Poem: Free Verse – “Thick, Thin, and Tequila” #amwriting #poetry


Polyvore on Pinterest

———

You balance out my dance, 

And it isn’t per-chance, 

You’re the same women who tipped, 

Me back with a few drinks ten-years-ago.
Who talked to me in words much deeper

Much clearer than my confused soul.

You understood the words of my heart

Despite tequila, despite red red wine,

Maybe, even despite the way I was acting —

Dragged down by life’s issues, 

You always knew what I was hiding

Those secrets destroying me,

Never stayed hidden long. 

You laughed and you smiled

Gave me hugs and even —

A shot of apple whiskey, 

Or possibly a jello shooter.

In younger years we may have —

Only been egging each other on to drink, 

But we also learned to say to each other, 

Friend, I think you’ve had enough.” 

We’ve learned to have good times, 

Drinking nothing but tea, 

Or a single glass of our favourite wine. 

You’re always happy to see me, 

And I miss being closer to all of you. 

In these years you encourage me, 

For a few hours, for an early night —

To for a moment forget

The problems which haunt me,

You forget yours too —

We have fun, play some games

You tell me to —

“Celebrate with us and let life’s troubles —

Go up in the fire’s smoke. 

Forget your health, your other woes, 

Know us better, we know you best,” 

Years do not contest, the same kind faces, 

Always there, from nights at the bar, 

To tamer houses parties because —

Responsibilities they matter more now. 

You balance out my dance,

My friends, my connections

To myself, the real world, 

The way things could be, would be —

The way things are, 

You balance out my dance, 

In ways tequila never stood a chance, 

 My history, my friends, 

My ones I have chosen, as you’ve chosen me,

To walk with me as adults, 

Maybe someday in our old-age? 

For now we play games and laughter rings, 

It’s contagious and sets me free.

Cheers my soul, 

That unknowingly

You would lift my burdens from me

Give me pause and make me think. 

(The adult sipping on her Zinfandel, 

To make the tequila flavour go away.)

My friends, confidents,

Who accept me for me,

You set me free and give me faith, 

That I can face the bad guys, 

Live another day;

Just to see you all laugh uproarasly.

To see a fire glow and gleam, 

Beneath the silver moon,

And a game of flippy-cup by fires light. 

Some things never change. 

Friends playing, and in all seriousness saying:

“Everyone needs a night or two, 

To let go and live freely, 

And not overthink.” 

Your bestfriends give you liberty

Your best friends hold on to you

Through thick, thin, and tequila. 

——-

©Mandibelle16. (2016) All Rights Reserved. 

Advertisements

Poems: Free Verse  – “Chivilry is Dead; Love Lives” #amwriting #poetry


http://www.polyvore.com

———

Swords, steel reflecting light, might against might;
Who has the stronger arm; who’se trained to perfection? 

End ridiculous contestants, challenging each other, 

Coming to blows over Ladies, with medieval weaponry.

Put your duelling pistols away, live through dawn;

You combat with each other as you choose, 

It means little to me; chivalry the grim has scythed.

——-

Twenty-first-century woman, with poise taking on life.

Chivalry, extinct and never truthfully was ‘in,’

It was a gest, a game the court played for King and Queen,

Beneath the game, feigned affection reigned.

No thought for the personal freedoms of a Lady, 

No thought for the woman; she was owned.

At the hub of a wheel of chilviry, the Princess on her throne.

Married off on a white horse, to a dashing young Prince.

He a tyrant, spinning the cogs and wheels of his kingdom.

She primps, preens, performing a show;  

Accepting her Prince’s knight’s fealty; his dying love,

On battle field, the enemy soldiers ran the knight through.

Courtly manners, hide whispered secrets;

Lethal games, converging in mortality; bloody corpses.

 Hold your swords away, do not thrust or perry for attention.

The world has out-grown “pissing contests.”

—–

Win the woman of your dreams, with humour, 

Demonstrate, actual life, not fairy tales, can be fun together.

Your wife can be your lover; your lover your wife,

No having a woman pure enough for wifely duties, 

And a mistress a man loved and made actual love to.

Forget Authorian Legend and courtly love; it’s rules are lore.

Buy your own Lady gloriously coloured flowers,

Take her for a night dancing; giving a memory to smile about.

