Fairy Tale Themed, Fiction, Free Verse, MindLoveMisery's Menagerie, My Thoughts, NaPoWriMo, Nonfiction, Photography/Visual Art, Poetry, Quotes, Religion/Morality, Writing, Writing Challenges

Day 10 – NaPoWriMo/A to Z Challenge/ Photo Challenge: Poem – Free Verse -“The Swan” #amwriting #poetry #AtoZchallenge #NaPoWriMo


Today’s NaPoWriMo prompt is to “write a poem that is a portrait of someone important to you. It doesn’t need to focus so much on what a person looks (or looked) like, as what they are or were.” The corresponding GoodRead’s Author’s Quote for the A to Z Challenge, begins with the letter I. Thanks to NEEKNERAJ of MindLoveMisery’s Menagerie who provided the wonderfully creepy photograph.


Credit: saccstry.deviantart.com
———

If I’d been born a ghoul, I think I would’ve killed people. I just happened to be born a human. That’s the only reason why I’m allowed to live a moral life.” ― Sui Ishida

———

I knew her as a little girl,

Though others thought her odd.

She had that “something” about her,

People either loved or abhorred.

At first, I thought, she was enormously strange,

But her quirks endeared me to her.

She protected me from those cruel girls,

One smile from her, they stumbled away on their heels.

She had shocking violet hair on one side,

She was never quite a blond. 

Always experimenting with new looks,

Trying to glean from her appearance,

Who she was inside herself.

Her eyes a brilliant cornflower blue glimmered,

When some person made her enraged.

Her friends all knew some stupid student,

Would soon regret their actions;

She only had to smile.

And some bullies face turned violet, rouge, or primrose.

My friend was odd but lively,

Never afraid to do anything. 

Dragging me along, to be a part of her drama.

Of her wicked practical jokes,

Others whispered she was a bit ‘Tim Burton,’

Calling her the ‘corpse bride.’

But she would always smile,

In a way that scared many,

Who never knew the truth about her —

She was passionate, kind, and loyal.

If you could get past her walls, her insecurities,

She was most lovely and grew to be a beauty.

Her hair still half-purple — it was her thing.

How we knew her for her. 

Her terrifying smile gleamed, 

She could now afford braces,

For teeth that had scared everyone.

And when the braces disappeared,

Her teeth stood in straight white rows.

Her grim frown had turned forever upside down,

She was no longer that weird girl.

Though there was still ‘something’ about her;

Strange became a talent, something sought after,

When she transformed into a swan.

She became a cut diamond, no longer rough, she was —

Perfectly odd. 

——–



———

©Mandibelle16. (2017) All Rights Reserved.

Fiction, Friday Music Prompt, History, MindLoveMisery's Menagerie, Music and Performers, My Thoughts, Relationship, Religion/Morality

Music Prompt: Teegan’s Potion – Part 3: Teegan’s Potion and His Passion (Rated R) #fiction #paranormal #romance #amwriting


Thanks to MindLoveMisery’s Menagerie for Friday’s music prompt, “I Don’t Want To Talk About It” by Rod Stewart. The song is loosely used in part three. Warning Part Three contains Adult Content. 

——-

“I Don’t Want To Talk About It” – Rod Stewart

——-

http://www.pinterest.com

———-

Tallia drove back to Fairy Dust as fast as her Vespa would take her without losing the giant fish off the Vespa’s back compartment. She was feeling afraid because she knew Teegan would be nearly awake, but felt certain he would be in enough of a fog she would have time to make the potion he required. She prayed the tonic took his darkness away, the shadow that stalked him. But at the same time Tallia knew, the shadow was Teegan.

The presence of darkness lurked as Tallia quietly opened the back door, slipping inside her shop. She set the goldfish in his bag, down on a countertop and stood for a moment blinking tiredly. It was the middle of the afternoon and a wave of fatigue overwhelmed her. She had been up late thinking about Teegan, what he could have possibly done hundreds of years ago to be cursed so wickedly. She was thinking about him in other ways too, Tallia realized blushing.

She wasn’t sure what she’d do if Teegan knew she’d drugged him, what he’d say or do. She didn’t know how much in control Teegan was of his darkness right now. The wisest thing Tallia could do was make him his potion whenever he needed it, whatever kind of potion it was. She thought about the wisdom Teegan hopefully acquired in his centuries alive. Would it make him extra understanding?

