I have already complained and exclaimed in my blog many times about my health problems. And when it’s suited the prompt, I have shared details about my issues during this course. But I didn’t set out wanting to do that. You see, it’s extremely easy to get caught in your problems, to drown yourself in them, if you allow yourself to be pulled in that direction. I found myself before this writing course being overwhelmed by my health issues. But I wanted to experiment and find new ideas to write on. My problem is sometimes It’s hard to find your way out of a hole you’ve been digging or found dug for you.
But when it comes down to it, whatever your experiences are, they shape you and mold you. Your experiences change you and alter the person you once were. I have learned a long time ago that I will never be the 23-year-old who lived a care-free life, just worrying about whether some guy liked her and spending my free time drinking and partying with my friends. Sickness led me to see what is important in life and what really matters. I don’t think the girl I was saw what was vital in life.
She didn’t see how important her family was to her person, she undervalued an almost photographic memory, she cared too much what others thought about her, she was too shy to go after many goals she wanted, and she wasn’t hungry because she had never been starved for much of anything in life. But one way I still feel like that girl is when I write. The ease with which words flow, the rightness I feel when I write, the creativity, I’m able to express through words.
So, not being able to work and not being able to take the courses I wanted to this Fall, I was grateful that I could take a course where I could write and express myself in Writing 101. I was grateful to be able to grow and I was grateful for a moment to just feel 23-years-old again, even if I never knew what I know now. I have lost most of my 20’s to sickness but I have also gained so much because of those losses. Those are experiences I’m glad to share when I write, those are unique happenings in my life that I value as much as I want to leave them behind. There is no better teacher then loss.