Poem: Free Verse – “Forever Hope” #amwritingpoetry #mandibelle16 #mandibellesthoughts


Hey all! It’s been a long time, and I’m sorry to have been away so long. I’ve spent the last month recovering in hospital from a severe depressive episode. There’s still a ways to go to improve my stamina, but the hardest part is done. At least my diagnosis is known forsure — I suffer from Clinical Depression where I can become so depressed I have a psychotic episode. But, with new medication and the help of modern ECT (which I highly recommend), I’m looking forward to continuing through life and improving my little apartment and finding another part-time job. For now I’m at my parents working on healing a little still. Here is a poem I started a month ago, before the episode got bad, finished today.


Credit: Shutterstock


The writer takes a pause,

The world it spun, titled without cause.

Forgotten nights and fierce dramas played;

Yet, I stay; I pause — only for a breathe of time.

A moment to confess;

Assured that darkness can never win the day.

Although the sun is abeam and we drag our paint brushes through clean–

It’s a stronger light than you could imagine.

Eternal, brilliant, fluorescent, suffering a just fierce burst;

— Than the glow of morning wins adream.

So, that in the black pitch of fright we see;

Darkness is short, never forever.

Forever is but a moment if you realize —

Dim dankness will cease, and the night’s short minutes are minuscule gleaming beams of white.

They block out the pitch of fright;

Time that pauses pain, such gusts of cruelty cannot prevail;

Thus, we continue on —

And in life we’ve hope, despite death shrouds.

Those pollutant clouds that choke — only sweet clean air has us afloat.

Here shrill cobalt birdies fly and never die;

No lost trips in wild night, no wild wild frights or shadow‘s clawing.

Nothing but our vivid faith for tomorrow’s war won;

And in reality I find(perhaps), a better life aglow.

I hold on for brilliant light beyond the dusk, and harrowed breadth of night.

This is no nightmare or sordid dream, so hang on —

A better life bends t’ward us; And courage is a radiant resplendent breath awake.

The creators Mercy and passion still live —

If only we forget not to hope.

For a better life, for better seconds to each other give;

Forgive and hang-on-tight to the bold flashes of a sunny, light blue Friday dawn.

The battle has faded; now forever altered we move on.

Soldiers dragging our feet as swishes of paint,

Each step t’ward life’s resilience.


©️Mandibelle16. All Rights Reserved (2019).

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Poem: Free Verse — “How To Be A Bird” #amwritingpoetry


Credit: Roland Denes via Unsplash.


The wings of summer come flying soft,

Puffs of feathers fluffed towards the sky;

I do not know, or not know not how,

Such warbling birds, with limps can fly.

I don’t know why they limp as babes,

Tossed from the nest, before the cat eats;

Whiskers dripping in homemade cream,

Somehow at times we fly as much as we need,

Up into the sky, to breathe;

But, sometimes we are stones, we sink to the floor.

And the world around us explodes,

Fur, yowls, claws as life takes another bite;

What goes on in the mind, is a curious thing.

Pathways misfiring, and there’s no end of ammo to spark,

Images, fear, flatness, some kind of pain,

Mental, a darkness physical that grabs at the mind;

And birds might fly for a limited time —

But all of us fall, at the end of he day.

And sleep cannot always solve,

Sometimes, light hurts your eyes, as if the world’s a giant;

Ray exposing you for every sin, and vice, every deed ever done wrong —

Every lie, and every past sin, no matter that you’ve turned;

I’ve no idea how life can revive, when I’ve already asked for so much.

But there are no words,when you’ve been robbed,

When there’s hurt but you can’t find the cause.

When part of you is broken,

And you can’t fuse the cracks;

And the world spins, and flows,

Dizzy from the ride, you always feel as if you’ll puke your insides.

When the past repeats, and you think you’ve healed,

When the cat gets it’s cream, and only feathers remain;

When your eyes can’t see, or the mind can’t connect,

What then, each path, the doorway shuts,

Then what? Positivity aside —

Then, somehow a glimmer reveals;

New wings rebuilt, fragile –no one knows why,

But they’re a gift, and such mercy means you can become,

That a future has possibility,

And warbling birds trill a tune,

No matter the storms or trials.