Then again, she could be wrong. Some people never learned their lessons despite experience. Yet Tallia was sure, in Teegan’s startling green eyes had been knowledge of dark deeds and lessons learned with difficulty. The blackness in his gaze almost had the affect of repelling Tallia at first.

At the same time, his emerald eyes were seductive and drew her too Teegan. No matter his real age, he appeared to be in his thirties. He was ridiculously good looking in the truest sense. She could smell his particular pleasing scent from where she leaned against the counter in the back of her store. Where she put together potions and caste spells for magical items customer’s required.

Perhaps, it was her heightened sense of smell which brought to life Teegan’s addictive scent, or maybe her memories were more vivid due to her attraction to him.

Tallia jumped when a voice whispered in her ear.

——-

“Where’d you go? How come my potion’s not made? I need it now Tallia,” he whispered.
“Teegan?”

“Yep, I’m awake, thanks for the nap by the way. Did you find out what you needed too? I see you got the giant gold fish. You’re worried about me and the shadow around me which makes you sick. You went and talked to Jude. He’s been around over a century. Old for most humans, but not as old as me, Tallia.”

“I didn’t talk to Jude, he’s in the hospital because he had a stroke and isn’t doing well,” Tallia sad with sadness.” I talked to his great-grandson Aspen. He run’s the store now I guess. He said you were cursed, that you did something terrible. That’s why you’ve so much darkness. How do you make it go away Teegan? What happens if you don’t take this potion?”

Tallia felt warm and comfortable and realized Teegan had moved to hold her from behind, his arms crossed against her stomach. Teegan’s head suddenly lay against hers and she could feel him sigh as if he could finally relax. Tallia had never been so near to Teegan, she felt dizzy in good way. It felt wonderful to be held so gently, though she wondered if Teegan realized he had moved to comfort her.

——

Moments later, Tallia felt Teegan’s lips firmly on the side of her neck, traveling up under her ear and sucking gently on her earlobe. His lips moved back down her neck to the v-neck of her sweater. He kissed her over her heart and Tallia shivered when his lips traced her neck, went over her chin, and landed on her lips. Her heart was racing, she felt hot and cold all over.

Teegan bit her lip gently, seeking access to her mouth. His tongue met hears with need. Tallia couldn’t think, could only feel. Her connection with Teegan was something new to her. This sense of knowing him and recognizing him, beyond the physical sense. In her mind, she could feel him encouraging her to relax.

“I’ll take care of you,” he whispered.

Teegan kissed Tallia until she was breathless, his hands massaging her stomach, sides, and hips. His hand moved up to squeezing her breast over her sweater and short coat. She moaned when he broke off his the kiss leaving Tallia wanting. He breathed in the crook of her neck, his hand not moving, but not leaving either. It seemed as if hours had passed but it had only been minutes.

Teegan collected himself and moved a distance from Tallia as he spoke: “Tallia, I can’t. I want to, but I shouldn’t have done that; it confused you. I need you to make my potion now please. You’re the only one who can do it. It has to be one of your bloodline. And if you don’t I’ll turn evil. I’ll be a curse myself, a terrible man. I’ve done such evil because I’m cursed, or was before your gifted ancestor came up with this potion. It’s the only way to keep me from turning, Tallia. You and I, we’re tied together because of your ancestor. You remind me of her,” Teegan remarked.

“You need to tell me the entire story. This isn’t fair Teegan. Of course, I’ll make the potion. But my Aunt never told me any of this. The cancer took her a way in so little time. I need more answers from you,” Tallia pleaded.

I don’t want to talk about it Tallia. Make the potion. You’re breaking my heart here,” Teegan said rolling his eyes.

“What if I don’t?”

“I’ll be evil, as I’ve said and as I’m sure Aspen told you. I’ll hurt you, probably kill you, and I don’t want to do that. If I kill you, I’ll be evil forever — until someone kills me. You’re the last in your line. Make the potion, Tallia, we could be happy.”

“We?”

“Tallia, make it now! You know I’m not trying to deceive you. You can feel it.”

“Yes, you’re right. I do feel you’re being genuine. I’ll make it as fast I can.”

