Fiction, MindLoveMisery's Menagerie, My Thoughts, Poetry, Religion/Morality, Rictameter – 2,4,6,8,10,8,6,4,2 – beg/end same, Tale Weavers Fiction/Poetry, Writing, Writing Challenges

Tale Weavers: Poem – Rictameter – “Foresight” #amwriting #poetry #taleweavers


Thanks to MindLoveMisery’s Menagerie for hosting last week’s Tale Weaver prompt having to do with the importance of sight, physical, spiritual, or beyond. Also thank you to Linda J. Wolf of the blog Urban Poetry for the new poem format. Rictameter verse had 9 lines and the first and the last line repeat. The syllable count for each line is as follows: 2,4,6,8,10,8,6,4,2. 

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Also, I know many of you are doing the A to Z Challenge for April. But if anyone’s interested in poetry, join me in National Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo). A poem a day for 30 days. You can sign your blog up at www.napowrimo.net. Each day in April, return to the site for the daily poetry prompts and remember to link back to the website when you write your poems and to tag your work #NaPoWriMo so other bloggers can read your awesome poetry. Looking forward to reading everyone’s poetry takes. If you are REALLY up for the challenge combine NaPoWriMo with the A to Z Challenge 🙂 

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Credit: Google Images

To see,

With clarity,

Minds are required to —

Be open to possibility.

All the relevant outcomes forecasted,

Made with thinking of calculated —

Risks; all aspects bad,

Or fortunate,

To see.

——-

Because,

Limited sight,

Costs lives, so we try —

To foresee what could occur.

What is likely to happen in certain —

Situations; or what won’t —

Occur; we attempt to —

See the future,

Because.

——

We live,

Blindly despite,

Attempts to know.

We can’t actually know;

As much as we make it seem,

As if we can configure potential,

But it’s all a fantastic lie.

We know nothing but —

Footsteps ahead,

We live.

——

Blindly,

Our sight fades for —

Physically our prime is —

Short; but we can see past —

Spiritually if only —

We choose to see, to look within and find,

Our immortality left,

After we pass on.

We try to see,

Blindly.

——-

In life,

We desire to —

Know what happens —

Next; can we stop our fears,

Trouble from taking place or should —

We leave it in God’s hands and let,

Our worry and painful burdens,

Be His to decide,

Thy Will Be Done, 

In life.


©Mandibelle16. (2017) All Rights Reserved.

Children/YA/Family, Etheree - 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 syllable count, Fairy Tale Themed, Fiction, Memories/Childhood, MindLoveMisery's Menagerie, My Thoughts, Nature, Nonfiction, Poetry, Relationship, Religion/Morality, Writing, Writing Challenges

Collage Prompt: Poem – Cascading Etheree – “The Inner Child” #amwriting #poetry 


Thanks to MindLoveMisery’s Menagerie for hosting this week’s collage prompt.

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Credit: MindLoveMisery’s Menagerie; Bottom Right – Jeremiah Morelli

———

You might think it peculiar to let kids,

Be small, to let them be silly, weird,

When most of their life is spent in,

‘Adulting,’ learning how to,

Be big, responsible,

I say as Auntie:

Let them be them,

Creative,

Full of,

Fun.

——

Let,

Them be,

Wild beings,

Think of stories,

Imaginative,

And implausible, but —

Believe them because you’re,

Playing along, taller tales,

Demonstrate creativity,

For kids, it keeps them young, growing older.

——

Think of tilting towers, Big Ben in blue –

Green prairie sky, a storm brought him here.

But he bends, tilts just because and,

Storm brought along a grand,

Gothic cathedral roof,

Pointed top I’m sure —

Missed somewhere; hot —

Air balloon,

Holds our,

Dreams.

—–

Where,

We live

With such rich,

Possibility.

Imagining,

Tall towers floating in,

Moon lit skies, princesses,

Saving themselves, jumping from,

Clouds, the moon indeed smiling so proud,

Girls and boys — escape from their own towers.

——

Locked fortresses floating, new challenge,

Escaping by flying pirate ships old,

Never turning back to the light,

Of a trapped home, wishing most,

To be little, secure,

Not worry about,

A dragon’s fire,

A port in,

Mid-air,

Light.

—–

Sought,

In night’s,

Binding grip,

All children search,

For understanding,

A hug and kiss when they’re lost,

Hurt, or at least a safe place works.

For home; mom’s gentle touch when,

Nightmares thrive; become to real, kids hide;

But parents are there, provide a haven.

——-

So encourage kids to harness their,

Creativity, to paint and draw,

To find their passions in life, so —

Maybe they can live them too.