The cat will have to wait,

This bird’s wings flap for miles.


©️Mandibelle16. (2019) All Rights Reserved.

Tale Weavers: Poem – Wrapped Refrain (2) — “Full-Hearted” #amwritingpoetry #taleweavers #MLMM


Thanks to Michael of MindLoveMisery’s Menagerie for hosting Tale Weaver’s this week with his theme: all things bright and beautiful & what it means to us. Also, thanks to MindLoveMisery’s MenagerieMindLoveMisery’s Menagerie Music Prompt #41 “This Is Not the End” by MILCK.


Credit: Joshua Fuller via Unsplash


This is Not the End by MILCK


All things bright and beautiful cleanse; this is not end.

Star’s leap, shrinking violets shimmer tall, lively bend;

Despite storm’s ahead, summer’s heat,

Deepens azure; the sky still beams,

Wide-eyed giggles, cherub children;

Bells tinkle joyful, dreamscapes mild.

Your schemes aren’t the end, despite a shameful purpose;

Sickening plots — lies, your ugly’s gone; I’ve more worth.

****

This isn’t the end, of all things bright and beautiful,

I’m not afraid of monsters, your cunning half-truths.

I’m a survivor furnished,

In sweet trappings of God’s spirit.

I fear not your Slytherin tongue;

I’m a warrior inspite your drugs —

Candy words, lethargy, crafted bitter-bliss —

You’re daft, such a nasty trick; too late — you missed.

*****

All things bright and beautiful, life moves, expands,

Beneath snow spring trickles in streams; ice cracks, your damned.

Wicked man against roaring lion,

His might rages, light that defies.

I’m not afraid of ruthlessness,

For I’ve inhaled His brilliant truth.

You can’t snuff it out, you can’t beat it’s flames; feasting on–

Destruction, your falsehood revealed; I’m no man’s pawn.

*****

Sweet lamb am I, protected from plots; your slaughter —

Without regret, dishonest; I win you falter.

This lapse isn’t the end; I’m free.

Once blind, I stare eyes pitying;

Your tricks are done, for I have sun.

Wild winds, tangled grass and I’ve won —

Space to wander in aqua dawn, white sands beautiful.

All things bright, I’ve chosen a door and key — heart-full.

*****


©️Mandibelle16. (2019) All Rights Reserved.

Notable Quotes: Part One, December 2018 #notablequotes #pinterest #quotes


Welcome, this is late, better late than never I suppose. This week is my last Steeped Tea Event for December, except maybe Boxing Day. My last 2018 charity event is Monday, called the ‘Snowflake Ball’ for a children’s hospital wing, in the University Hospital in my city. I’m excited, but I know it will be a long one by the end of the night. Enjoyable too. There are so many worthy causes out there and I love that I can be apart of them. Looking forward to the fashion at this one too.

I have a couple of stops left to Christmas shop before the 24th, & also Christmas baking, cards, and special foods, those kinds of things to prepare once work is done for awhile. This year has turned out to be so different than many other years. Both, in ways I’m glad about and also in taking giant leaps — I’m still in the process of figuring life out. I wish this involved writing more, but I’ve gained experience in other areas I hope will be useful in the future. Here and there I get to write a poem, and comment. These are the most relaxing times for me. Sometime I will have a lot more to say then, what I can say right now. But it’s been a good year — answered prayers, and time to catch up on some quotes.


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©️Mandibelle16.(2018) All Rights Reserved.

#OctPoWriMo Day 8/ #Saturday Mix/ #PhotoChallenge/ #MusicChallenge: Poem – “Storm from God” #amwritingpoetry #MLMM


For OctPoWriMo Day 8 the Prompt is moments of madness using a blitz form of poetry. You can find the form here from shadowpoetry.com. Also, I’m combining with Sarah from MindLoveMisery Menagerie‘s Saturday Mix Prompt of opposing forces. This week, she chose the opposing word pairs: admit and deny, and presence and absence. I’m combining with NEKNEERAJ’s from MindLoveMisery’s Photo Challenge, and lastly MindLoveMisery’s Music Challenge using Avril Lavigne’s “Head Above Water.”