——

Tallia gathered all the ingredients she had laid out earlier and brought them to an extremely large mixing bowl. She measured all the ingredients into the bowl quickly and accurately, barely thinking. She followed the directions in Aunt Willow’s tome and chanted the right words when she needed to say them. Pouring out the water of the giant gold fish’s bag in a sink, she slid the giant flopping gold fish into her bowl. With wide eyes she watched the potion simmer and turn scarlet.

Aspen had been right, the goldfish was a sacrifice of life. Although a mouse or anything small would’ve done the job, but her ancestor’s writing said the giant goldfish was preferred. Tallia strained the chunks of ingredients from the mixture; the goldfish had disintegrated.

Tallia pulled a beer stein out of her cupboard to Teegan’s surprise. She poured half of the scarlet liquid into the earthen beer stein. Teegan had been watching Tallia create the potion the entire time. He hadn’t said anything, only watched her, familiar with her actions. He’d probably watched her Aunt Willow and her Great-Aunt do the same. And many of Tallia’s ancestors, if she could believe his story.

She turned around from the giant bowl and found Teegan beside her, leaning against the counter studying her. His hand moved, pushing her light purple-grey hair behind her ear. He was so much taller than her, Tallia thought.

Teegan smiled when she offered him the beer stein.”Where’s yours?”he asked her.

“Where’s my what?”

Your half of the potion? You have to drink it with me,” Teegan told her.

Tallia was about to protest but he was gazing at her in a particular way. She noticed the pain usually hidden in his eyes present. She felt it through her being and it softened her heart; her protests crumbled.

” I wish I wasn’t so intuitive, Teegan. You do really need me to drink your tonic with you? Do you promise I’ll be okay?”

“I promise. Your Aunt, she was always fine. You’ll find it invigorating actually,” he said.

Tallia nodded reading what Teegan had told her in the tome beside her on the counter. How did she miss that direction? Peering up she noticed him pouring her a beer stein of the remaining liquid. She took the potion from him, grimacing because she knew the ingredients in it. She tasted a bit of the potion, testing the flavour. It tasted like cinnamon and a woodsy red wine. How could that be? 

“Bottoms up?” Teegan said holding up his stein.

Talia clinked her stein with his, “Slainte,” she said.

—–

Teegan’s potion was easy going down. Tallia could feel a lightness, as if her cares were floating free. She felt energy, Teegan was right. His potion did feel invigorating. Her mind felt intensely perceptive as well. Swallowing the remenants of the liquid she saw Teegan had already finished his.

“Better, huh?” he asked.

“Yeah, it’s amazing stuff,” she said peering everywhere, everything around her was completely crystal clear. Her early fatigue was gone. Tallia noticed Teegan’s dark circles had faded. He appeared younger, his few wrinkles smoothed out. He was gazing at her again in certain way, and she knew from the flicker in his green-eyes what he wanted. Tallia felt almost drunk, except the potion made everything feel real.

She laughed aloud and Teegan frowned,”What?”

“No you’re not getting that from me,” she said.

“It wasn’t difficult to get a kiss and more from you before. You like me. I can tell, I like you too,” Teegan said, eyes darkening and meeting her own.

“No,” Tallia said laughing again. “You have to earn it. Take me out. Tell me about yourself and my ancestors. Did you sleep with one of my great- great – female relatives?”

“Don’t you feel like you’re burning up inside? I don’t know what I’ll do if I can’t . . .” he said approaching Tallia, following her as if she were prey. “I slept with the first of your ancestors I knew, she was my .  . .  my woman, for a while. But she died and we never had a child.”

Tallia backed away from Teegan smiling, wary but turned on at the same time. He was irresistible and Tallia found herself trapped against a wall. She laughed more as Teegan stripped off his shirt and unbuckled his belt. Her mouth ran dry seeing his finely sculpted body. He grinned and grabbed both her hands, holding her hands above her head. Tallia whimpered and Teegan chuckled.

“I’m not, I’m not a one night type of girl and you’re . . . you smell so good. But you’ve lived so much longer than me, what could you possibly see in me,” she murmured.

“You’re not one night Tallia.  I was thinking many many and I see you’re beautiful and gifted; you’re also intelligent.You didn’t immediately trust me.”

“Okay . . .” Tallia began but Teegan’s lips roughly met hers and she gasped as his tongue invaded sliding against hers. His hands were everywhere beneath her shirt and bralette. Then her shirt and bralette were gone and his mouth was there and she couldn’t contain her cries. “Oh no . . .”