Or find a haven in,

Their talents, their skills,

Urging away,

Stress; relief,

‘Cause life,

Hurts.

—–

So,

We teach,

Live your dreams,

Let them unwind

You; be as free as

Butterflies; don’t be tacked,

To a board on the wall kept.

Fly lovely, safe, remembering,

Humanity is indeed so —

Delicate at times; you’re not invincible.

—–

But in the power of the imagination,

You can always escape the threads,

Binding you to reality.

You can have liberty,

Smile, eat your cake too,

And hopefully,

Your partner,

The one who,

Loves you,

Most.

—–

Has,

Their own,

Inner child,

Understands and,

Knows, love is gentle,
Love is fiery, bold,

Love and creativity,

Both hold; let you be dauntless, free,

Full of life, security to —

Be held; be wild both as adult and child.

——–

©Mandibelle16. (2017) All Rights Reserved.

Children/YA/Family, Current Events, Flash Fiction, Memories/Childhood, MindLoveMisery's Menagerie, My Thoughts, Relationship, Writing, Writing Challenges

Saturday Mix Flash Fiction: Someday Love #amwriting #flashfiction #nonfiction 


Thanks to Lorraine from MindLoveMisery’s Menagerie for hosting this week’s prompt on love

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Love is all you need? Whoever said that perhaps was in the first stages of love.They hadn’t seen the nitty gritty yet, what separates those we love and those who truly love us from those who are but memories or experiences in our lives. To be honest with you, I’ve realized what I’ve felt of being ‘in’ love was so short it was hardly there. But I know what it was because I know what love’s not. It hurts thinking back to that time even though it was barely real. 

I was also with a guy much longer and the love I tried to convince myself I felt, didn’t exist. In a sense I’m glad it wasn’t authentic because love is painful. It doesn’t mean because you’re in love with someone everything’s suddenly perfect. Love in relationships is a ton of work combined with trust which takes time to build. It’s a given your other half will do stupid and thoughtless things at times and so will you. Whatever the relationship, we’re all human and make mistakes and sometimes those mistakes are huge and hurtful. 

But in the spaces in-between are these perfect moments of sometimes physical but always heartfelt gestures of love, fleeting but memorable; these are the moments lovers live for. Love is being unselfish and it’s difficult for any human to consider someone else before themselves all the time. It would seem to me we need so much more than only love. But I know lasting love is possible because I know my Lord who says: “We love, because her first loved us.” With those words in my life, I feel this whole ‘true love’ thing might be a possibility someday. 

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©Mandibelle16. (2017) All Rights Reserved.

Etheree - 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 syllable count, My Thoughts, Nonfiction, Religion/Morality, Short Stories And Serial Stories, Travel, Writing

Poem: Etherees – ” Diamonds, Suits, and Equality.” 


http://www.walllpaperup.com

———–

I could keep on telling you of all the —

Possibilities, endless in row, 

Diamonds glittering, light within, 

Such falseness in clarity, 

Like you, extensively cheap —

You don’t comprehend, 

Lies kill love and —

Con-artists, 

Thrive; I 

See

—-

Through, 

Your lies, 

You’re glass with, 

Fractured cracks split, 

In all directions, 

Blaming me because you’re, 

A lost boy never grown up, 

Buying your way with jewels and, 

Expensive booze on your breath; putrid, 

The smell, of vanity, and self-deceit.

——-

Broken old man, in business suit glaring, 

Imagining you’ve an empire but you’ve,

Only got a shilling and its, 

Currency long past, not used, 

So pay for your glitter, 

Die for Diamond rings, 

You’ve only things, 

And no ounce,

Substance, 

Fake.

—-

Look

Down on, 

Condescend, 

From you high horse, 

Fall on marble, crack, 

You’re a paragon, 

Sayings of virtue spent, 

Lying with each word on your tongue, 

Never saying what you mean and —

Not receiving your just dessert, 

Razing a woman below your boot,

It’s not Madmen; she cares not for jewels.

—–

Rather, she wishes you’d respect her more, 

Pay her equal for the same type of job, 

Not peer down on her to use her, 

Not think she is stupid with —

Her four-year-degree not —

Good enough for you, 

She isn’t going, 

To be stuck, 

Keeping, 

Home.

—–

Jewels, 

Don’t phase, 

Her more than, 

A moment’s past–

She sells them all back, 

Letting you see she’ll toss, 

Your silly rock she’ll not be —

That girl; she fought for her place and, 

The dealings were rough; no respect for —

Her a diamond unformed a jewel still scorned.

