the odd friend of my ex’s at the bar. But after four years, I had no idea who most of his good friends were. Some of our problems were due to my health. I became worse for awhile and it became too much to date him often because he usually wanted to get together at night. 

Mostly, I needed a fresh start. I needed to develop myself as a person on my own. I needed freedom. It was hard letting go of my ex but the religion issue finally pushed me over the edge. My family is extremely Christian and I couldn’t deal with relatives who didn’t think our relationship was right, when I wasn’t into my ex anymore. I wanted a guy who involved himself in my family, friends, and life — who could relate to my lifestyle.

I’m busy in my single life. My ex was a good boyfriend but he was not the guy for me. In a relationship, when it is the right relationship, you want to be with the other person exceedingly. You want to be with the other person so much because you love them and can work together to build a life sharing similar values. I wanted freedom and a chance to see what the world outside of “us” offered; for this reason my ex is my ex.

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©Mandibelle16. All Rights Reserved. 

Poem: Hallowed Faith 


How do you let your children out, while spirits whirl the earth; the forlorne dead they swirl out and surround your younglings softly.

Do their cute costumes scare the vapour away, while they beg for candy? Or, do the undead reach out for them because they know vulnerability.

I pray that if the door creaks extra loud in your dark basement you won’t think ill of all dejected presences. For where there is bad, there is always good and good is always stronger.

Don’t fear for the little ones on the streets, or in the shopping malls; pray and provide for the little ones who have had nothing to eat and can’t afford clothing (never mind, a costume.)

In the dark cementaries, the dead abide, but I think the soft murmers you hear are stirrings of your heart, for loved ones lost, holes inside you that will live while you do.

Though evil and horror exists, it’s found surface in people — the terrible demons in history. Look at the cross, don’t let evil win, and forget about the spirits dreaming. 

Your happy loved ones who had faith, they went to heaven and their timeless paradise; they feel no pain, they are not moaning for you. They know you’ll come home soon — to them your life is seconds. 

So, while spirits may tremble at the evil that walks, it’s because he is real but he hasn’t a shot, at your dear ones who have learned their prayers, and know what is right. 

Children laugh at the figments of imagination that inspire a hallowed time of year; where candies mean more then the wandering spirits; and scary movies are fun, if you know there not real. 

And while the zombies assemble, you watch the Simpson’s Halloween 2015. And your son or daughter will have M&M’s and Kitkats and you’ll take all their Reese’s Pieces –because they could have peanut allergies, you say.

Poem: Spaces


I find God in the spaces we leave inbetween,

In the impact of a heart beating,

In a walk to the bus, while the leaves are gently streaming

I find Him in versus of poets long ago — in Tennyson and Donne.

And even poets who never liked Him.

I find God in the people who do kind things,

Just to be kind, not because they want a favour.

And I find Him in a leather book, that “in the beginning was the Word,”

A disciple John once wrote.

And I find him in a strangers wonder, a pivotal question, that needs answering. 

And I find Him in a past that’s frought with pain, and suffering, and time lost.

I find him every Christmas in a stable, while wiseman followed a star.

I find him in a memory of a pet who helped me through rough times.

I find him in the pain of a moment, because I know He experienced suffering too.

And I find Him as a friend battles cancer, and she is the one doing the uplifting.

I find God, when I’m so frustrated I cry, because then I can see clearly. 

I find Him in a the wiseness of the elderly, a great – grandmother who said “stop worrying.”

I find God in the moments of silence, when everything is still, and I can only be still.

God is in front of you, but he’s also in those tight spaces, 

Where you’d never even think to look.

He is there, and He is just waiting, because time is nothing to Him.

He waits and He acts in every place.

A Tale of Best and Worst Times


Prompt:

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times” – Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

When was the last time this quote accurately described your life?

It’s hard to pinpoint exactly when this statement was true for me. There are a few times in my life when I could describe times as being both the best and worst but I believe the most recent time has been the last six years of my life as a whole.