Together is being with all of your close friends, 

Together is melding your families;

Being united by oath; an agreement between you both.

A Lady is no longer the Princess on the courtly pedastool;

 A man is no longer the white knight; we’ve put to rest fairy tales.

Netflix and chill on the couch; a stately royal date,

Closing the leather bound, dusty history’s books, 

On weird courtship rituals, forced marriages, and chivalry.

More than anything, chivalry was a literary tradition.

Yet, the modern era cries; find your soulmate if you can.

Most parents finished arranging marriages,

A new way to win the bride, to win the Lady.

——

Love her for more than her sexuality, her ability to have children; 

Love her though she is flawed and not entirely ideal.

Love her forever, your heart beating for her;

Chilviry in true form; hides in the modern world.

Equality of woman and men; yet woman adore being catered to,

How lovely to be spoiled; treated as if you were special despite feminism.

Only, keep your swords and your pistols in the vaults of history, 

A game of fists won’t usually solve the problem.

Slipping in through the cracks of ice in her shield, 

Growing warmth and heat, so her hard heart beats, 

Thawing out the cold; letting spring light up her voice, 

Allowing the light in her eyes to flourish and glow, 

Hiding winters barren drought filled radiation.

Rays of light, they ignite and bring fire to her tears, 

Bring a Princess, ignored and used —

Into the modern-era; she’s your Lady, so you treat her well, 

And all her love acquire in return.

——–

©Mandibelle16. (2016) All Rights Reserved.

Maydays: Poem – Free Verse – “Left Out.” #Maydays #amwriting



——

Thanks to K.L. Caley from new2writing for hosting #Maydays prompts. I skipped the prompt about geeking out for now. But am going to write about today’s prompt on friendship. My view in my poem today is that even though friendship is excellent, there are times it is frustrating. 

——-

http://www.pinterest.com

——-

I know all my friends are out, 

And I’m stuck inside.

I know we’re true adults now, 

I still feel left out.

As if I wasn’t living life, 

As if I’ve missed so much to time.

Conversations and memories, 

I was never privy too.

——-

Maybe I’ll never grow up,

Maybe a job high up isn’t so vital.

I’m making life up as I go, 

It’s the best I can do, 

I wish sometimes you understood, 

It’s extremely difficult for me sometimes, 

Not only dealing with what life throws at you,

But trying to work through problems, 

Going through a veil, more like a brick wall —

Somedays.

——-

Cancer is killing my friend, 

I don’t know if she knows, 

How wonderful a friend she is to me,

And I don’t know why but she always, 

Floods the room with her beautiful light.

She has cancer and yet, 

Her energy level is much better than mine.

I don’t know how to make my best friends understand, 

They do, but sometimes, 

They don’t see anything at all.

——

Two hours in, needing to sit down and not move, 

Having eaten two pieces of cake, 

One I shouldn’t have eaten. 

Brought the hostess wine, 

Do all the right things to be a gracious guest.

But rarely, do I feel ‘in’ on all the things going on.

I don’t know that feeling anymore, 

I’m used to friends talking around me, 

My mind fading in and out.

I try to pay attention, all the hours I’m out, 

Don’t treat me as a child, like I can’t handle life.

Like I can’t handle honest words and your normal lives, 

Mental illness is a bitch and people have little thought, 

Of what you’re working past.

People may think things, 

At this point I assume my besties understand my battle, 

But maybe they don’t understand?

——

Maybe it’s still a disease people feel uncomfortable about, 

Because they’re grown up into adults with jobs.

They have kids and careers, 

They’ve the normal life.

I’m at home after years, fighting to have energy, 

Writing writing, who picks that as a career? 

But my dreams live and drive me forward.

No matter if my story is polished and presentable, 

I make myself impeccable.

Nice hair and makeup, 

Cute clothes for my size, 

Trying to be thin, like most of them, 

Pretty as them, but more width to my hips.

——

Striving for someone to take interest in me, 

Not feel I’m doing nothing with my life, 

Ask questions about me and be curious, 

Just as I am curious about your life.

Don’t talk over me, 

I know you all have your own fights, 

Cancer the biggest I believe right now.

I wish because of it, you’d understand me more too.

I’m launching myself forward, 

But I must move to a slower pace.