——-

In modern world she’s disgusted with the —

Throw-back to Don Drapper; but even he told, 

His teen daughter “You’re beautiful –

The rest is up to you; TV —

Showing reality and, 

The issue at hand, 

Equality means, 

Woman, Man,  

Same. 

——-

©Mandibelle16. (2016) All Rights Reserved

Current Events, Health, My Thoughts, Poetry, Prose Poetry, Writing

Writing 101 – Freedom – “Sacrifice”


Many people would react viciously if you told them they weren’t free. It’s a fundamental of democracy that every man and woman of every human race, justly has a right to liberty.

We take it for granted and we do not think, what it would be like to be locked up — to be bound with chains of tyranny, literal or figuratively; freedom is never free.

But freedom is a difficult ideal. People in society should be able to decide on their actions and make their own choices.

And  people should decide who should govern them, what laws and rules limit people from ruining another’s human rights (liberties).

When you say “freedom,” people actually think it is free; they stop and forget that people fought and died in wars so we could enjoy the right to liberty today. People long for freedom in places under lock and key.

We forget that freedom isn’t about only  our own freedom but the liberty of our neighbours and community members too.

We forget that since we are free to educate ourselves , and be educated, we should strive to be knowledgable; we should make informed choices.

For example, a liberty to bear arms — guns — is secondary to how available you make them and for whom. If you truly want to have a gun to defend your house, then you will jump through hoops so your rights do not infringe on other people’s rights to live.

You will follow all the steps the law says you need to do to have a gun even though they are aggravating, because you want your children safe at school and you want your friends and family safe at work, or at a shopping mall.

In the subject of freedom we are negligent (because we have had it so long without are world falling to chaos) because it is only free if you limit it.

You must say you are free to do ‘this’ but not ‘that’ because you are infringing on the freedom of other people.

For this reason, where I live: we eliminated smoking in bars and public places. Because people have a right to breath clean air and not be subjected to second hand smoke which can cause cancer.

If you smoke you are free to do so but not if it is going to affect my liberty to breathe, too not be allergic to the air.

You can do it in certain areas where there are places to put out your cigarettes, or in your own home if your certain you must.

And you can wear a head set while driving a vehicle, instead of driving one-handed. You can tell your phone ” Siri, text Allison and tell her I’m going for a beer after work, ” instead of removing your eyes from the road and using your fingers to text.

And now we are losing demerits for distracted driving. No putting on mascara or lipstick while you are driving. No looking for something you can’t find or eating a burger either. It’s harsh, but people are dying.

You are infringing on people’s saftey when you drive distractedly. You think you are free to drive how you like, but an old lady thinks she is free and safe to walk across the road while you search your phone, your  eyes not on the road.

Not every one follows law and order, the price of freedom, of our liberty. It’s the purpose of jail. Why we spend so much on prisons, why in some countries people are sentenced to die; are we truly free to say someone’s life should be forfeit?

People change. That doesn’t make up for the pain of the victims or their families or the crime. But the fact that people can educate themselves, find God, show remorse, and better themselves makes me think it is better to let God decide who lives and dies.

He is after all the ultimate judge and executioner. The freedom to give and take life as you please, that scares me. It is something that happens in places with no freedom. In places where people are suffering and dying needlessly.

And because people don’t follow laws here, they act to protect their freedom and they sue each other, and do awful and thoughtless things.

And some companies can be pretty corporate at the bottom line when it comes to thinking of the individual employee’s liberties.

What freedom, do the mentally ill have? When the common person knows so little about mental illness, to help them. When people don’t understand them or make an effort to. What about freedom of acceptance?

What about freedom of speech? Does it change your view of the person talking normally if you know he is bipolar? Or if he does is job year after year but has a bit of break down. Or if he is an alcoholic or a crime victim.

And what of the freedom to live, we can take this two ways. Should you have the freedom to healthcare you can’t afford? Isn’t a human life worth it? What if your health plan doesn’t cover a new medical procedure?

But Doctors need to be paid and new ones trained. There are nurses and interns and the people from the lab. What about their right to make a living? Does it out – weigh your right to live? Haven’t we decided that we shouldn’t be choosing who lives and who dies?

But it changes up a little when you are dying and nothing can save you. When you are in horrific pain because of a physical disease. Think of ALS and Tuesday’s with Morrie or cancer in your bones or in your blood.

Miracles can happen. But if you are the one choosing and it is your life, shouldn’t you have access to drugs, or some humane way to die. To not leave this life so torn apart that everyday is an agony and pain is a mantra.