He removed his mouth breathing hard, “Stop?”

“Oh please no!” Tallia said.

He chuckled and continued loving her with his mouth. “Teegan . . .” she whispered, feeling her body melt into his.

He pulled off the rest of her clothes, kissing her slightly round stomach and turning her around to kiss Tallia all over back and to her surprise, over her hips and bottom. His fingers found her center and rubbed below, circling her sweet spot, his thumb pressing against her.

“Please please. . .”

Teegan kissed her bottom again and turned her around so his head was level with Tallia’s belly button. He kissed her stomach before thrusting two fingers into her core, she shook and nearly screamed. It hurt but it was okay because the pleasure of his fingers going in and out of her was intense. She wailed when his fingers took her over the edge.

He kissed her, his lips and tongue centered on her core. The sensations Tallia felt were indescribable. Teegan was teasing her, he knew she need to come again but wasn’t letting her; he was making her wait for him. Teegan removed the rest of his clothes and gently lifted Tallia’s body onto the counter. He pushed both his fingers inside her again, adding a third.

“I’ve never . . .” she whispered suddenly shy.

“At your age? I’m flattered, no one values that these days,” Teegan whispered.

Tallia flushed, “Well it’s complicated. It’s gone but, I never had sex.”

“What do you mean?” Teegan asked stopping. His voice sounded grim.

Don’t stop, don’t,” Tallia begged.

“Okay, but I will kill whoever did it to you,” he promised.

Tallia believed Teegan, he appeared dead serious even though they were having sex.”It’s fine,” she mumbled. “It was a university party. I was too drunk and fell asleep and he was there sometime. When I woke up he was gone and I hurt,” Tallia admitted anxious for Teegan to continue loving her.

“Are you okay, are . . .”

“Please don’t, don’t stop. Please I need you.”

Teegan nodded, understanding. “You’ve got me,” he replied.He guided himself to her entrance and gently pushed inside.

“Okay?”

“Good, more.” Tallia said gripping his sides until Teegan was completely inside her. It stung and hurt but it was also the best feeling she could imagine when he began to move. She wrapped her legs around his waist and he whispered dirty things in her ear, all the things he wanted to do to her.

She felt his rhythm increase and her own body released again, more powerfully this time. She felt the final pushes of him in her body as he came. Teegan breathed heavily, holding Tallia and kissing her forehead.

Then, Tallia was crying, amazed tears were falling down her face. But Teegan gently hushed her and kissed her tears. It was hard for her to believe Teegan could ever be an evil monster. Tallia needed to know more about his past, when he was ready to tell her; she hoped it was soon.

——-

©Mandibelle16. (2016) All Rights Reserved.

Fiction, My Thoughts, Poetry, Quatern - four quatrains, line a repeats moving down each stanza line until it's the last line of the last Quatern, Relationship, Religion/Morality, Writing

Poem – Quaterns – “You Are Not The Girl” #poetry #amwriting


Credit: Marcus Baccatti – http://www.pinterest.com

*****

You are not the girl I always knew,

The person I was most like, you flew –

No longer my number two,

You’re the girl I defended too. 

—–

At every step abandoned I grew, 

You are not the girl I always knew.

You say one thing, you’re actions show,

You’re not a dependable though.

——

I disattach so you won’t hurt,

Make the marks of neglect so curt.

You are not the girl I always knew,

I relied too much on you it’s true.

——

You’re not such a good person, though —

I put you on a pedestal, so –

I took care of you, and trusted you,

You are not the girl I always knew.

******

You are not the girl I always knew,

Life it changed, with it we both grew –

Forced apart at first by you, then thrown,

Hurt so much, but I’ve always known –

—–

I can’t completely trust you through –

You are not the girl I always knew.

So involved in yourself, stopped thinking,

Stopped caring, it made my soul shrink

——

To think of where life takes us, knowing —

One day you’ll leave, forever going.

You’re not the girl I always knew,

You just look like her, there are few –

—–

Who could ever replace this girl,

But she is stuck in her own world.

Changes, hoping friendship renews, 

You are not the girl I always knew.

*****

©Mandibelle16. (2016) All Rights Reserved. 