I don’t want to lose my best friends, 

I don’t want to be the only one who feels, 

We need to stay in touch.

——–

An attractive guy would be nice,

A listener, a toucher, a hockey game lover.

I’d love a dog and our own condo, 

No debt, and the ability to exercise well.

All these things I want, 

With boundless energy, 

No more worry about what my friends think of my illness.

Just like them, normal.

——

I want safety in his touch,

Seeking closeness with him and equality.

Connected to me, he’s not half-treating me, 

As of I’m forever a spoiled kid, 

Just because I need a ride.

Because I’m not well enough to drive.

Themes that under lie my life at times, 

Girls looking above me, raising their noses, 

Not knowing I fly in stars and midnight showers of rain.

Soaked to the bone in my imagination, 

Dipping my toes in the rain as I write, 

Sharing my gift and my faith, 

Wisdom of magic and belief.

——

©Mandibelle16. (2016) All Rights Reserved.

Maydays: Flash Fiction – Forgiveness and Fate #Maydays



——-

Thank you to K.L. Caley of new2writing for hosting #Maydays prompts. Today’s theme is a transforming friendship, someone you or a character didn’t like, but now do.


——–

Ever since Cale started staring at me with his aqua-blue eyes and short blond hair, my pulse speeds up and I think I’m going to faint.

“Hi, ” Cale says to me as I pass him in the cafeteria.

 “Hi, how are you?” I say trembling

“Jane, right?” 

“Yeah and you’re Cale. How’d you know my name?” 

“Oh, I asked a couple of girls who I’m friends with from one of your classes, Marissa and Jackie.” I nodded. 

Marissa and Jackie both hated me. They talked behind my back and gave me dirty looks. I knew exactly who they were. But I was interested in knowing Cale better, despite his choice of friends.

“How did you know my name?” Cale asked me smiling, 

“I go and watch the hockey games. You guys are doing awesome this year. You’re a left winger right? I remember you score a lot of goals.” There’s a silly grin on my face.

“Sit down with me Jane,” Cale says. “Can I get you anything to eat or drink, it doesn’t look like you’ve had lunch yet?” 

“I’m okay.”

“No, really.” Cale says.

“Ok, I’ll have a bottle of water and a yogurt, granola, and fruit parfait.” I say.

Cale chuckles. “Such a healthy eater. I’m buying us some French fries to share too and you better eat some.” 

Cale comes back with more food than we can both eat. It makes me smile and feel warm inside.

“Tell me about yourself?” Cale says staring at me with his aqua-blue eyes. 

I blush. I’m so shy. I don’t know why he likes me.”I, uh um, I’m an English and Film Studies major. I’m taking five classes, I’m in my second year of university, and I like to swim. I go out with my friends on the weekend to dance and that’s pretty much it.” I say stumbling over my words. 

Cale chuckles. “Busy life Jane. Do you work too?”

“Yeah, I waitress at Moxie’s on the northside. What about you?” I’m beginning to feel less nervous.

“Well I can only manage three classes at once. I’m taking business, majoring in finance. I play hockey as you know and practice takes up a lot of time. I work a great deal at an accounting company in the West end. They help pay for my education and I want to get my CMA eventually. I have fun on the weekends with my friends like you. Maybe your friends and mine could meet up on Friday night? The Lucky Fox sound good to you?” 

I’m chewing a French fry and almost choke. I drink some water and as well as I can manage, I say: “That sounds like fun. Let me talk to my friends and I’ll get back to you.” 

Cale is grinning at me and brushes a stray lock of pink hued blond hair behind my ear. Pulling out his cellphone he asks for my number then texts me so I have his cell number as well. We continue to talk and when my next class starts, we talk through it too.

Eventually, Cale has to go to work. He kisses me on my cheek before he leaves.

——

“Where is this guy anyways, Jane?” My friend Rebecca asks. “He said to meet him at the Lucky Fox at 11:30 pm and it’s 1:30 am?” 

” Yeah, I don’t think he’s a good guy Jane,” Samantha says agreeing with Rebecca. A couple other girls who came along with Rebecca, Samantha, and I, chime in with their unflatterring views of Cale, trying to be supportive of me.