These six years have been the worst of times because I have been battling with a depressive mood disorder and likely Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. The way these diseases have limited my life seem unbelievable to me. I had to give up driving because I cannot pay attention very well and do not have the reflexes I once did. Someday I hope I can just drive to the grocery store or Shoppers Drug Mart and back but that someday isn’t right now.

I use to be an extremely social person and was very close to my friends. Now I feel because of my disease that gap has widened. Partly because I can attend so few events. Night is a difficult time for me so I often can’t go out that late and transportation and money are always an issue because I often do not have money to take a cab both ways or to bus because of energy. I can bus one way in the day usually but I’m just less alert and more fatigued during the night.

Chronic fatigue has also made it impossible for me to exercise at a level where I can lose weight put on from medications and inactivity. I love exercise, I have for a very long time but my body wears out quickly even during 20 minutes of yoga and cardio usually just makes me sick to my stomach and completely wears me out for the rest of the day, especially lately. It is a symptom of CF Syndrome.

Another big issue is that I can usually only concentrate for a couple hours at a time and when I go out I use to be able to do about 4-5 hours but now 3 is all I can handle. Then I go home so exhausted I have to crawl into bed and just sleep for hours, sometimes days. I have malais, which means after a big activity I require often a day or two of recovery time.

Those are the worst of times for me but despite my illness there have been some good times as well. There have been vacations with my Mom and Dad and/or brother to Las Vegas, Anaheim, Phoenix, and Montreal. All of which, despite becoming exhausted by mid-afternoon I have enjoyed so much and have fought to rest up in time at night for dinner and shows.

I have found out who my real friends are because they are the one’s who have stuck by me through thick and through thin. They were there to visit me in the hospital when I was first sick and they are here now with a ride, to share some coffee or wine with, and to invite me out and hang out when we have the time in our busy lives. They understand I need time to rest and cannot make it to every event and they can tell when I have had enough when I’m out with them.

I met my boyfriend A through a dating website called Plenty of Fish. Our first date we went for coffee at the 2nd Cup and went to the movie 21 Jump Street downtown. He has been my guy since and despite the fact we fight and get really mad at each other at times we have been together over three years. At first I was too sick for the first three years of my illness to consider boyfriends but when the time came that I was interested in guys again, he was there.

I have become so much closer to my family both my parents and brothers, and my grandparents, godparents, and extended family. I have learnt that I can rely on them and that we can take care of each other. I have rediscovered religion and the place that has in my life. My illness began with a psychotic episode in which I was so afraid I was separated from God and experiencing Hell. So, I’m grateful to be able to say I truly believe in God and his son Jesus and have no desire to be a part from them but to share them with others who want that. I have learnt not to be so selfish but to talk to others whether they are strangers who just need a smile or friends who I have not seen in ages.

This is why the past 6 years have been the best years of my life. And I think If I’m truthful, the best of times would not be the best without having those bad times.

On Religion, Costco, and Misspoken Idiots!


If you haven’t heard in the news, Costco got into a bit of trouble lately when they classified the Bible as “fiction” in their book

www.belenheim.com
http://www.belenheim.com

section. I was quite offended when my friend posted this article, not by Costco, but by the comments of people who said The Bible belonged there and that Christianity was a joke. These people made no attempt to think and put themselves in a believing Christian person’s shoes, to wonder why some people would be offended by Costco’s actions. What’s more they were extremely discriminatory of Christian beliefs and religion saying the Bible should be put next to coloring books and that it would be more offensive if the Bible was put in the non-fiction section. It was their prejudice and discrimination that really made me angry.

In this day in age, when it is offensive and politically incorrect to make comments about gay people, about the Muslim religion, and secularism, when you have to watch what you say publicly about anyone’s belief system, those comments just seemed incredibly uneducated and rude. I always grew up believing that when I dealt with people I was to put myself in their place, as Atticus taught into ‘To Kill a Mockingbird.’ Obviously, a lot of people never heard of this way of behaving, are too selfish to empathize with other people, and/or never read the book.

