Photo (Collage) Prompt: Poem – Free Verse – “Angel Down, Angel Down” #amwriting #poetry #angeldown #ladygaga


Thanks to MindLoveMisery’s Menagerie for hosting this week’s collage prompt: 

http://www.mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com

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Lady Gaga Live – ” Angel Down” 

I’m so thrilled with Lady Gage’s new album. I love her dance and pop-music stuff but her new songs, some of them go deep. This is one of those songs and I used the lyrics “Angel Down” for this poem. What I love is how in the video she is live, and sounds the same as if you were listening to her on her new album. Talented singer! 

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She built her life, she built it strong, made it so —

It wouldn’t fall;but you can fortify —

The keep, make it so no one can slip in, 

There are always cracks within perfection; 

Angel Down, Angel Down. 

——-

You can see the lines forming before she breaks, 

Memories from the past she thought would save. 

She’s safe –an illusion broken when the mirror —

Of life shatters within her face, she’s beat; 

Angel Down, Angel Down. 

——

Trapped in a birdcage, no song to sing, 

Her tunes aren’t lucid and her wings are clipped, 

Such dreams as a young woman, such glad times, 

Now she’s angry, so frustrated — life’s a lie; 

Angel Down, Angel Down.

——

Paints her makeup mask, hide the mirror’s blood tracks, 

She thinks she’s imperfect tries to conceal —

New dress, she’s pretty, long legs on display yet, 

She can’t hide feelings, she doesn’t fit in here;

Angel Down, Angel Down

—–

He said heels were stupid, girls can’t walk on —

Four-inch needles; yet they made her happy.

Night of the dance, stumbled; wore light blue chucks,

Sitting on the radio at the party crying; 

Angel Down, Angel Down.

——

Years pass, another day spent sifting in, 

Her see-through life, on clothing racks, she —

Attempts to find the perfect fit,  but she —

Knows like her, it’s elusive, can’t be found; 

Angel Down, Angel Down.

——-

Music saves some, for others it magnifies

A hurt and hole inside her –can God even fill? 

Remembering hideaways, experiences —

To fill the void within, smile with tears dripping;

Angel Down, Angel Down. 

——-

Time in lavish living rooms, won’t make her, 

Feel love she’s so denied; she can’t even —

Love her own body, isn’t what it was, 

She fingers trinkets bought, fears with tears smear; 

Angel Down, Angel Down.

—-

Jewel she thought would invoke good memories, 

Fill her with hope and joy again; sharp pains of —

Her past; but now her wings have been pried off,  

She’s a habiscus plucked and dying slow; 

Angel Down, Angel Down.

—–

Packing suitcases, her body trembles, 

She’s going on journey; her state of mind —

Broken; but she’s trying to heal and she —

Prays new memories, stop her rapid descent; 

Angel Down, Angel Down. 

—–

Please somebody, please help an Angel Down and —

Unlock her cage –the one she created, 

Show her some love, let her taste freedom. 

Be someone she can trust, so she won’t fade;

Angel Down, Angel Down 

—–

Angel found her feet and flew, 

Sailed above clouds anew;

The sun glints of her smile and–

She’s brand new bird who trills;

Angel Found,  Angel Found. 

——

©Mandibelle16. (2016) All Rights Reserved. 

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It’s Okay to be an Introvert 


 

introvert comic
Introvert Comic http://www.softwarehamilton.com

 

In second year University, I caught the eye of a certain basketball player. He was in an English class with me. He was tall, loud, and had the most beautiful blue eyes. I thought he’d be fun to be with. But it was difficult for me to talk to him. He caused me to feel anxious. I knew I had to only become used to his loudness to be comfortable around him, but I never felt relaxed. He didn’t attempt to get to know me better, to make me feel comfortable around him, despite my shyness.

At first, I was so shy I would ignore him, unless I absolutely ran right into him. I only felt this knot in my stomach and I stuttered when I talked to him. I was extremely frustrated with the entire situation by third year university. I finally told the basketball player I liked him. I told him truthfully, I often didn’t talk to him because I was busy taking five courses and working half-time. I tried to get across to him that when I was busy, I was off in my own world. I was attempting to get him to make an effort and ask me out.

I received a funny look from the basketball player for saying ‘I was in my own world,’ even though he rubbed my back to make me feel better. That was the end. I wasn’t a fun girl to him because I wasn’t outgoing and he didn’t understand how busy my life was.

During the years I had this ‘thing’ with the basketball player, I grew used to other girls I didn’t know talking behind my back, calling me names, and being critical of me. I went to a small university and it often felt like high school because young woman became easily jealous over the smaller guy population.

It took me years to get over the preconceived notion that I was shy — a wrong attribute to have. I learned a guy maybe hot and seem fun, but if he didn’t make the effort for you, you shouldn’t waste your time on him. Sometimes I would build a guy I liked up in my mind, as if they were perfect and not a flawed person. I would have been more comfortable being me if I realized I shouldn’t have to try so hard to please a man I liked. Even someone you are attracted to, and makes you nervous, is approachable if you remember they are only human like you.

