Quitting Bad Health


Prompt: 

Tell us about something you’ve tried to quit. Did you go cold turkey, or for gradual change? Did it stick?——

  
Have you ever been at a point in your life where you know your body isn’t healthy and in shape; more often then not you are snacking and eating food not good for you; and you are not even remotely trying to be physically active? 

For those of you that dont know I suffer from a depression (mood) illness that has made be chronically fatigued. I don’t have chronic fatigue the syndrome, but I have it due to my mood disorder and many of my symptoms are the same. I also have a sleep disorder probably more of you can relate to, insomnia. 

I have been on many psychiatric drugs since I first became ill about eight-years-ago now. Most of the time I can feel if a drug is helping me within the first couple weeks. Most drugs I cannot tolerate or I am allergic to. I was on a large cocktail of drugs especially because of my insomnia. Drugs that made me sleepy would effect the amount of energy I had in the day which isn’t much. So, my Doctor had me come into the hospital voluntarily for three weeks to start on a new drug called Clozapine. 

I was scared about this as I tried it once before and felt horrible for a day or two. But my doctor told me that because Clozapine can cause your heart rate to increase, cause dizziness at first, and create problems with blood pressure, I needed to be in hospital to give it a proper try. I went off my sleeping pills Gabepentine which were interfering with my ability to think and concentrate. I split the amount of my antidepressant in half and came off some other pills. I started Clozapine and it wasn’t an easy drug to work my way up to the right dose. I am pretty sensitive with medication so it only took about 37.5 mg. But I felt awful the second day after we would increase the drug each time. And it took months, even when I was out of hospital to get used to Clozapine. It acts as an anti-psychotic medication, an antidepressant, and as sleeping pill. 

The problen is I became used to the dose I was on and require another medication to make me fall asleep right now. Despite the fact that 50 mg of Clozapine was too much for me when I first went on the drug; I am going to up the dose at the end of January so I can sleep without another medication aiding me. It will take some time getting used to the new dose. It’s particularly difficult getting up in the mornings. I mostly sleep to 11:00 am or noon some days. But I do find I don’t sleep until 11:00 pm to 12:00 am. 

Something that is great about Clozapine is that I’m actually feeling better a bit more every month I take it. It helped with my concentration and ability to read and memorize notes for my last class in Reseidential Interiors. I have more energy in a normal day at home. For the first time in two and a half years I have the energy to exercise for anywhere from ten to thirty minutes depending on the exercise. I have been doing 7 minute circuit-training with an application on my phone. It’s hard to do each exercise with only ten seconds rest inbetween but I’m doing it. Before, I never could have dreamed about doing a high intensity workout. I can do longer yoga workouts now, from twenty to thirty minutes and I don’t feel tired afterward; I feel relaxed. I did 10 minutes of intense cardio on the elliptical today and it was good. Maybe, not much for someone else but for me it’s great.

So, I guess you can say I was granted  more energy and the ability to concentrate this year, so I could take better care of my body. I have stopped over-eating and am slowly working the portion sizes of my meals down through weight watchers as I would like to lose some weight. 

The bad thing about psychiatric drugs is that you often gain about 10 lbs from starting a new drug. I had hoped it wouldn’t happen this time but it did. I’m trying to loose about 25 lbs to start. Weight watchers is great because they have an application you can manage everything from and plan your eating day. There are even extra points for treats and points for working out.I drank too much pop such as Pepsi before. When you only have thirty some points to work with in a day, rarely, do you waste ten points on a can of Pepsi that is worth ten points of other things you could be eating more of to fill you up. Veggies and fruit are encouraged as you can eat as many as you want. 

So, I’m trying to stop not being healthy and to make my body the best it can be both physically and mentally. I’m taking some courses in creative writing online at U of Toronto starting in February. So, I am excited for those too. Things are working out as time goes by and I’m able to stop being a person who can’t help herself take better care of her body. 

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A Bit of Everything


www.people.bu.edu
http://www.people.bu.edu

It’s a Thursday morning and there is much to do. I have an assignment to copyedit. I need to go through the newsletter a couple more times to catch all the mistakes. And then I have a 3rd assignment to start. I would like to have it done by the end of February. The assignment is a letter advocating for your client (the author) to your editor or publisher. There is a lot of reading left in Chapter 5 of the Study Guide, in the Appendix, and in the textbook. I just keep on going, hoping I can finish this course before the next one starts and that I have enough ‘good days’ that I can work on my class.

