Writing 101 – 3 Important Songs in My Life


1. Christina Aguilera – Fighter

 

This song represents to me a women who will never give up and never break no matter how much you push her. She is a strong women, “a fighter,” and she’s not going to let the man who was in her life or anyone else win that fight. In fact, she thanks the guy who hurt because he made her what she is and he has made her “stronger,” ” makes her work a little bit harder,”  made her “that much wiser,” made her work ” a little bit faster,” made her “skin a little bit thicker” made her ”  that much smarter.” She thanks him for making her “a fighter.”

I started playing this song when I meant K in university. He was the first guy I’d ever been crazily attracted to and I knew he liked me back. The thing was I was awful shy and I didn’t handle the situation well and when I couldn’t deal with so much attention I tended to ignore the person giving it to me.  Then I realized he wasn’t paying me much attention anyways. He had a harem of girls at his table and even though I sat by myself in the Cafeteria and he would wave to me he never came to talk to me and he never shared anything much about himself with me when he did. He acted bored when I sat by him and finally when I told him I liked him and that sometimes I ignored him because ” I was in my own world” or to say it better, I was busy as hell, to busy to put up with his crap — taking 5 courses in University, working 20 hours a week, going to the gym, and partying with my girl friends on the weekend — he took this the wrong way. But I had finally figured out that he liked the fact that I  liked him but didn’t want to make a real effort for me, I was just another girl who was a friend, but not that important.

I started listening to this song and I realized that even though he was a jerk he had made me a stronger person. I spent all this time worrying about him when I was better than the way he was treating me, many other guys who were friends treated me better. I was a fighter and I wasn’t going to cry and get all upset because he wouldn’t give me the time a day. He was my first love ( or so I thought at the time) but later I learned he was just the beginning of a stronger me. A me that could push herself and get through very hard times like sickness, and a difficult job, a me that could survive rejection, a me that was wearer and carried her strength about her like a cloak. It isn’t always obvious but God made me a strong women he made me a fighter, a women who knows what’s worth fighting for.

2. Billy Joel – She’s Always A Woman

She’s Always a Woman is one of my favorite songs and I could hear it hundreds of times and never get sick of it. I love it because it describes a man who loves a women who is most definitely flawed; that she’s flawed is of great value to her person. For example ” she never gives out, and she never gives in, she just changes her mind” but she’s still “always a woman” to him. I have always thought that this is the way that people should love each other: because of their flaws and all their imperfections. When I met the right man one day, I wanted him to love me like this because I was “frequently kind and suddenly cruel,” because ” I did as [I pleased I] was nobodies fool.” I wanted him to love me just as I am and not because he had some image of how he wanted me to be or thought I should be. It’s the kind of the love that doesn’t count mistakes and I kind of love immortalized by John Donne in a poem whose name escapes me where he loves a women even though she is clearly not the most beautiful or perfect creature.

I have put this kind of love to practice in my life when I love my family or love my friends, when I meet new people. I don’t try to push such high standards on people, something I used to do, instead I try to accept people for who they are and try not to get so upset when they do something that hurts me. I’ve learned to realize they are only human to and worthy of love anyways. I think if people put this to practice more they would find like Billy Joel there is beauty in being flawed and that our flaws make us who we are. Nobody could love someone who is perfect because nobody is perfect and can’t be held to that standard.

3. The Fray – Be Still

I think this is the most important song to me because when I think of the song I think of the Bible verse “Be Still, and know that I am the Lord Your God.” I think of the song as God or someone who loved you without failing, watching over you, and telling you to just “Be Still” and relax. “Be Still”  and everything will be fine. It’s like a lullaby. “If no one is standing beside you, be still and know I am” that line always reassure me that we always have God and people in our life to depend on. That when things get really bad,  and they do, we always have a higher power and family and friends to guard against the situations in life where we are hurting and falling apart.

This song puts me to sleep some nights when I feel at my lowest. It makes me feel like I am not alone in my suffering nor in my life. That there is a tomorrow to look forward to and that times won’t always be this bad. That we should “remember hard” the words to “Be Still” and not spend time worrying about the bad times in our life that we cannot change. That even when we lose sight of ourselves, there is always someone who remembers us and cares.

 

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Retreat


What’s my reason to appease him?
He is only human but inside him lies a heart that beats
Even as my own cries against him “retreat.”
I couldn’t tell you the reason for it, better then I could tell him.
Billy Joel sang, ” She’ll do as she pleases, she’s nobodies fool.”
And ” She can’t be convicted she’s earned her degree.”
To describe that a woman’s reasons are purely her own.
I need please no one…

But I can’t convince him to stop loving me, I might break him and I’d be responsible.
He’s fighting for us, but I don’t see why he fights for a girl who has ran again and again.
I don’t think it’s a good idea, but he’s pulling me in spiced words on his lips
“This could be our future, I have made these plans.”
But what am I losing if I give in.
The heart of rebellion speaks freely through me:
” I am a woman and I’ll state my case, I came when I wanted, I’ll leave when I choose, if you see me again it’s my liberty I’ll lose.”
But he travels where he wishes in paths with his voice, telling me all things that I should want to hear.
He is fighting for love, I’m fighting to forget, I’m fighting to get loose, I’m fighting a threat?
Set me free into the sunset that I might choose my own happy ending.

I could go on if I wish, and leave things as they always are
I could be grateful that some guy chose to love me at all.
But he doesn’t see it, and he doesn’t get it, what good is his love if I don’t return it.
There are many kinds of love and he doesn’t see the frailty of ours,
Well I’m not sure it’s so thick, I think it might be plastic —
And you can’t tell me my intuition is off, love isn’t all you need.
And I could be free to start from scratch build my own life, or I could be trapped
But he won’t give in, he just doesn’t get it.
I’ve moved down the path and I’m in the rabbit hole, If I come out now I could get foxed.
I just need a lot of time to think. I just need time away
Maybe then I’ll go shooting black, but maybe I just need time to grow and become the person I need to become – more then nice, a falcon with beating wings of black to fly, with talons to let go and rip a part, and rapid cold eye to see wisdom and what it provides.