The Bible has existed in some form since the time of Moses, these so-called ‘stories’ have historical precedent and have been proven by many archaeologists and writer’s from around the time of Jesus’ death (for example). Historians such as Josephus and many more have matched up events going on in the time of the Romans with the events of the Bible. Through wars and through many times of discontent, the Bible has survived into modern times and it is the basis of Christianity because it is the inspired word of God to Christian’s around the world.

Now most people who are being reasonable are just going to say Costco made a stupid mistake no biggie. But some people if you really believe that the Bible is God’s word, you can see why they would be offended by having the Bible categorized as fictional. It was an ‘accidental’ judgement on the Christian religion by Costco, on my Christian religion, to assume the Bible is fictional. But I know people are imperfect and make mistakes so I think, no problem, Costco just should have classified it in a religion section. People shouldn’t get so upset at Costco, but it is pertinent that you understand why they would.

Secondly, for the people who do not understand Christianity and view the Bible as a coloring book or worse. Have you bothered to do any research into the Bible, even if you grew up with it, into different denominations then what you grew up with? For instance, Catholic beliefs are quite different from my own Lutheran beliefs. What we do agree on is that Jesus died on the cross to save people from their sins. Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water. Just because you believe some of a particular faith is wrong, and you maybe right, does not mean every part is wrong. But in general, I just don’t think you should be discriminating against any one’s beliefs whatever their denomination or faith.

images (12)You shouldn’t discriminate against Muslim’s, Atheists, Secularists, or any denomination of Christianity. Nobody has that right. But people are sure quick to abuse religion, like it is something being forced upon them. Everyone has the choice to believe whatever they want and if you don’t want to be a Christian that is your choice. But it is not your choice to make judgments about a religion you are against or uneducated in. It is not your choice to make a judgement on people who believe that the Bible is non-fiction. You believe whatever you want but leave my religion alone. I am sensitive about your lack of belief so be sensitive to my insistence that my religion is true. I am empathize with other beliefs too. My boyfriend for example, is Muslim for heaven’s sake, and I don’t judge him even though I am a Christian.  So, is it so hard for you to show me the same courtesy?

In closing I have this to say: leave your discrimination and hate outside the topic of religion and personal beliefs because you are being offensive and being prejudiced and in this day and age that is not acceptable. I have the right to believe what I want, it’s called freedom of religion, and if you don’t agree show some manners and just keep your mouth shut, especially on public forums such as Facebook.

Going Backwards


wwspot.com.neurocritic.blog
wwspot.com.neurocritic.blog

Permanent illness is not an easy sickness to live with. With my depression, I have always expected myself to reach a certain point in my healing and then to remain there, being able to know what I can expect my body to handle each day. I gave myself a 5 year plan from the time I first got sick, that in 5 years I would be at level of healthiness where I could be independent enough on my own and at least have my Interior Decorator’s Certificate completed. I wanted a lot more than that but some things I have come to realize are not realistic goals. But my problem lately has been that even my 5 year goals that I did consider realistic are not realistic; I have instead regressed.

Regression is not something that was part of my ‘Get Better’ plan. I know in November I get a little bit worse due to SAD and basically the low amount of light in the winter sky but I was still well enough that I could attend class and go places without becoming too tired. But already this summer and perhaps even since I’ve been taking classes in Spring, I’ve been regressing.

It started with me missing about 7 of my 13 CAD classes due to the fact that I was too tired or too sick to go. It continued with a summer where I spent a great deal of time sleeping and on the couch. I spent less time having the energy to do all the activities I wanted to do with my friends, my articles were often not as grammatically correct or spelled correctly due to the fact that I was too tired to care, my emotions often felt all over the place, and I became tired of becoming this unhappy miserable person who didn’t have the energy for 20 minutes of Yoga never mind all the other events or activities I couldn’t attend or do.

