There you have it! I have uttered the words I never thought I would say. I am not just sick of shopping and fashion, I have become a junky. You see there is a certain high you get, a rush of endorphins, from buying that beautiful dress or that fine silk shirt. There is an addiction behind every Pinterest post in Women’s Clothing, to see where that lovely pair of shoes came from. There is an addictive quality to every issue of Instyle that I pour over; I trace that pretty dress back to the website it came from loving its supposed uniqueness. And as I browse through the mall I feel like I have to get something, just a little something – I need that hair spray varnish that makes your hair shine; I need that lace skirt because well it is a-line and that is hard to find in a skirt, plus it’s lace and that is so ‘in’ and so lovely.
I think after the month of picking out the perfect Christmas presents – I
have had enough of the mall at least. Today walking through the mall I only bought what I needed. I bought bus tickets, stamps, Christmas cards, and hair volumizer because I really did actually need that stuff. I am becoming better at the mall, ignoring Jacob, Banana Republic, Le Chateau, Sephora. It just seems I am always buying stuff and I’m sick of it; yet some things I really do need!
And do not get me started on the Internet. On line shopping has become an addiction that I cannot shake. Unlimited or nearly unlimited selection and sizing. Easy returns that include return shipping labels and or free shipping for $50.00. Groupons and Living Socials to Spas – sometimes they save money but let’s face it I’m addicted and bored and when I start not receiving those packages in the mail and deals to the spa; I feel empty – that shopping high fades and I’m left with that empty feeling: what does a girl with health problems, whose ability to work and do physical activity is not very big do? I do not know how I will just stop but I know now after my last order comes in that will be it for the shopping of clothing and accessories; this time I have to break the habit and find that high somewhere else, where I do not know. Writing helps but I used to get that rush of endorphins from exercise so now where?
I have these lofty goals you see. To save and pay off my credit card- it’s not too high but high enough! I want to save in tax free savings. Save so in May I can actually spend just a little bit on shopping in Montreal. I need to save for the future. But this shopping addiction is dangerous for me – I just need more things to do, less things that involve browsing the Internet for clothes. It has become a hobby, has always been one and I still want to be fashionable but I want to follow my budget too. I need to learn how to do this now for life. So yes, I hate shopping and fashion, the thorn in my side!
But what is really in the balance here besides financial stability is self control; and one must always have self control to some extent. In this case, it is okay for me to buy an outfit once a month, it is not okay for me to do this every week.
I feel very disconcerted admitting this. But think of it as an early New Years resolution; but it’s better to just start doing something, than to wait and do more damage. Along with the usual ‘do more exercise’ I will do almost no excess shopping. I’ll buy only what I need and ignore those longings for spring dresses, holiday cuffs that sparkle, and silky lingerie – I love Victoria Secret – but no longer. I have built my dream wardrobe, all the clothes I never could buy before – funny thing is being ill- I often have no place to wear them. Life is ironic.
So anything like shopping, you find addictive ( besides drugs) any advice about gaining self control and financial stability? Let me know.
Boredom is an emotional state experienced when an individual is left without anything in particular to do, and is not interested in their surroundings. The first recorded use of the word boredom is in the novel Bleak House by Charles Dickens, written in 1852, in which it appears six times, although the expression to be a bore had been used in the sense of “to be tiresome or dull” since 1768. The French term for boredom, ennui, is sometimes used in English as well. (Wikipedia 1).
To be bored; what a tiresome awful way to feel. But of course, the problem is that everyone at some time or another has been bored.
For me boredom became a way of life about 3 years ago when I became sick. Suddenly, I had all this time that I had not had before. Before I was sick, I worked, hung out with my friends all night, worked out, and spent my remaining time hanging with my family and reading – there was simply not enough time in the day to do everything I wanted! But once I became sick, I could painfully feel each minute ticking by and there was never enough things that I could do to fill my time. Part of my feeling this way was dealing with a depressive episode that I had just had; I became a great deal more impatient and did not have the energy to do anything for very long. I was also irritable and sleepy. Not to mention I had 8.5 hours a day which I had worked that I now had to fill with different activities – and nobody was home to do most of these activities with me.
The first thing my mom told me to do when I told her about how long and boring my days felt was to develop a routein. She told me to make a list of the things I wanted to do and whatever I could accomplish on this list, that I would do. If I did not have the energy or motivation to do all of that list than those items I could not do were carried over to the next day. At first this was very hard to do, I was not use to watching much TV so I did not watch it much at first and I managed to break my day into 1 hour or so blocks of time that I spent doing different activities: I woke up at 9 am and got ready until 11 am (because yes even blow drying your hair and putting on makeup was hard at first). Then I read for an hour until lunch at 12pm. From 12:30 to to 2 pm I would paint or scrapbook, do something easy like that and then nap from 2 to 4 pm. At 4 pm I got up to watch What Not To Wear and by five everybody else was home from work and I spent the night making dinner, talking with my family, and watching television. Some afternoons I would go to the gym instead of scrapbooking etc. and some evenings I would spend a few hours with a friend or two having coffee or eating supper. I was pretty sick and this was all I could manage. Nevertheless, having a routein really helped me get through the day, made each day worth getting through, and gave me something to look forward to.
Now over the past couple years, my health has improved and I have become better able to manage a normal routein. I fill my time going to class, working on projects for school, going to various social gatherings, shopping, doing yoga, walking my dog, along with many of the other activities I did when I first became sick. Eventually, I hope to add some other activities to my routein such as being able to go out past 10:00 pm again and stay awake, going to they gym 2 or 3 times a week, and of course working full or part time. But these things will come in time. The important thing is that I maintain a routein and that is how I get through my day, what keeps me from becoming bored. Having a routein does not mean that I cannot change it up – some days I excercise different ways – do pilates, go on the elliptical, rollerblade, walk a different route. Some days I just spend having fun with a friend, somedays I just have to spend doing school work, and somedays I go somewhere I like to go like a different mall, any kind of coffee shop, book shop, a different gym, or any type of unique shop or business. Somedays I am so fatigued and just have to rest. When you are sick for a long time you have to find lots of different ways and places and people to talk to, you have to make an effort not be bored. Having a routein helps this, but so does keeping it interesting. Whatever, you can do thats what you do, all on the road back to better health.
Moreover, if you are just someone with a lot of time on your hands a routein can work too. You can routeinly take different classes, join different clubs, volunteer at places such as The Rock in Edmonton, AB (serving breakfast to the homeless in the inner city). You can also spend time with all those people you’ve been meaning to see, but just have not gotten around to seeing – like your grandma. As much as I hate to say it, there is definatly something good about just staying home one or two days and catching up on the newest episodes of shows you have missed on TV, online or Ondemand; or downloading or renting movies off of Itunes, Ondemand, or Netflix. There is so much going on, too much going on to be bored. No matter how sick you are, or how bored you think you are, just get out there and try anything.
In conclusion, by having a routein and keeping your routein interesting I believe anyone can avoid, Charles Dicken’s dreaded boredom from Bleak House, maybe not all the time, but atleast most of the time.