These past few weeks have gone by quickly and quietly for me. Sometimes it is lonely being the only one at home during the day (except for the dog) but I have become accustomed to it and actually like it. I miss the social interactions one experiences day to day at a job or going to classes as opposed to doing them via internet or correspondence but I have also been a woman who through out her life loves the quiet and having the house to herself. If I want to go out and be around people I do. I go to yoga, for a walk, to the mall, for coffee, and to visit friends but truthfully, I need the quiet to do my school work in and just to be at peace. There is such sensory pollution around certain places that I can’t help but like a peaceful house.
Lately, I have become use to seeing A, my boyfriend, every couple weeks and have become spoiled in that regard. The current shift A is on is his first 3 week shift in quite awhile so it will feel like a lonely long time once we get through those 3 weeks. Truthfully, I think the first week A is away is the hardest week and then in the second two weeks of his shift up North I become involved in my usual activities and plan more activities to do with friends that I don’t notice the length of time as much. When A comes to visit a couple of days we hang out and a third day we usually go out to a club, for dinner, or to a movie. Sometimes we shop but I often find this time of year between winter and spring, there is not much selection of clothing and shoes in stores. Especially since this year it has been so cold because of that damn Polar Vortex. But maybe spring has come to Edmonton. It is supposed to be 13 degrees Celsius next Sunday.
I finally was able to bother my family doctor enough so that he would call in this drug that is supposed to give me more energy and is often used in Chronic Fatigue cases. It is actually just an antidepressant called Elavin. It has actually helped me a lot but not the way I was thinking it would help me. Elavin works so that you sleep better and therefore, have an increase in energy. I think I might feel a tiny bit more energized but at this time, just starting the medication I am mostly too to tell. In fact, it has worked so well for me sleep wise that I was able to stop taking 700g of Gabepentin and melatonin. Tonight I am going to try to lower the dose of Clonazapam that I take to stay asleep in the night. If I can cut back my sleeping medications until I am only taking 1 or 2 pills instead of 8 and some melatonin, I’ll be extremely happy. Whether or not the drug will work as something that will re- energize me, that remains to be seen.
( Okay. I wrote this blog 2 different days so the truth is this drug Elavin is actually horrible for me. Once, the Gabepentin was out of my system I couldn’t sleep at night. But in the day, however, I would sleep all day and no amount of napping was enough to keep me awake. I began to feel “out of it,” agitated, very impatient, and anxious. So today I went off the Elavin and feel so much better. I’m a little tired in the day still but nothing compared to these last few days. But I think this is it for me for medication trial and error until science advances. I don’t know why I have a mood disorder or some type depression and why there is a physical cause to it and not a psychological? I don’t know why this would cause an extreme lack of physical and mental energy? It’s nice to have answers but sometimes I think not having a diagnosis that is known means there are less diagnosis’ to limit me and what I am capable of doing.)
I have finished project #3 for my editing course and only have 1 project left that I will work on next week. I finished reading the study guide, additional readings, and a good portion of the textbook and am happy about how the course is coming along. I only hope my marks reflect that. I am looking forward to being done Editing and to do my last Residential Design course starting mid- April. Hopefully, I am able to put enough time into the workload for that class. Come summer, I also want to do a second editing course to keep busy. What that will specifically be on yet I’m not sure. ( Today I received a B on my second assignment in editing and was happy with that).
The weekend was a loss due to my health issues but I went to the mall a few hours and did a few errands on the Saturday just to get out. This week I want to finish my editing assignment ( the final one) and go for coffee on Thursday. I also hope to start up a yoga routine again at home, I have fallen away from that lately. Additionally, I am paying close attention to Nikki my dog, who is on her second round of steroids for her rheumatoid arthritis. I hope it works this round, poor dog!
So, there is a recent tale on my life. Things are as usual.