I still was able to do some things I wanted to do but not as much as I used to be able to do. It took my Mom having a frank discussion with me about my declining health, to put the pieces together. These last 2 months I have spent much time at different Doctor’s offices trying to find a healthier way to fall asleep besides 20, 5 gram melatonin pills which no I cannot cut back on, I need them all to sleep. I have received sleeping medications from my sleep Doctor that have only made me sick or tired all day as well as all night and a ticture from my Naturopath that did nothing for me at double the dose she recommended. Finally, I visited my psychiatrist to address the actual regressions I have been feeling with my depression and have been trying to function unsuccessfully with a new dose of certain medications without feeling tired in the day and serious withdrawal when 1 of the medications wears off which unfortunately has been around 2:30 pm in the afternoon, a change of about 2 and 1/2 hours from the lower dose of the drug. 2 hours of activity wears me out in the day, my motivation, and my concentration has not been any better yet.

www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/god
http://www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/god

I’m so frustrated. I am tired of suffering through medication changes just to have somewhat of a normal life; I am tired of being fatigued and sleepy in the day; and I’m heartbroken after all that time I spent trying to move ahead despite my disease, working towards greater independence and trying to become someone who can contribute to society, that my health has regressed and is not improving.

I am trying to be positive though, really. I try to remember that so many people are suffering so much more. I try to remember that I have a family who can help me take care of myself when I cannot do much; that I have a boyfriend who loves me and is extremely understanding of my illness; and that I have friends and relatives who have not stopped supporting me at whatever stage of recovery or regression I have been in since getting depression 5 years ago.

It is essential to look at the bigger picture in life and it is essential that I don’t think no one understands what it’s like to be me because suffering is universal. When I consider the different painful situations I have been in in life I think of the Bible verse ” My Grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses . . . ” ( 2 Corinthians 12:9) This Bible verse said to Paul by God when he prays, suggests that Paul too suffered from some illness, that he prayed 3 times for God to take this ” thorn” away from him but God told him to depend on God because through Paul’s suffering the power of God was apparent. I hope that people see God’s strength when they see me suffer because He is greater than that suffering and He has greater things in mind for me than I will ever know or understand, just as he did for Paul in the Bible.

Forgiveness, maybe…


Forgiveness? It seems like such an ugly word sometimes. Forgive you after that? On the chance that you did do it again and could do it again? There is so much behind forgiveness, so much loathing. But really that is the crux of the matter, it is ‘behind’ it; when you forgive you are putting past transgressions behind you and choosing to let things be. Still, forgiveness is a hard word in the forgetting part of it. We are supposed to forgive by forgetting, moving on yet are we not supposed to learn from our errors? Other people’s errors? I tried to separate the forgiving and forgetting but found that impossible. If you still remember, always bring it up did you really forgive?
So I do what I have said before, forgive ( just say it even) until forgiveness becomes reality, until you mean it. It is taking me awhile to mean it this time but I will get there. If our great Heavenly Father can forgive the sins of the world, from the smallest sin, to the biggest sin, then I too can mean it when I say ‘ I forgive you!’ If he could sacrifice his son Jesus for our sins than I too can forgive. But I am not God or Jesus, I am a silly bitter human and forgiveness is hard give.
To receive forgiveness is the greatest gift. It is strength, a clear mind, energy, and enlightenment. It makes you feel weightless as if the weight of the world is off your shoulders. Forgiveness is a chance to move on for the forgiven and the forgiver. Bitter people stay in the same place, in the same hating pattern; forgiveness is freedom if we only release it.
I think when it is difficult to forgive we must pray that our hearts be opened to receive it and give it. That we do not stay stuck in the past in old sins. Rather, we must move on with life finding ,perhaps, forgiveness for others can lead to forgiveness for ourselves.

It is hard not hate and to not imagine the worst when you have been hurt. It is difficult to breathe with hate weighing you down. But the fact of the matter is, we cannot help but do wrong in our lives at some point. We all need forgiveness, there is always an answer, a light in the darkness.