Also, I learned when I started working, because a person makes you nervous is no reason to ignore them if they haven’t given you a decent reason to avoid them. The exception to this was catty and gossipy women. I learned some woman are going to be touchy even as adults when they should know better than to spread gossip or call names. These women are people whose mean words you should ignore. Better yet, ask them to repeat what they said so you can hear it clearly this time. Embarrass them.

Most significantly, I learned I was not a shy person but a woman who was often an introvert. It didn’t mean I wasn’t social and fun to be with. But I required time alone to ‘recharge my batteries’ while others ‘recharged their batteries’ off the energy of a crowd.  I liked small groups better than large noisy functions. I felt and still feel a few trustworthy friends is all a girl needs, even though it is fun to meet new people. I also enjoy working independently, or one on one with people. I am extremely talkative in this kind of situation and I feel a more meaningful connections with others in small group settings.

In my opinion, we have a society which is often centred around extroversion. It’s not an acceptable value because it causes people who identify with introversion to feel that if we are shy and not outgoing, there is something wrong with us. There is nothing about a person that is deficient because they are introverted. Certain people are skilled at hiding their insecurities and may appear outgoing but at heart, they are introverts. Some introverts such as myself are more clearly introverted.

I don’t identify with being a shy girl anymore. I’m a listener, a loyal friend, and an observer. I have no problem stating my opinion or saying no. I am happy to be me in the ‘background’ and not taking center stage. This doesn’t mean I never get noticed. It means the right people notice me and take me as I am. I want to be around people who see introversion as a vital part of society, not a hindrance.

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©Mandibelle16. All Rights Reserved.

Communication – it can be frustrating!


English: iphone Deutsch: iphone

My friends might call me quiet, even a bit shy sometimes (or at least I feel shy sometimes) but when I want something to occur I am a very straightforward communicator. I say what I want and have no problems about asking for that something. I might have a nice way of asking for it, or have a roundabout way of getting to tell you what I want, but I’ll get there and as soon as I can. Moreover, I plan ahead – I have learned that I have to. Having a limited amount of energy to do things means that I have to plan in times (days) I can just rest and plan times when I really have to (or want to) get things done.  As a communicator then I will ask a week often more, in advance events I would like to do with friends like coffee dates, dinners, wine tastings, etc. This is between doctor appointments, school, occupational therapist visits, and all the other stuff I need to get done in the month. I like to have a balanced calendar and it can be a bit stressful when I have too many things to do and not enough time to unwind. Things get cancelled, people you want to see do not get seen, and appointments do not go very well.

I can also do only one big thing in a day. So if I spend 4-5 hours going to school that’s my activity. If I spend 4-5 hours hanging out a night with some friends on the patio that too is my activity. But not both. So sometimes this whole planning and communication can be a little difficult to explain and work around when you are meeting new people. Many people are used to just going where ever they feel like when ever they feel it, when time permits them. They do not understand about organizing and planning something; Incidently, I do not only think planning is necessary for me, but for anybody who is trying to accomplish certain activities or goals in their life. I understand people work that they are constrained by work hours and things like there families and other responsibilities but I get really frustrated when people leave things to the last minute with me. It sucks to be waiting around all day for someone to tell you if they are or are not going to be doing something with you, or at what time (because you do not want to tire yourself out because then you could not do anything with them). It also makes me feel like I’m not important, like I am a last thought or someone they are  doing something with because nothing better came up. If someone is important to you make the time to see them and tell them when approximately you want to visit them. Tell them what your thinking in regard to your plans, you owe other people that much; be accountable. Everyone else has to be accountable to the important people in their life, why shouldn’t you?

Communicaton can be really difficult and figuring out how someone communicates whether through talking, telephone, or email can be especially difficult. With some people you know if you do not bother them and bother them they will not communicate back to you. Some people you can count on to get back to you right away. Sometimes you know people will not get back to you right away, but they will get back to you eventually. I think you should be able to expect that people within reason will get back to you as a common curteousy. Now sometimes people forget, get busy, but sometimes not – and that is when I get frustrated. Communication is not clear cut as much as I would like it to be, a lot of times we as people are left to figure out how to communicate back with someone, if we want to communicate back to a person at all, or if we simply sit back and let someone else enniate communication.

As for me, I have decided that there are certain people in my life I will wait for, and certain people I will not. I try to be courteous and give people chances but after a while you are either in or you are out, or you are in that gray area I assign to people I do not think I will hear from, but some day unexpectedly I just might. But what I would really like is just to know the day of an event, what is happening? What time are we leaving? And how should I dress? In the end that’s what I care about. If you could give me that curteousy, I would much appreciate it and so would other people I know.