Friday Music/ Sunday Photo Fiction: Ship to the Stairway #flashfiction #musicchallenge 


Thanks to Alistair Forbes for hosting SPF. Thanks to MindLoveMisery’s Menagerie for this week’s music challenge, “Stairway to Heaven” by Led Zeppelin 

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Credit: A Mixed Bag – Alistair Forbes

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“Stairway to Heaven” – Led Zeppelin 

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“This will get us there, you’re sure?” Avery asked the Captain. Her hands shook and sweat beaded on her forehead. 

” Yes Madam, as I’ve told the other passengers, who are equally as persistent, this will take us to the first step.” 

“The Stairway to Heaven? I can’t believe it. It’s for real, isn’t it?” 

“Well, Madam Avery, that’s what you paid all your money for. This is the only ship that can take you there. We’ll arrive shortly. Ask a flight attendant to give you some pills to calm you down. Soon, you’ll never need medicine again.” 

“But, what’s at the top of the Stairway? Streets filled with glittering gold? No more crying and no more pain?” 

“When we’re there you’ll know. Have faith, Madam.” 

Avery looking pale and feeling dehydrated suddenly fainted. The whole idea of reaching Heaven by space ship seemed unimaginable. 

When she woke up she was lying on a soft bed. There was a gate formed of pure gold and silver. Two regal guards stood nearby. 

“You there, both of you, where is this? I was supposed to be in Heaven I paid a great deal of money to get there, ” Avery said. 

The guards chuckled, “Madam Avery, don’t you know the Stairway and Heaven itself cannot be bought by humans.” 

“But what am I doing here?” 

“Quiet now. You’re in processing, they’re trying to decide about you,” one guard said. 

“Decide what?” 

“If somewhere deep inside you know Heaven was purchased for you long ago. If you know who bought it,” the second guard replied. 

Avery stomped her foot, “I deserve what’s coming to me.” 

The first guard shook his heads,” Wherever you end up, Madam Avery, you can be sure of that.” 

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©Mandibelle16. (2017) All Rights Reserved. 

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Saturday Mix: Poem – Blank Verse – “Addiction Nightmares” #amwriting #poetry #saturdaymix 


Thanks to Teresa of MindLoveMisery’s Menagerie for hosting last week’s Saturday Mix Prompt. The prompt is to write a Homeric or Epic Simile. 

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Credit: Angel Jimenez via UnSplash

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He lived his life did, what he could, but could —

Not find a way to escape the demons. 

He could not escape his addiction; the —

Monster sunk his teeth into him when his, 

Guard was down; he would feel wonderful, 

Healthy, good, then he felt it’s teeth gnawing. 

The biting, the teeth claiming his flesh, would make, 

His skin itch until he wanted to tear it, 

Off; running for the bathroom where he hid, 

His medication, the pills he so craved. 

Wanted to quit; to never take again, 

But the monster clawing down his back would, 

Never stop; not until he claimed him for–

His own; made him demon too, who hits her, 

His girl; who loves him, though hallucinates, 

Of the Hell monster,  he lives in terror of, 

He wakes from Hell to find his family, 

Has deserted him; he’s alone breathing; 

Trying to forget the demon who would start, 

Eating him alive soon, making his temper —

Rise and his fists fly as he imbibes too, 

Craving the second monster who is the, 

Only way to handle the greater, 

The worst monster, the devil hiding. 

Evil itself repeatedly gnawing, 

Trapping him in Hades, stripping his —

Soul; so he feels that he does not exist;

For anyone, but to grind and lash out. 

To battle the demon, his addiction, 

And no one can help him, they’ve given 

Up all hope; so one day he thought he would, 

Give in let the monster finish him. 

Bind and seal the deal, his soul in hell for, 

All eternity and he was going, 

To jump when he saw —  a light, awoke; 

In the room of the addictions unit. 