Credit: Annija Veldre


Head Above Water” by Avril Lavigne

https://youtu.be/EKF6ghfcQic


The sea’s presence rises stories before me

Me, clenching my dress as awakes the storm

Storm unexpected as my toes clench sand grains

Storm rising as my heart wrenches, pulsing sobs

Sobs unheard as the monsoons rage

Sobs, in my ears, as the ocean steals me beneath

Beneath the sea, where I can’t reach safe shores

Beneath the waves, my breathe in absence fades

Fades as I pray, screaming inside, please

Fades, my memories of sadness, of hate —

Hate, I admit, I didn’t see the obvious

Hate that I missed the truth — oh, God

God, keep my head above water

God, hear my prayers as I beg for life

Life to live longer, to live fully

Life to see your infinite grace

Grace that tells me I can paddle

Grace that tells me I can swim

Swim past the terrors of watery depths

Swim past the darkness that swallows me wholly

Wholly, I’m becoming something more, out here

Wholly, it took near-death to find celestial lights

Lights of the shores as they glisten in day

Lights as crystals that refract, reflect the sunlight

Sunlight calls as I cough up half the ocean

Sunlight calls as I peel seaweed, spit-out salt

Salt of the earth, come closer now

Salt of the earth, keep me forever

Forever is never letting me stray far

Forever is supporting me as I float

Float in the surf, the sea shells cutting

Float half awake, not touching dry-land

Land, it’s a prayer mumbled between days

Land me on shore away from hostile depths

Depths of my cries, which no human hears

Depths of my tears, eyes stung by salt-spray

Spray my lips, don’t deny them purest water

Spray my skin, don’t deny it sweet moisture

Moisture that doesn’t tangle sopping hair

Moisture not burning as it seeps into weeping eyes

Eyes that fear such tempestuous seas

Eyes that fear such shadows swimming — worse, drowning

Drowning as new storms toss me each night

Drowning as the corals tear burnt skin from the sun

Sun stay longer as the sandbars come closer

Sun stay longer as my crimson blood trails — oh, God

God keep my head above water, come closer

God don’t let me drown, God . . .


©️Mandibelle16. (2018) All Rights Reserved.

#NaPoWriMo Day 29/Saturday Mix: Poem- Quadrille – “Apprehensions: Night Tears Through” #amwriting #poetry #SaturdayMix


For NaPoWriMo Day 29 the prompt is: “to write a poem based on the Plath Poetry Project’s calendar. Simply pick a poem from the calendar, and then write a poem that responds or engages with your chosen Plath poem in some way.” I’m combining with Sarah from MindLoveMisery’s Menagerie‘s Saturday Mix Prompt of Opposing Forces and two sets of words suburb and city centre and repair and damage.


Credit: Maximo Valcarce via Unsplash


Plath Poetry Calendar: APPREHENSIONS

“There is this white wall, above which the sky creates itself—

Infinite, green, utterly untouchable.

Angels swim in it, and the stars, in indifference also.

They are my medium.

The sun dissolves on this wall, bleeding its lights.”


No walls to repair, or damage,

Creation’s infinite, sublime.

You tug at my heart —

Buds bursting,

Craving unknowns.

Amidst starlit skys.

Angels swimming,

Chiding indifference —

Knowing white walls,

Can’t entrap.

Not suburbsof children,

Or urbanspeakeasies,

Sparking, neglecting —

The sun’s dissolved,

Bleeding into pitch —

Light tears through.


©Mandibelle16. (2018) All Rights Reserved.