But in-between that I am reading the 3rd book by Sylvain Renard, Gabriel’s Redemption,

www.en.wikipedia.org
http://www.en.wikipedia.org

and you know when you get hooked in a series of books that you just have to finish them. Especially when you get to the 3rd book in the series. And next I am thinking of an interesting undertaking. Since so much of this series from Sylvain was based upon Dante’s Inferno and it is probably free on Kobo, I am thinking that I must read that. I had heard of it in English class, heard that Milton’s Paradise Lost that I studied somewhat related, so I am excited to be reading some classic literature again, in the English version, not the Italian version of course.

photoshopI think that I am not quite done talking about weight and body issues. The problem is I read an article on it and I think how ridiculous it is especially to the extent in which magazines, companies, etc. are photoshopping their models. Now, I’ve always felt that a little photoshopping is good. Enhancing the beauty of the model that is already there, there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with that except that the media has different standards of beauty. Maybe we just need to try to leave models looking the way they look without photoshop except for obvious flaws that no one would like showing such as acne or a tattoo in certain pictures. But sometimes it is too much. I recently saw on an entertainment show a spread for Nicole Kidman who is not young anymore. She looked like she was 22 years old when I’m pretty sure is or is nearly double that age. There is something wrong with that because that is not an attainable look for anyone, including Nicole Kidman. And she is beautiful just the way she is at the age she is. I also watched a slide show where a plus size model was thinned down from her size 12 or so silhouette to a size 4. There was nothing wrong with the way the model looked before, she just looked normal, so why would you change her?

I have never wanted to model before really. It has to do with being in the spotlight. But after some special professional pictures for

www.returnofkings.com
http://www.returnofkings.com

my boyfriend and myself, and some portraits for family and relatives I decided it was actually really fun. I could see how I looked in the pictures the photographers took on the camera and I looked good. Friends told me I looked good. And the strangest thought crossed my mind that if I was tall enough and young enough I would consider plus size modeling because I really think that women and girls need to see what a real woman looks like with little computer perfecting besides blemishes, shiny skin, and bad lighting. Some people would probably say you should show those too but I believe there are good uses for photoshop. But more than that, I believe that we need to as a society step out of that box where we adore thin woman and start showing an ideal that is normal size healthy woman. I have spoken of it so much before and maybe too much. But it saddens me that people would have so much conversation on this subject and that there would be so little change. Dove had the right idea a few years back, even though those commercials annoyed me. Anyways there is one magazine online that I wanted to share with you that I think is great for showing plus sized models while maintaining the look and feel of a magazine like Instyle. The magazine is called DARE and it’s an online magazine that you can take a look at here: http://daremag.uberflip.com/i/126563 .

But that’s all I have to say on that I promise for a good long while. I am watching Team Canada Men’s vs. Norway now on CBC. I am excited to say we are up 2-0. Hopefully, that will be an easy win for us but surprisingly, we are not scoring as easily as I thought. But I hope you are enjoying the Olympics for whatever country you might be from. I love the Winter Olympics, for Canada they are the most exciting!

Also, decided to give up Pepsi for good. The only exception will be once a week when I start my night class as I can’t stay awake without it. Otherwise, I’ve been drinking water and following my diet exactly. I have lost 2 lbs in 3 days so that it pretty exciting. It takes 21 days they say for you to get into the habit of doing something so I’m hoping I can stay in this habit. I have drunk a lot of water which I needed to do before but didn’t really do and I have 1 treat a day now a low-fat granola bar that has chocolate on the outside.

www.carrentalworld.net
http://www.carrentalworld.net

Otherwise, I have dealt with a car rental issue my boyfriend and I had a car rental place. They claimed these little scratches under the car that you had to lean over to see, and were from winter like ice, something no one can help in Edmonton, were damage. The manager was so rude to my boyfriend and I and A refused to sign for the damages. The manager wouldn’t give us a ride home, she told us to walk away and get out of the store. She said she didn’t know anything about cars but that the plastic part of the bumper underneath of the car needed painting and she wouldn’t rent the car out to us even though she had said she would before on the phone, because she couldn’t trust us not to damage the car. As if we did whatever invisible damage she saw on purpose. I have never dealt with someone so un-customer-serviced oriented especially dealing with a client of 2 years. Her tone, her mannerism, was angry and defensive. I was not impressed at all and we had to pay $40.00 cab to get back to my boyfriends apartment.

So up’s and downs this week. But overall pretty good! So two beauty blogs coming out soon for some more LUSH and Benefit and products. Also, maybe I will share with you some of the hair videos I like that are great for easy everyday styles you can do with your hair that take minutes. Take care