Free Verse, My Thoughts, Poetry, Short Stories And Serial Stories

Poem: Free Verse – ” You Get What You Give” #poetry #amwriting 


http://www.lovethispic.com

———

If words tumble out, a stumbling of words and tongue, 

Can you answer my questions, when I stutter and cry? 

When evil conspires in the speech of a mere voice, 

Not a person infront of you, just words over the phone.

Maybe you think you’re doing your job? 

But you’re morally decrepit. 

Bankrupt of mercy, and I wish you — nothing, 

But Karma, to flip you upside-down. 

The concept of Karma means, 

You get what you give, no matter who you are.  

We’re all mean, corrupted, and selfish, 

A world wide problem, broken inside and out, 

Some of us more ruined than others. 

We convince ourselves what is right, 

Anything I guess, if you can sleep at night?

But I am no cupcake, I will not be devoured.

I may be a little person, compared to the status of many, 

But as the words go, “I’m fiercer,” than most.

And my heels are dug in, I’ve retired my lipstick, 

And brought out my spears and my battle armour, 

The spirited warrior, though “she be little,” 

Diligent because,  I know what you’ll receive —

Exactly what you deserve, someday soon. 

So, I’ll show forgiveness, I won’t hold a grudge,

Because God alone, is your judge.

I don’t have to do anything, 

Because one day it will be you. 

Life happens, leaves us battered, 

In a senior’s home or a car accident. 

Could be any condition or disease, one day it will be you, 

So I pray for you, and I wish —

That someone will be kinder than you were to me, 

Someone will believe you’re actually sick.

Someone will care, how you will eek out a living. 

Someone will care, and won’t leave you empty handed. 

Hands full of nothing, but words which don’t matter, 

Words, no one hears, because Karma came knocking.

I hope someone listens, and has a good heart, 

For in some way we all suffer, and must lift each other up.

——

©Mandibelle16. (2016) All Rights Reserved.

My Thoughts, Nonfiction, Relationship, Short Stories And Serial Stories, Writing

Writing 101: Simple Acts – The Mundane Demonstrates Love. #everydayinspiration


This writing 101 prompt is to experiment with word count. I usually, don’t limit my posts unless I have to. Some of the hardest pieces I write can only be 100 words long. But since I have a choice, I’m going to write and see what comes out.

——

http://www.spoonsandstilettos.com

——–

There is a beginning and and an end to a story. Then there is the inbetween. Often, the inbetween is the part of the story we skip over, we miss the everyday mundane details of our characters lives which would bore many readers. But it is fascinating that in real life, the simple and mundane acts in life can be the most meaningful: 

——-

Everyday for the past three or four-years, my Dad cuts up a bowl of fruit for me in the morning. He started to do it when a Chinese student was staying in our house to finish her last two years of highschool and later attend University where we live.

Sometimes, the student didn’t eat her fruit, so I would eat it when I woke up later in the morning. One day I ate a bowl of fruit left on the table and my Dad came back from his run:

“Did you eat the bowl of fruit on the table?” he asked me.

“Yes, I thought it was Cristina’s and she didn’t have time to eat it,” I said feeling like a little child being scolded.

“I don’t mind cutting you a bowl of fruit Amanda but that was my bowl of fruit. I cut it so it would be ready when I came home from my run.”

“I’m sorry,” I said alarmed. “I wouldn’t have eaten it if I knew it was yours.” 

“It’s no trouble; I’ll cut an extra bowl of fruit it the morning. It’s not any extra work for me.” My Dad said smiling.

——

Cristina (the student) has moved out but almost every morning when I wake up around 10:30am, there is a bowl of fruit waiting for me. 

As my Dad allows his grown-up daughter to live in his house (on cheap rent) because of her health, he cuts this same daughter fruit for breakfast. They’re both simple things, but they let me know to him even though I’m an adult, I’m still his little squirell and he loves me a great deal. They are mundane acts which demonstrates my Dad loves me more than any grander gesture could.

How many times do we go by those we love in our lives, not demonstrating our love? Yes in their hearts our loved ones know we love them. But it’s small gestures each day which truly show what we feel for our loved ones. Hugs and pats on the back; saying you love them or appreciate something they did out loud; little treats such as baking or buying them their favourite cookies or ice cream; doing something to make a loved ones life easier; or doing things they appreciate. Simple mundane tasks and moments of thought. The inbetween is where life counts.