At the hospital and the nurse tells him, 

“It’s okay it’s been a month and you’re —

Dreaming again; it’s a wicked —

Nightmare and not your reality now.

Keep clean and the monster, he’ll leave soon, 

Then, you’ll be free as you’re here and —

Remain aware; when you leave stay far from, 

Put those drugs, the alcohol behind. 

And soon you must embrace your new life, 

Make your apologies and live.” 

The man sighs almost crying, so —

Happy the demons are distant dreams. 

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©Mandibelle16. (2017) All Rights Reserved. 

Somber Sunday


It’s a somber Sunday in September. All the rain we have been wishing for all summer finally came and it’s cold, wet, and uninviting out for a Labour Day Weekend. I didn’t have much planned for this weekend, something I miss about not having a boyfriend was having someone to do stuff with on weekends like this. My friends are now spread out over the city so it has become more difficult transportation wise to do things with them. But I’m excited for a friend’s Birthday next Friday. At least I will make it for the dinner part and we’ll just have to see about the going out part. Another friend turns thirty today but I’m not sure what she is up to. 

I’m all about getting organized to take this one silly class. I realized I don’t have the textbook and can’t get it until the end of the month. Plus, it took so long for the U of A to get back to me on how I should approach this course as a disabled student that I just mailed the forms in with doctor’s letter on Friday. Plus, their is a portion of funding I have to apply to for student grants/loans and I’m waiting on this pin to access my grade 12 diploma marks. They said that would take 2 weeks by mail to receive. Meanwhile, class starts Tuesday and I have no idea how any of this is going to work out — taping lectures and getting handouts.  It has made going to just one three hour class stressful. 

On the medication front, I have emailed my doctor after a really bad last appointment where she didn’t do anything helpful for me but leave me between a rock and a hard place. She did not increase the amount of one drug I need to fall asleep or increase my clozapine so I can sleep just on that. So, hopefully she responds to the email and I get that sorted out. I’m worried about how that will affect my course. Clozapine is an antipsychotic and those pills can be really aggravating side effects wise. 

Every Sunday I go and get my blood work done as per the Clozapine. It’s nice because the place we go is usually deserted on a Sunday. I did a bit of shopping at Kingsway this week and am wondering why places are so late in getting Fall clothes out. It gets chilly pretty quickly here. Wish I had more exciting things to tell you but life is a bit of lemons lately. 

I have a makeup blog coming out, a fall fashion one, and the usual flash fiction stories.

Take care

Late Night Wanderings


I think I’m asleep now, maybe in a moment. Okay now I’m asleep. Okay not yet. Perhaps now. No not yet. I think I’ll try some more melatonin. That ought to do it. If I dissolve them underneath my tongue there is a much greater chance I’ll drift off to sleep . . .

Okay still not asleep. I guess I didn’t dissolve the melatonin properly in my mouth. Should I try a few more tablets?

Hey, I wonder how I should get my hair done tomorrow? Definitely going for the dark brown lowlights and I think the haircut from that picture of the blond on Pinterest. But longer then hers. I have to keep it long enough so I can put it up in a bun or chignon or braid it how I like. Speaking of which Kate hasn’t had very many new hair tutorials lately on her blog? I’d like to learn some new ways to do my hair but ever since her babies she just mostly talks about her baby David and the one in her tummy. I guess babies keep you extremely busy, never mind the lack of sleep . . .

Still not asleep! I wonder if I just shut my eyes and make myself sleep maybe it will happen. Too much napping this afternoon. But I was very sleepy around 5 pm. Okay, not asleep, did I take my sleeping pills, all of them? No maybe, I missed a couple. But tell the doctor that and they bubble pack your Meds like your elderly and living in the home.

I wonder what kind of picture I’ll need to take tomorrow? Maybe I should check now since I’ll be out. Hair then flu shot and drugstore. Last time I got a needle the pharmacist made me bleed. That was weird, I didn’t think needles did that except for blood tests.