I don’t know what I’d do but I think I might like to go out with a little of me left in me. I don’t want to be a person with no freedom because she is forced to live and suffer. A person who had no freedom because disease stole it from her.

I think the concept of freedom is quite deceptive. Initially, it appears harmless but when you dig deeper you see that it has teeth, a tale, and Jurassic World T-Rex hybrid eyes and teeth.

Liberty, is a hugely complex subject. It seems so simple when we’re only dying for it. But to uphold a society of freedom, means not everbody is completely free. There is give and take.

And I found that as I write, I keep becoming caught up in liberty of life. In society and their reactions in time near death, for abortions, in prisons, as you go about your day — who decides who lives and dies.

That is a freedom I think humans shouldn’t have. But we make the decisions anyways, because we have free will; sometimes, I don’t like liberty at all.

At times it’s easier to have “someone”make the decision. But that is how dictatorships start, when we stop deciding.

Here we are, the biggest problem with freedom — we must choose what freedom is, and what we will give up to be free.

—–

©Mandibelle16. All Rights Reserved.

Event, My Thoughts

What Will The Future Bring?


Of the future, man knows least; yet, about this, he worries most.
– Ivan Panin

I’ve reached another turning point in my life, which, makes me wonder what will the future bring. I have only to wait patiently to find out yet still this does not stop me from wondering. I wonder a lot of things and I suppose I feel because of the nature of my health problems that my future is more ‘ up for grabs’ than many people I know, largely because I feel I have less control over the things I get to do in my life. But then another side of me thinks this isn’t true. That we equally all of us have our futures as unpredictable because no one knows if he or she will be here the next day, or the day after that. All our futures are lost to unpredictability.

But I would like to think that even those of us with the shortest time left have something to look forward to. Maybe, it’s just a few laughs or maybe it’s the glory of heaven. We all need something no matter how small to greet us the next moment or day. Call me crazy but I’m looking forward to being single again. To be able to check out that hot guy at the table next to mine and not feel the tiniest sense of guilt. I’m looking forward to meeting new friends (both male and female) and I’m just so happy to be able to get up again everyday healthy not to lie in bed but to to be able to read and write. And even though I can only handle about 5 minutes of intervals and 2 abdominal exercises I’m excited to get my body in whatever better shape I can get it into too.

But something I love about the future is possibility. I have always felt so fresh, alive, and that life is full of such magic when there is the possibility to choose and have an an array of unknown choices in front of me. Or maybe, it’s not always that we get to choose it’s that life takes on various directions along with our choices . I haven’t felt as if I have had many choices in a long while. I think I’ve been living a stagnant life. Changing my relationship status has brought me along way that opportunity of possibility. It’s more freedom with my time, more freedom for old and new friends, more freedom to focus on bettering myself, and more freedom to focus on bettering the world around me.

Yes, as Panin wrote we may no know least about the future but it’s the most exciting.

Event, Health, My Thoughts

Catching Up


Hey everyone! I know my blogging has been sparse lately, sorry about that. I have had a real decline in my health this summer and it’s been difficult to concentrate on activities such as writing and brainstorming  blog ideas.

I’ve been extremely fatigued and tired. For 2 weeks I think I just about spent most of my time sleeping. Maybe, I was sick, I think, as illness seems to hit me harder with whatever larger illness I have. Although, sleeping 24-7 has passed I still find my health declining to a place it was at about 2-years after my first episode.

I managed to enjoy my birthday “month” and this past week hasn’t been an exception despite extreme fatigue. I had a lovely dinner with the ladies at Earls Tin Palace last Tuesday and thank goodness it was $4 Bellini night because I needed alcohol. It was great to see everyone who came even though I couldn’t be involved in the conversation as much as I wanted to be.

I’m sure no one noticed but I notice these things and hope that soon I will be able to be more chatty again and less tired. By 9:30 pm I was so so sleepy and by 10:15 pm I just had to leave and take a cab home. It was fine with my friends but I felt sick the cab ride home until I went to sleep. As I often do when I’m fatigued-out, I get flu-like symptoms that go away when I become rested. It’s something I always had but am just recognizing what it is now. I think I have days that are just bad days that I feel like I have the flu but really I’m just so utterly fatigued I feel ill.

But thanks everyone who came out I really did have a great time despite my symptoms. I was so happy to see you all there and hear all about your lives, especially those of you who are travelling to fun places and having or have had kids recently in your lives.