——-

©Mandibelle16. (2016) All Rights Reserved.

My Thoughts, NaPoWriMo, Nonfiction, Poetry, Prose Poetry, Relationship, Religion/Morality, Short Stories And Serial Stories, Writing

NaPoWriMo: Poem – Prose – “Poker Face”


Today, I’d like to challenge you to write a poem based on things you remember. Try to focus on specific details, and don’t worry about whether the memories are of important events, or are connected to each other. You could start by adopting Brainard’s uniform habit of starting every line with “I remember,” and then you could either cut out all the instances of “I remember,” or leave them all in, or leave just a few in. At any rate, hopefully you’ll wind up with a poem that is heavy on concrete detail, and which uses that detail as its connective tissue. Happy writing!

Please see NaPoWriMo for more information.

——

There are memories and memories inbetween memories, things you shouldn’t know. But I write and I say, what naturally comes to flow. Spending a day building raw story into characters who have flaws and appeal. Characters who are relatable and show affection, lust, a special connection with each other.

 I am building story from the ground level, thanks to a friend, who tore my story down line by line so I am able to build. I’m grateful for everything he sees that I do not. How the story doesn’t flow and how the characters actually appear.

What’s believable in real life? I think an interesting situation because the story involves magic and in real life we don’t believe in curses and the power of magic. We write of it extensively wishing for such power, such talents, such super-human abilities. Probably because we’re human, and sometimes being human makes a person feel mighty small. 

Today’s memories are about editing and refinement. Answering questions I wouldn’t know how to ask. I’m learning. Digging deeper, past the simple, into the complex. I don’t want a one-dimensional story. Though it has magic I want the characters to be real people and I want their flaws and likes/dislikes to show. I want what they’re good at, their occupations, their speech and actions, the people they have around them, to demonstrate their characters.

The minds of people are endlessly fascinating, especially the minds of those who say everything or say nothing. My Grandpa said little, his mind was complicated. He was a Pastor whose smoking habit ended his life at seventy-three -years-old. He would ask questions which made one think and consider alternate routes as he taught me the games of cribbage, chess, and when we attempted cryptograms and crossword puzzles. Grandpa’s questions always hinted at digging deeper, searching for another method, and missed details.

But my Godfather, he says everything. And what he says is thought-provoking. He is always thinking of other people, how to help. He is the bestfriend to his friends and he has many. He can listen but mostly he talks and he’s wise with his words.

I miss him and the second place I call home, his and my Godmothers charming house. His wisdom and continual thinking, his belief in God solving all problems, and finding answers from an omniscient God are well expressed; he gives me such peace after we’ve had a conversation or I’ve listened to him talk.

 And I’m thinking about a paint night I’m doing with friends at the bar Sunday night. Painting, did you know I love it? I will need a couple drinks to merely do as the instructor says, but I know what my hands and mind will do.

 I will mix the paint, either ruin or add to the design. I desire creativity. I’ve said it before, creativity cannot be boxed in its true form. But with a drink or two and two good friends, the evening will pass and I’ll come home, painting in hand.

 Also, finding a good guy — one whom you enjoy being with and talking with is difficult. You need to be attracted to their looks and their intelligence. You hope they such as you, have plans to do ‘something’ with their life. Finding a guy with all these parameters, is it asking too much? I’m not sure. I’m not extensively experienced here.

But time after time I’m disappointed when a date becomes, “come over to my place,” usually at night but sometimes in the day. There is no dating involved. There is no understanding of, ” I’m not interested.” And certain men keep messaging or calling. 

I’m not adverse to sleeping with the right guy. I haven’t found a right guy lately. I don’t know if I’m such as Alice’s friend at tea I’m, ‘mad as a hatter’ to believe there are good guys out there who want to have fun out of bed and when a woman trusts them, in bed too. Laying that foundation of trust is vital.

 I don’t think this thought of mine is right accordingto God but I’m trying to find a happy middle. Maybe my happy middle won’t make me happy? 

I’m tired of guys who only want a night here and there. That was university, I’m going to be thirty-one in July. I’m not twenty-one and even twenty-one year old me would have smacked a guy who kept after her after she repeatedly told him to back off.

