Today’s prompt is See Me. I love the simplicity and strength of this statement. What is it that you wish others knew about you? What would you want those in your closest relationships to acknowledge? What is your truth?
Credit: Michael Matkezo
You might see me,
You might not.
You might peer behind paintings,
Under the table,
Into the cavernous closet,
Darkness swiping with claws.
You might see me,
You might not.
You might have a sense of humor,
Drifting down the hallways,
Laughter trickling, a babbling brook,
A bridge that draws me closer.
You might see my bare face stained red with tears;
When I was in university my friends and I enjoyed going to country bars often. If you ask many woman they will tell you how country singers, male or female, have a kind of talent you can’t fake. They have genuinely wonderful voices as most of them can sing with nothing but a guitar. Moreover, a country song is the best song to dance too whether it’s an upbeat tune or a tear-jerker ballad to slowly dance along with. I was and am also a big fan of line dancing, it’s a lot easier to catch onto than two stepping for me.
I have always had trouble two-stepping because I find it difficult to keep in time — despite playing piano for ten years. Several times I remover thinking I finally understood the rhythm of two-stepping and than the next time my friends and I went out, I’d find I could no longer do the correct steps. Maybe I had to be drunk too do it? I’m not sure but usually I faked it as best as I could. I can do some basic two stepping moves — some simple steps, turns, and twists but I always ended up messing up the rhythm and stepping on my partners feet. My biggest fear was being pulled onto the dance floor alone with a guy, forced to two step in front of a crowd as some of my girl friends had had happen quite a few times. Not surprisingly, however, the best two-steppers can make a terrible dancer appear as a decent one.
On one occasion I was out at a country bar with a bunch of girl friends and the night was winding down. The last energetic set of songs were being played by the DJ and a hot bartender who had been giving me eye all night , pulled me onto the dance floor twisting and turning me, even picking me up and making me squeal. I was embarrassed because I knew I sucked at two stepping. Had it been a slow song at least I could have gotten by with a simple waltz and faked two-stepping.
Instead, I was at the center of attention in the bar being thrown into the air, swished off the dance floor, spun, and turned by this bartender who was an amazing dancer and always kept us moving to the right rhythm. We remained dancing for about three songs and even though I kept messing up, the bartender only laughed and kept moving me in such a way that my mistakes were not obvious. It was exhilarating and dizzying as we moved speedily from one end of the dance floor to another, back and forth, than again.
Finally I had enough as the upbeat songs became slow dance songs and the bar was emptying out as last call had passed much earlier. Everyone around the dance floor clapped as the bartender escorted me to the place he was tending bar. He winked at me and poured me a drink before we clinked glasses. A minute later the bartender was called away and I slipped out cabbing home with my friends who teased me knowing I hate being the centre of attention when I’m clueless. It might have been nice to talk more with the bartender, but we had all drunk a lot and were falling asleep in the early morning hours.
Having to do something like that in front of a crowd, something I was terrible at, was a first for me. But a sexy bartender and his amazing two stepping skills saved my inept dancing in front of a lot of people. As it was, I’m pretty sure most of the crowd was too drunk to note my missed steps and my high heels on the bartenders poor feet.
“We Were Us” – Keith Urban featuring Miranda Lambert
What’s my reason to appease him?
He is only human but inside him lies a heart that beats
Even as my own cries against him “retreat.”
I couldn’t tell you the reason for it, better then I could tell him.
Billy Joel sang, ” She’ll do as she pleases, she’s nobodies fool.”
And ” She can’t be convicted she’s earned her degree.”
To describe that a woman’s reasons are purely her own.
I need please no one…
But I can’t convince him to stop loving me, I might break him and I’d be responsible.
He’s fighting for us, but I don’t see why he fights for a girl who has ran again and again.
I don’t think it’s a good idea, but he’s pulling me in spiced words on his lips
“This could be our future, I have made these plans.”
But what am I losing if I give in.
The heart of rebellion speaks freely through me:
” I am a woman and I’ll state my case, I came when I wanted, I’ll leave when I choose, if you see me again it’s my liberty I’ll lose.”
But he travels where he wishes in paths with his voice, telling me all things that I should want to hear.
He is fighting for love, I’m fighting to forget, I’m fighting to get loose, I’m fighting a threat?
Set me free into the sunset that I might choose my own happy ending.
I could go on if I wish, and leave things as they always are
I could be grateful that some guy chose to love me at all.
But he doesn’t see it, and he doesn’t get it, what good is his love if I don’t return it.
There are many kinds of love and he doesn’t see the frailty of ours,
Well I’m not sure it’s so thick, I think it might be plastic —
And you can’t tell me my intuition is off, love isn’t all you need.
And I could be free to start from scratch build my own life, or I could be trapped
But he won’t give in, he just doesn’t get it.
I’ve moved down the path and I’m in the rabbit hole, If I come out now I could get foxed.
I just need a lot of time to think. I just need time away
Maybe then I’ll go shooting black, but maybe I just need time to grow and become the person I need to become – more then nice, a falcon with beating wings of black to fly, with talons to let go and rip a part, and rapid cold eye to see wisdom and what it provides.