I was also very blessed to have a ride to a friend’s Wedding shower that Sunday via Tara. And the shower was great. A beautiful bride got to be around all her best girl friends, bridesmaids, and women relatives and she seemed to enjoy herself immensely. The weather was perfect and I felt good that day ( which hasn’t been happening so much) and everyone was so nice. The bride received many nice gifts, particularly kitchen based. I decided to go with a couple sets of dishware for the shower and the wedding, the bride picked out a beautiful light blue color for her dishware. It is the same color I would have chosen. 25-years from now everyone will know when our dishes from because we all like light blue dishes.

I can’t wait for the stagette night and only hope I feel as good for that night as night’s have been particularly tough me at times. I more worried about lasting the entire night so I think I will arrive around 5;30 pm for a couple left over jello shots and the comedian and probably take off a bit earlier then everyone else from Cook County on Whyte Ave. I am so excited to go to a country bar it has been so long and my 2-stepping is probably worse than it ever was but I might be able to figure out some of the line dancing again.

Moreover, I am finally going to see my psychiatrist tomorrow. I have to tell her all about how much worse I’ve felt this summer and get her to look into Chronic Fatigue as a definitive diagnosis for what I have. Basically, Chronic Fatigue is going to sleep and never ever waking up feeling rested. There are different degrees of Chronic fatigue and I received the definitive diagnosis definition and charts/symptoms for Canada from the M.E. Society of Edmonton. I now have to take this information, along with filled out charts/symptoms (why I think I have CF) to my doctor. I printed out a list of Doctors that deal with CF in Edmonton, but I’m hoping my psychiatrist who knows my situation best can diagnose me.

If I actually have CF I’ll tell you all about it and how my individual symptoms fit in. I don’t know that this makes treatment any easier but it does tell you that yes there is something physically wrong with me that I can tell people and use for health disability status/AISH etc. I’m positive I fit the criterion, or else I don’t know what disease I fit and it could open new possibilities I haven’t thought of. Possibility can be a great thing sometimes.

— 2 days later — I have visited my psychiatrist and presented my research. Apparently, CF is very difficult to diagnose because of all the other illnesses you have to rule out first. I feel we have ruled out plenty of illnesses but my psychiatrist sent me for some blood work and she is going to send me to a rheumatologist who specifically deals with CF and Fibermielga — 2 similar diseases. It might be a whole year before I see him but I am very excited to start the process and finally get a real diagnosis on what I have dealt with fatigue wise. I may have initially had a psychotic episode caused by depression but sometimes illnesses can result in other illness such as CF. You can get better from CF but you also cannot. I hope that the fact that I was young when the fatigue first hit me (23-years-old) means that might be possible someday or that there is some treatment being developed out there that can someday help me. Although CF has been written about since the early 1400’s the medical community has only recently begun to deal with it and try to come up with ways to help patients.

My Thoughts, Relationship

All Good Things Come To an End


I have had a rough few days, but I suppose anyone ending a long-term relationship feels rough when they first end their relationship. I keep feeling this sinking, half-sick feeling inside me — after 3 years A and I are over and it was my choice.

The worst of what I’m feeling is the guilt but then whenever I go places I start to have flashbacks of when A and were here or like today when I went to A & W with my mom I thought about how this was A’s favourite burger place. Or the look he would give me when I ordered Pepsi because I’ve sworn Pepsi off to many times to count.

There are too many memories with A, good and some bad. But you never realize how much someone is a part of your life until they are no longer in it. At least half a dozen times I’ve caught myself thinking that A would like this, I would like to take my boyfriend here, and then I remember I don’t have a boyfriend anymore; I ended it with A and there are places I am never going to be able to take him to see and things I’m never going to be able to say.

Working someone who was important out of your life is the hardest part about breaking up. Forgetting your routines and the places you liked to go, forgetting looks between you, forgetting everything. But it has only been 2 days since I decided this was the best path for me to take with my life and even though A is up North at work right now, his ghost is all around me. I wouldn’t take the break up back but I didn’t think being the one who did the breaking up would be so painful.

I know he is much worse for ware then I am, after all I broke his heart. But I just got to the point where I didn’t see a future between us. I couldn’t picture myself saying yes when we wanted to get married in a couple years when after a 3 year relationship he was too afraid to meet my family, the most important people in my life. And if I had left it 2 more years until we wanted to get married I still would’ve said no still. “I won’t take you back,” he told me, but you know what I’m okay with that. I wanted to see what and who else is out there because something just didn’t feel quite right. It was that unsettled feeling inside of me that had me wanting to make a change in my life.

I regret hurting him, I regret the damage I did to him because he loved me a lot and I didn’t love him enough, and I regret this sick feeling inside of me. But even though he doesn’t think so, somewhere there’s someone else for me and him. There is so much possibility out there and I think that’s all I was looking for again.