This morning I thought I’d share a couple poems with you. Just some poetry on the topic of love. A poem that I wrote looking back on some kind of love years ago and a poem I wrote considering love recently. The third poem is a poem on another kind of love that confuses me. I am not in love; I do not think I have ever been but maybe it’s the spring air or all my friends taking the wedding plunge, it’s been on my mind just a bit.
But what is more important then self love? Don’t people say you have to love yourself first? I have found in my later twenties that I am a lot more comfortable being me than I was in my early twenties. This is despite the fact that meeting new people always means explaining my health issues at some point. But I have made awesome new friends and I have also found that there is always things we can do through out the year, and through out our lives, to improve ourselves. I read that it takes 21 days to break a bad habit and later saw on Pinterest that a perfect way to track your progress is to put up 21 sticky note flags numbered 1 to 21 and rip the days off the wall as you become closer and closer to breaking that bad habit.
Today I put two rows of sticky note flags up ( I have a ton so they must have some use since they do not make good page markers being all flimsy). The first goal I made is my ever pressing goal to stop my shopping, especially now that Montreal is a month away and I want to shop at Simon’s there and I want to break my shopping habit. I have complained and explained before how I do thus because I love fashion, I don’t think, and I get bored and it’s something easy to do – shop online. So starting tomorrow I stop for 21 days completely, except for Shopper’s Drug Mart necessities, cab faire, and certain events I already have planned.
The second row of sticky notes goal is a fitness/ health goal. I really love Pepsi. Yes it’s bad but I have been drinking a bit too much lately so for 21 days I am not drinking Pepsi and I will do 15 minutes of yoga 5 days a week. This is my easy goal. A week without Pepsi I will be fine and doing yoga is not bad at all. So that is my self love , self – improvement for the month of May. I already failed both goals today but tomorrow will be better. Now with out further ado, my two poems:
I can’t forget
I never knew you, But I can’t forget
Those days when I was just 19
When the moon rose like fire
Diamonds shimmered in the flame
A look shared between us, set the world ablaze
I never knew you, we shared waves
But you made me something I can’t explain
A girl you shaped and moulded
A women now, but never yours, again
You didn’t know it, but I prayed for you anyways.
I never knew you, It seemed like I did.
There was innocence hiding in my smile
But you chose not to talk, you threw me away
I never forget you, your apart of my life
You remain in a way, I don’t want you anymore.
I still don’t know you, you hurt me all the same
8 years ago is such a long time, I struggle in my world
You shine like you always did, false smiles
Dimples genuine, deep down a charmer, a good guy
You wrung me dry, because you never explained
You never left my life, you ripple through the days
I am not your girl, but you never did say
Anything to make the wanting go away
To seem like a human being who cared
You are magician, you tricked me the worst of ways
You never ever leave me in peace for long.
Because you were significant in some small way
Showers of pearls and tears and rain
I’ll never see you as just some guy
You never even knew me, but you mark me anyways
You’ll probably never acknowledge me
You never really did, I’m the girl spellbound for life
Tricks, twisting, trailing down my heart
You’ll never make it right, and you’ll never know
The girl you can’t explain, now she’s far away and free.
What Could They Have Ever Wrote
What could they have ever wrote
that made love seem unbroken.
No you never fight every single time.
No you never argue about insignificant things.
No he’ll never force his will on you and see that you push back.
No he doesn’t seem to see a night with him is better than it’s ever been.
And no you’ll never fall in love at exactly the same time.
He could force you quietly or he could hold you tightly.
But you cannot say I’m in love with you
until it’s something that you breath,
until you feel it with every finger tip, every eye lash, with your innermost depths.
Love is such a complicated thing and togetherness all the more.
Being together meets I like you a lot,
be prepared for sparks to shimmer,
for pleasure that hurts as much as it heals;
For a closeness so near you never want to break skin contact.
Be prepared to use it and abuse it’s power,
to be decimated by that power.
Be prepared to simply dream that he’ll ever get it right.
Until he does and you scream a touch so binding,
it makes the love and togetherness hard to separate.
It makes those wild nights and afternoons,
a way to confuse, to confound.
So watch and see yourself fall in line,
love is patient, love is kind.
The idea of love kind of blows my mind.
It makes me whole and splinters me like ice.
Love is many splendored thing.
If he answered your questions,
told you his plans
and let you touch him in public just a little bit more.
Love is such a broken thing,
how does one know that you have chosen well?
How does one know what the future brings?
I’m afraid to love it could depress me, change my life, make the future difficult.
So I never say I love you until I know all these things,
until u say I loved you first.
And I say it when I know it.
I am Confused By This World
I am confused in this world
Astounded by the hate
All the different kinds of enmity
Kill me very quietly
All this prejudice leaves me empty
I’m not the kind of person
That you would really notice
I am just one person standing still
Admist all this delusion
And all this hate its humbling
And I’m not a girl
Who would let what’s in the world control
They way that she should act
When everyone else is crazy
I think you all should listen a bit
I have some things to say:
Here are my worries, myself laid bare
Because this world is made of glass
And we are all but shards
What do you think of prejudice?
I wish you’d stop hating
People are just trying to make it right
To them it feels right to love one another
A piece of the puzzle falls into place
Be that person of same sex or different
And everyone is raising awareness
But we all know it already
I never proclaim loud and proud that I’m straight
Don’t you get it, it’s just as hard being one way
As it is another
That’s why it really irks me
That you always have to have parades
And talk in such a way that you have it worse
I don’t know why the whole world
Celebrates your freedoms
If you are naturally born this way
Then let yourself just be
As all the others are just the way they are
Your LBTG issues important as they maybe
Are not the be all end all
When people are dying every where
When others are starving just to eat
When their is much abuse
When there are racial retaliations
Terrorists plotting destruction
It’s beautiful what makes us different
But even more astounding is that we’re the same
That there is a need to look beyond you and me
To see the shady world beneath
Not just the issues oppressing you
The one’s I hear far to much
But everyone has a cause
I guess that cause is just yours
But I wish your little bubble would pop
That you would see the truth
There are issues loving a boy being boy
There are issues being a boy loving a girl
And those issues deserve equal representation
It’s hard for everyone
Hate is nothing special
Iniquity and sin is a burden we all bear
Pray that we all find peace
In the arms of someone we love
That the violence in the world ceases
And we all do better, cause we can