NOT SLEEPING! Okay definitely didn’t take a couple sleeping pills. 200 mg Gabepentin stat!

Three minutes later . . .

We Are Just Who We Are and Can’t Be Anyone Else


20140321-142213.jpgI wanted to write about a topic I’ve written on before but it seems to receive a welcome response every single time I write about it. The topic is being satisfied with our bodies and maybe even more than that, who we are as a person.

Recently, I avoided running into someone I knew who made the comment that I was 30 lbs heavier than the last time they saw me (university I think) and that even though I was still pretty I didn’t look very good. I thought this was a completely rude comment to make especially as you were walking right past me and come on, did you actually think I wouldn’t recognize you? And to be fair you weren’t so thin yourself mister, but that’s not what I’m here to do, make those types of comments, because making those comments would lower me to his level.

I could go onto explain to you (and him) how psychiatric medications put a great deal of weight

www.eastsidefriendsofseniors.com
http://www.eastsidefriendsofseniors.com

on a person either by increasing your appetite or I have found in my case, simply by taking these pills. I could say that I have Chronic Fatigue and that it’s extremely hard for me to put the energy into exercising I need to lose weight. I could tell you how carefully I eat at home and how I have tried programs such as herbal magic and tried all kinds of herbs to aid me in keeping my weight down. I could tell you that the most current thing I am trying is something called Plexus. I haven’t had the opportunity to try it for a full month even because I have had other health issues though. And I could tell you even though I try these diet supplements, medications work against me to hold the weight on my body and that for all the medications I’ve tried I’m actually doing well.

www.plussizemodelsunite.com
http://www.plussizemodelsunite.com

I could say all those things but the truth of the matter is it doesn’t matter why I put weight on, I simply did, and I put enough pressure comparing myself (when I go shopping with someone who is a small size) dealing with the fact that I’m a size 12 or 14 and a size L in the top while a friend is a size XS and fitting into size 26 jeans.

It’s not her fault she is small she was born this way, tiny; but I find that there is a certain distance between two people when one of you barely fits the sizes that are available because you are too small, while the other of you barely fits the sizes that are available because you are too big — you don’t quite get each other when you shop or shop the same way. But then I see other women who are taller and bigger than I and I wonder what size do they fit? Or is for them only fitting into clothing at stores such as Additionelle and/or Ricki’s, what they do, when the rest of us have the utmost variety on most items of clothing. This scares me, that I could become one of these people next time I try new medication.

What I am trying to say is that I think the fashion industry has to have some mercy on the average

www.returnofkings.com
http://www.returnofkings.com

sized women who is a size 12 to 16 and give her and those who are larger than her more variety to wear and show more models that are not 16 or 17-years-old and not fully developed. Some of us have just reasons for not being able to be a smaller size whether it was because we are women who had kids, have health problems, or were simply born bigger. Slowly, we are getting there, but too slowly I think, if a trip to the mall into all the stores that I like, makes me feel like I am large and don’t belong there. The same must go for extremely tiny women, where do they shop? How do they feel when the emphasis in fashion currently is to be a “curvy” 4,6, or 8. And do those who design stores do something to the mirrors at the mall because I swear I look fatter there, then in any of the mirrors I have at home?

www.nicholasfergusan.org
http://www.nicholasfergusan.org

My point is, as before, we should love our bodies and be happy with them, however, they are. And we should not be ashamed of them because other people can’t keep their opinions in to themselves or because we are comparing ourselves to someone who is smaller or bigger than us. Yet still, we are people who are conditioned to think a certain way and that is bigger = bad and thinner = good so I think we need to be reconditioned so that just like we don’t judge people on ethnicity in Canada we don’t judge people on the size of their bodies; rather, we leave it up to the person to love and manage their own body and we be supportive of them in all stages of their body, in all weights and sizes. We can’t be anyone else other than who we are at this moment! So don’t expect us to be someone else –let us be comfortable and unique — let us be whoever we are in whatever size we are.