Three Line Tales: The Monty Hall Problem #amwriting #mathsucks #3LineTales


Thanks to Sonya of Only 100 Words for hosting #3LineTales. Sorry, a bit of cheat with this one, but I couldn’t get the idea out of my head for the photograph. I think it’s 4 or 5 sentences. But who’s counting. 😉


Credit: Jerry Kiesewetter via Unsplash


Say, there’s a million dollars in one green box (ignore the yellow boxes), and there’s Monopoly money in all the other green boxes, but you don’t know what green box has the million dollars, and what boxes have Monopoly money.

You select green box number 7 as the box (you guess) has the million dollars, but it’s also revealed that in green box number 2, there’s only Monopoly money; do you choose a different green box or stay with green box number 7?

Many people would say, there’s a 50/50 chance your first choice is the correct green box with the million dollars, but they’d likely be wrong, and here’s why: There was a 3/4 (75 %) chance of you choosing a box with Monopoly money, and there’s still 1/2 (50 %) chance of you choosing the Monopoly money, when green box number 2 is revealed. There’s only 1/4 (25 %) chance of you choosing the million dollars; therefore, you should change your green box selection because there is a greater probability you were, initially, wrong choosing green box number 7, than choosing the green box that contained the million dollars.


Maybe some of you have heard of this? It’s called ‘The Monty Hall Problem.’ Check out the video here: The Math Question that Has Stumped Thousands of ‘ManSplainers.’ Apparently, men have greater trouble understanding this reasoning than women. What do you think?


©Mandibelle16. (2018) All Rights Reserved.

#NovemberNotes Day 30/Three Line Tales: Nonfiction – Breaking the Shell #flashfiction #3LineTales #amwriting


For November Notes Day 30, the final prompt song is “Break the Shell” by India Arie. I’m combining with the #3LineTale prompt by Sonya of Only 100 Words.


Credit: Hans Vivek via Unsplash


Break the Shell” by India Arie


Hard decisions are frustrating, such as spray painting a mural and wanting it to be perfect, then watching it painted over in white the next day; but we can’t let indecision and fear hold us back as shadows too make a person whole. We want to live a life without pain but that life doesn’t exist because life hurts no matter what and is meant to be felt; if we stay inside ourselves, then we’ll never accomplish our potential. I am certain that flying free means breaking out of our shells to thrive and take chances; and if we don’t decide to try we’ll remain trapped on the ground, always wondering, what if?


©Mandibelle16. (2017) All Rights Reserved.

#OctPoWriMo – Day 2 – Poem: Free Verse – “Of Terror & The Dying” #amwriting #poetry #yegstrong #vegasshooting 


Welcome to OctPoWrMo Day 2 . I’ll be going back to Day 1. But today’s prompt was writing what we must. And this is what resulted, sorry to begin with the topic isn’t light. 

It’s inspired by two events the Las Vegas Shooting and terrorist events in Alberta, Canada. 

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Credit: Ian Dooley via Unsplash
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I wish you wouldn’t kill, 

I wish you wouldn’t shoot. 

I wish you didn’t feel the need, 

To take others with you to the grave. 

I wish you knew your pain, 

Was a problem that could’ve been helped, 

If wish you had only asked. 

I wish you weren’t indoctrinated

That morals halted your, 

Urge to kill and wound hundreds. 

*****
I wish you wouldn’t kill, 

I wish you wouldn’t shoot, 

I wish that you’d stopped yourself. 

Thought of the consequences, 

I wish you’d had empathy. 

Realized everyone feels pain as you did, 

That all people have things in their life, 

That wound and maim them, 

Throughout life’s winding road; 

We all feel internal pain, brokenness sometimes. 

But others chose better coping methods, 

Not to go about their wicked way, 

Taking global humanity to their knees. 

*****
I wish you didn’t kill, 

I wish you didn’t shoot. 

I wish you didn’t choose chaos, 

That you chose understanding —

Not violence. 

I wish you knew all the family’s hurting, 

How your pain became more than your victims, 

More than the wounded and the dead. 

I wish you knew how you maimed everyone —

On scene, through the online world. 

How guns are so destructive, 

When they’re attained so easily to murder. 