Guys don’t get it, they scar women. This is stuff I cannot believe I’m writing but eighteen-year-old me was extremely naive at the bar. Her friend ditched her for some guy. She was all alone and trying to get away from this guy who followed her around the bar. She didn’t have the confidence a girl three or so years older had at the bar, batting away and shooting down idiots before they became stalkers for the night. 

She was so stupid. It’s effected her sense of trust ever since. He didn’t stop for a long time; it only felt like eternity. The repeated “No” in his ears, he was deaf to it until she cried wet tears. There were different guys after that, few who she didn’t mind getting close to.

But always, I have this disgust for men who treat women as if a woman’s existence is for their pleasure, because she wants or needs sex too. Should she have to sleep with a man after she has deliberated and said, “no?” No she shouldn’t, it’s always a woman’s choice, it’s her body after all.

Guy’s scar with their repeated advances boardering on harassment. They scar bruising you badly where they should be gentle. You look to see how purple your bruises are. Not understanding how he didnt comprehend, “don’t be rough.” 

Enough. To much info. But this poem is prose; it is memories past and to come — some awful and some exciting. Building memories writing and living in a world that can be cruel at times. 

But I think if you’re building if you’re working towards a goal you can be proud you’re using your talents despite the cards life and your stupid self may have dealt you playing poker.

Cheesy analogy but ever since I learned to play poker — Texas Holdem — in the basement of my Pastor’s house with friends I’d grown up or met in church at that time, I always think back to poker seeing such a carry over for life. 

Each day, place your bets and see what the ‘river’ holds, and how the cards in your hand can be played. Ask for another card if you dare, trading one in . . . 

We’d drink beer and play poker. We’d watch NFL football and play video games. I never entirely got why some days my poker playing was terrific, while other days I could fold most hands and end up broke. We paid twenty dollars in a pot at the beginning of each game. At times my one brother and I would play with the other players until 3:00 am or 4:00 am in the morning.

I didn’t play much poker after those years ended. But I feel sometimes as if I’m placing my bet, and trying desperately to hold onto my poker face. Tomorrow, more building. It keeps me going.

——

“Poker Face” – Lady Gaga

——–

©Mandibelle16. (2016) All Rights Reserved.

My Thoughts, Nonfiction, Poetry, Rondel - ABba abAB abbaA, Short Stories And Serial Stories, Writing

Poem: Rondel – ” Frivolity “


Thanks to The Daily Post for the word prompt frivolous.

Rondel form: ABba abAB abbaA

—–

 

http://www.giphy.com
 
——

Not sure, I need frivolous lies,

Frivolity means you’re careless with life,

Your actions they present dire strife.

You turn away with a quiet sigh.

—–

Anger builds within me, you don’t try.

You’re frivolous with time and life.

Not sure, I need frivolous lies,

Frivolity means you’re careless with life.

—–

Not going to let you just fly.

You are like fruit overally ripe.

Spending time frivolous you gripe.

You’ll never know simple sighs.

Not sure I need, frivolous lies.

—-

©Mandibelle16. (2016) All Rights Reserved.

Writing

Poem: Woman


What is a woman to you?

Have we really got girl power?

Do you care for her and cherish her?

Or do you slap her ass when she walks by in hopes that you can nail her?

What is a woman to you?

Is she safe enough to voice her opinion?

Or is she to emotional, overthinking the situation  ?

Maybe there is more to her then what you see on the outside?

What is a woman to you?

Just a receptionist, an assistant, — if she wants — but what if she wants more?

Do you hoot and holler at her in high heels and shorts?

Do you make her feel awkward and that it’s her fault that you don’t have manners? 

Maybe you could get to know her and really care about her?

Maybe you could give her your time, that’s what she wants the most.

Maybe you can make her worth more then her body or a pretty face?

Maybe you could see her heart, and see that she beats blood just like you? 

What is a woman to you?

She is worth infinite value, that you cannot measure, until she is lost to you. 

Poetry, Writing

Sonnet “He Called”


He said to me “lets go.”

Let’s make this something right.

My heart fills with rays of light

I tend to take it slow.

He said to me lets cuddle.

I was surprised and said “for real.”

Let’s make ourselves a deal.

And your lies left me in a huddle.

He took me hand, I went.

Temptation left me too much alive.

My life was going into a dive.

So to him I lept and for him I sent.