“Stuff happens when you’re out at a bar,” I say. “Maybe something happened with his friends and he couldn’t make it out.” 

I text Cale: Where are you, Cale? You said you’d meet here two-hours ago?

I don’t expect a reply. I’ve texted Cale four or five times with no response.

Who’s this? His text message says. I jump.

It’s Jane from school remember? We had lunch together and talked all afternoon? We made plans for our friends to all meet tonight at the Lucky Fox?

He texts: Sorry too much to drink. . .

What? I text back.

I don’t get a response and I’m fuming.

——

Monday at school I pass Cale on the way to my second class.

Cale touches my shoulder and I spin around to glare at him.

“I can explain about Friday,” he says hands up in apology. “I’m so sorry those girls who told me your name . . .” Cale stops, eyes wide at the anger in my expression.

“Marissa and Jackie?” I say with bitterness.

” Yeah, they got us real drunk. We were playing a card game and pretty much passed-out by midnight. I’m sorry. We did mean to meet you at the Lucky Fox and I was excited to see you and meet your friends.”

 I scoffed. “Whatever, you made your choice. You chose to play games and get drunk with your friends, Marissa, and Jackie.” 

“Please Jane, I like you a lot. I’ll do better next time.” I ignore Cale stepping around him and I don’t talk to him again, this semester or the next. 

He always smiles and waves when I pass by him, but I ignore him. The hurt look on his face every time I pretend not to see him, causes an ache I didn’t know existed inside me.

——

It’s the beginning of my third year and I know the courses are more advanced and will be harder this year. I’m done class for the first day when I bump into Cale, not watching where I’m going.

Cale puts his hands on my shoulders to stabilize me. “Jane? How are you? I haven’t seen you in forever. How was your summer?” 

“It was good Cale. I waitressed and I make great tips in the patio season. I also went away with my best friends Rebecca and Samantha and we went to San Francisco for a week. How about you?”

“Ah, a lot of work at the company.” Cale says shaking his head sadly. “I went to Cancun, Mexico though in Spring with my buddies. It was awesome.” 

I’m amazed I’m desperately curious about Cale’s life still. I’m not mad at him for that one night where he didn’t show up to bar. I think I was over reacting and I’m happy to see Cale because I’ve thought of him often, wishing for a do-over. Here’s my chance.

 Cale’s hands are still on my shoulders his thumbs gently brushing the bare skin beside my scooped necked blue t-shirt.

 “Listen,” I admit, “I’m sorry I was so mad at you before. Things happen when alcohol is involved I know, but I was hurt. I wanted to spend the night with you and you spent it with those other girls Marissa and Jackie. Those girls hate me. They talk behind my back about me.” 

Cale frowns, “I’ll talk to Marissa and Jackie. They won’t be doing that to you anymore if they want to stay friends with me.” I feel hopeful about what Cale has said.

 “You had a right to be mad about that night.” He adds, “I was being stupid. But you didn’t have to ignore me for a year. I had given up hope you’d ever talk to me again until well, right now.”

“I’m sorry Cale. I was being mean. I shouldn’t have ignored you for so long. Just because you didn’t show up one night doesn’t give me the right to treat you like you don’t exist. I hated ignoring you, I felt guilty every time I did it.” I said peering up at Cale’s aqua-blue eyes.

” Jane are you seeing anyone right now?”

I blush and smile at Cale. “No, not for months. Are you?”

“No same as you. I’d like to take you out and only us this time. We can meet each other’s friends another time. I’ve missed you and I want to get to know you better. Can I pick you up for dinner some night this week?”

“Yes, you may,” I say. Cale grins, looking relieved.

“Tuesday is a good night for me, how about you?” I ask him.

“Tuesday at 7:00 pm it is.” 

Cale is noticeably exstatic and I think he’s about the hottest guy I’ve ever seen in his happiness. I absently run my hand through his short blond hair which is so soft, as I gaze up at him. 

I barely realize his mouth is on mine until it is and his kiss and searching lips make me forget all the bad things that happened between us. I feel a warm hum of energy trickling from Cale’s lips into me.

Cale pulls away from me, breathing hard. “I’ve been wanting to do that for over a year, Jane.” 

I take his hand shyly. “I’m glad you finally did.” 

——

©Mandibelle16. (2016) All Rights Reserved.