Poem: A Night at Home


alone girl
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On a lonely Saturday night she sat at home, turning textbook pages. She was supposed to be reading but the words blurred before her.

Like any other night she was at home, no place to go when you have limited energy. No place to go when your friends are coupled up.

The night outside was peaceful, and it was warm for November. When the darkness rolled in, it was fast a midnight sky.

And the stars twinkled down on her, she hadn’t seen them glimmer in ages; she felt as if they knew her secrets, that she longed to be strong again.

But the stars had heard billions of pleas for change and prayer to prevent suffering. They reigned down supreme as many begged to Him ‘on high’ for relief.

The snow lit the ground so it was slightly easier to see. When you drove home it shone, a white neon sign that was to remain until April.

And the houses with their lights off were slightly alarming. The world was out celebrating that the holidays were here. But some people were just stuck, marinating in their chairs.

But not everyone could party on warm nights. Some such as her, had things to do and places to be tomorrow.

But what she wouldn’t trade to be as most everyone, to not have to worry when the clock struck midnight. Not to have to feel a sickening in her stomach.

To not feel a terrible exhaustion hit her and feel herself fading away while the people around her move like puppets, never knowing that for her something isn’t right

The sound becomes to much, her ears are hurting. There are too many people here now. And she runs for the door only to be stopped by a woman she knows little, slurring her words on Bourbon.

Yes, better to stay at home and have a glass of wine. Better to stay at home and ace the exam on Tuesday. Better to be well for tomorrow and do some Christmas browsing. Better to be well.

But she can’t stop from wanting what she knows she can’t have. She prays every night but He ‘on high’ keeps whispering for her to go on, how she is. She’ll be fine.

And for her, that’s not an option. That’s not a choice. That is a sentence given and she lacks the power to change her direction.

Flipping pages is alright some of the time. But some nights are for party dresses, and high heels. Some nights are for music and a fantastic meal.

Some nights are for friends and staying up until dawn. Some nights are for memories that keep carrying you on.

But some nights are for typing and writing a poem. Writing on the screen what she is thinking and wondering if anything will change.

Or if the world will keep on spinning endlessly, ignoring her prayers. But she keeps on writing because it’s an escape from her mind.

Where the wheels are turning and the clock won’t go round, wondering when she can again begin; to begin anew, does that take until New Years?

—–

 

©Mandibelle16. All Rights Reserved.

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Monday and a Crazy Time Change


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Hi everyone!  It’s Monday and I think Monday’s are always difficult even if you don’t have to go to an office. There is just something about Mondays. The world just doesn’t run the right way at the beginning of the week. Everyone is tired, and it’s hard to get into your school work or job work.

Especially with this fall time change, we know it will be an accident-prone and less productive work week for people from countries who participate in the time change. Yesterday, I learned that it is not because of farmers that we have this time change. In fact, the time change was started by Germany in 1915 to conserve energy. People would spend less energy lighting their homes because they had to get up an hour earlier. Much of Europe, the US, and Canada followed suit with Germany. Ironically enough, we spend more money on energy now because of the time change in Canada at least. The CBC has an interesting article on the time change here.

Also, how did your Halloween weekend go? Facebook was flooded with images of children and families (including pets) all dressed up. It was interesting to see the variety of costumes and how many good natured parents and grandparents dressed up with their children or grandchildren. I don’t recall my parents doing that (LOL) but I don’t blame them for it. I think dressing up your kid or pet is difficult enough. Some parents go all out, especially if your family has a “theme.” Some Moms were thinking ahead this year when they planned their families’ costumes.

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What I would like to try some year is to paint my face-up artistically as a deer or lion (some type of animal.) Face painting has become wonderfully realistic since the nineties. With contouring becoming popular in regular makeup and better face paints besides those sticks that have been around forever, people can paint their  own or their child’s face fantastically! I wasn’t up to doing a lot this Halloween. I had planned on attending a scary haunted house at Fort Edmonton but the tickets for the event sold out fast. I should have put more thought into that earlier.

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But to tell you the truth, I was just too involved studying for my Residential Furnishings midterm (that I thought would be as intense as the Art History midterms and finals I experienced in University) that I didn’t think about Halloween including a costume, face paint, and/or buying tickets for an event. But I did hand out candy to the thirteen kids who came to visit our house for candy. We are close to a park called Rundle Park, it’s lovely especially in the Summer  and is picturesque in Autumn. But it seems the kids trick’o’treating don’t come down far into our neighbourhood. It’s a shame because the kids who did come received a fistful of candy. We are generous at our house. Better that someone else’s kid should eat the candy than any of us.

Additionally, I was getting bored with the theme of my blog so I went through a few different themes this morning and settled on one. I hope you like the new look of the blog and that the header of the red shoes that is a painting, isn’t to blurry and close up. I still have a few things to fix on the blog, but for tonight it will do. Let me know what you think of the new theme? Is there too much on the bottom header where my biography is located? 

I am also about to start a paper and project for my class. I have to choose a certain amount of furniture/art from different eras and design a showroom with brochures and an essay on the theme. I’m thinking about doing it on pieces from a certain periods for example, the Gothic era and then the revival of the Gothic era, Gothic Revival (in the Victorian Era). I think it would be fascinating to put the actual time period of something together with other pieces that tried to emulate it years later. So, that’s the main idea and I need to start tomorrow.  I only have three weeks of time to complete my project.

IMG_0399Is it bad that I have started to think about Christmas? Not to diminish Rememberance Day November 11th here in Canada, but I think the birth of Baby Jesus has a great deal to do with veterans. 

Anyways, every year finding gifts for people seems to get harder. It’s always hit and miss with gifts because one year one person likes their gift and another person wants to return their gift. I think for 2015, I am going to give gift cards. Some people think it’s impersonal but I think that people often have ideas of what they want sometimes and would prefer money or gift cards towards that item or service. Christmas cards take the longest time to write, especially if you are trying to say something personal. I try to write something meaningful. I don’t look up a Hallmark quote and throw it on the card. At least the card can be personal even if the giftcard with it is less so. 

Moreover,  I am anticipating Friday. The new James Bond Spectre is out in the movies.Danial Craig I enjoy Daniel Craig as James Bond. He brought something unique to the part,  grittiness , and great live action chase scenes, that some of the other James Bond movies didn’t contain. I wonder who will play the next James Bond? They need someone to start out at a bit younger age than Daniel Craig did, so he can be in more films. Tom Hardy, was one name I heard was being considered but I don’t really think he has that suave demeaner that James Bond encompasses. Who do you think should play James Bond after Daniel Craig is finished the role, after the James Bond movie after Spectre ? Any other movies you are looking forward to? I can’t wait for the last Hunger Games movie Mockingjay Part II. Jennifer Lawrence is amazing as Katniss and I love Liam Hemsworth who plays Gale too. Katniss should end up with Gale, not Peta.Team Gale!

Enjoy your week everyone. I will have the regular picture/word prompt stories and some poems coming out. I am thinking about some pieces I can do that are different from my regular posts. Since last month was National Poetry Writing Month, I am considering going back and doing that this month. I love poetry! But I am not sure, I also might be doing Writing 101 to keep busy. Cheers!

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