The consequences of my actions

Give me pause and I beg for his reactions.

My Thoughts

Changing the World


www.handsonblog.org
http://www.handsonblog.org

When I was writing poetry in high school our English teacher gave us an assignment to write a poem about ourselves. I’m not sure where that piece of blind hope and optimism went but I seem to remember a line I wrote ” I’ll change this world one way or another.”

I think most people want to change the world in their own small way, to be recognized and have a piece of themselves remembered after they’re gone. How we go about changing the world is a difficult concept to consider because sometimes we don’t even know if our actions are altering our world or if our actions are just going to be forgotten such as many days, hours, and minutes in life. It is hard to tell if the actions of our outcomes to change the world will be positive or whether the actions of our outcomes to change the world will be negative.

I think a lot of people hope their actions are for the greater good but I have never believed that people naturally are good inside. I grew up believing that people are tainted by sin and that intrinsically what we do, even if it is a beneficial thing for others, we do it for ourselves. I think people become good through God and this affects people through their actions, their morals, how they talk, and how they treat other people when things are not so good in other people’s life and their own lives. We are inclined to be bad, to be selfish, but can fight against that inclination and learn to be someone who wants to change the world in a good way. But even our most benevolent actions can take us down dark painful trails in life. After all, as the old adage goes ‘ The Road to Hell Is Paved with good Intentions.’ So then if we do not know the affect our actions can take how then do we alter the world in a good way? Can we change the world for the better?

I feel that life is journey all about finding yourself, your family, and friends. It’s about struggling through the bad times and settling for content; it’s about those wonderful few moments that sparkle and are crystal clear when you realize everything is almost perfect; and it’s about helping as many other people as you can along the way. The world is not a constant thing, it is forever changing without us doing anything about it. For instance, The News is mostly terrible every day; somewhere it is a guarantee that people are dying and babies are being born; buildings are built, than taller more luxurious buildings are built, then someday they are all turned into crumbled up cement,steel, and dust; entrepreneurs and big business runs the world but some businesses that once were booming can easily become obsolete -think companies such as Meryl Lynch during the past few years in the recession. But it seems to me that we are all a part of this big world and have our talents to contribute, to give to whatever purpose we can, even though we don’t know the outcomes of our actions always.

At a desk in a library I was sitting at one day, these words were carved into the side of the desk: ‘ maybe your existence in this world is to serve as warning to others.’ I thought it was kind of funny but about a week later in the same desk someone had re-carved the bit of wit and wrote: ‘maybe your existence in this world is to serve others.’ 2 different points of view that show dramatically different ways we look at the world, one I think a bit humorously but meanly, and the other a very serious phrase which I think sums up changing the world: to serve others. From the greatest CEO’s to the immigrant workers at Tim Horton’s, from those who are truly blessed and are living an easy life, to those who are feeling like they don’t belong in this world and don’t want to be in, it’s all about helping every one of them so they can pay it forward too.

www.everydaygandhis.org
http://www.everydaygandhis.org

And if helping people is changing the world I think that means that the best strategy is to go ahead and do nice things, share yourself and your talents, with others in any small way you can, whoever you are. For me this might be helping other people to edit and write and to write articles to bring empowerment and knowledge to young woman. To another person, this could look like helping out at Santa’s Anonymous during Christmas, driving your way-to-drunk-to-drive friend home from the bar because you are sober, taking care of a pet and making sure it lives a content puppy or hedgehog life, it could be giving someone a break when they accidentally spilled their coffee on your dress shirt, letting your staff go an hour early from work, accepting your friends and family and loving them despite their flaws, realizing that you are not too flawed to be loved, talking to a lonely stranger, letting the seniors have the front seats on the bus, being a mom who lets other people pass in front of you even though you have a large stroller, or giving a mom a night off by babysitting her kid(s). There are so many things I can add to this list, it could go on and on. But this is how you change a world one small step at time through your individual journey in life, aiding others on their journey and finding out that living a life for yourself alone, is a lost one.

As the lyrics in my new favourite song by Aviccii, “Wake Me Up” goes: ” Feeling my way through the darkness\ guided by a beaten’ heart, I can’t tell where the journey will end/ But I know where to start / . . . So wake me up when it’s all over / When I’ m wiser and I’m older / All this time I was finding myself and I didn’t know I was lost.”