That blood flows, when gunshot wounds, 

Cause suffering. 

That men and women are lying dead, 

Having lost their lives too early. 

*****
I wish you wouldn’t kill, 

I wish you wouldn’t shoot, 

Because other people will emulate you. 

They will think your selfish choice, 

Is the right path for them too. 

I hate that you had to take, 

So many others with you. 

That you didn’t comprehend, 

The sanctity of life. 

It’s ever so valuable, beyond twisted beliefs, 

Your inner turmoil — whatever it was, 

More than the false reasons, 

You believed gave your actions merit.  

*****
I wish you wouldn’t kill, 

I wish you would shoot, 

I wish a place of celebration, 

A place of respite and vacation, 

Did not become a mass murdering location; 

But it did, all because of you. 

I hate that you can’t hear, 

The moans of the people you hurt. 

That you can’t look them in the eye, 

And see the their tears, their horror. 

I hate that you don’t see, 

Children who’ve lost parents. 

I hate that you did not realize, 

Your actions harmed and injured many. 

It makes me sick that you were okay, 

With this awful outcome, 

Of being a grim reaper. 

I hate that you probably, 

Wouldn’t have cared, 

Even if your cowardly death, 

Hadn’t worked. 

*****
I wish you wouldn’t kill,

I wish you wouldn’t shoot. 

That the pandemonium and suffering, 

Your victims felt and discovered, 

Is something you didn’t experience on earth. 

I’m so angry that men like you, 

Choose weapons too available, to harm others. 

I’m so angry you ruined so many lives, 

I’m so angry you made a place, 

That once felt safe, 

Into a terrifying war zone. 

I’m so angry that the country, 

You caused your mayhem in, 

Has far too many gun related deaths. 

And I don’t know how to stop men like you, 

How a right to bear arms, 

Oversteps someone else’s right to live,

I can’t comprehend; 

But I heard the screams, the peppering of bullets, 

And it makes me want to cry. 

So upset you were okay with, 

The consequences of a heartless choice. 

That your inner demons, 

Got the best of you, 

In such a malevolent way.  

*****
I wish you wouldn’t kill, 

I wish you wouldn’t stab. 

I watched a terrorist ram a policemen’s car, 

Saw the policeman soar into the air, 

But he hadn’t any wings, 

For he was merely human. 

I watched you stab him too many times, 

And he was only doing his job. 

While another mad man, 

Ran down others. 

Tried to hurt them too.

And I wish you wouldn’t slice, 

Let blood trickle and flow. 

I wish you wouldn’t use a truck, 

As a weapon to injure, cause pain. 

But I cannot see into your mind, 

And I don’t know that anyone, 

Could have changed all your minds.

All I know is you all didn’t listen, 

To the conscience inside your head. 

All I know is your method of damage, 

Was a choice to do evil. 

*****

I wish you wouldn’t kill, 

I wish you wouldn’t shoot, 

That you’d dealt with your own turmoil, 

In a vastly improved method. 

I know that many people think, 

All people are generally good. 

But few realize being a good is a choice;

We’re not made that way, 

We learn to be good people. 

And too many choose to twist what’s good. 

And commit acts that are selfish and evil.

To many acts of terror, 

By lone men or terrorists. 

Too many opportunities, 

With access to weapons, 

Knives and guns, 

Defend your family as you must, 

But make it harder, 

So random men can’t do their evil,

Wound hundreds with bullets, 

In blood drenched mass murder. 

I wish you wouldn’t choose to kill, 

So we don’t hear the screams, the suffering, the dying, 

So the images don’t haunt us. 

Because it’s sickening that ever day people, 

Who appear like me you and me, 

Have a monster residing within them, 

Have made the choice to murder.

*****
I wish they wouldn’t kill, 

I wish they wouldn’t shoot, 

But I can’t see what was inside their minds. 

Because they looked like everyone else, 

Not a demon, a Lord Voldemort, or a Freddy Kruger. 

All I can send is my prayers to the broken, 

Those mourning and terrified. 

All I know is that some people choose, 

To be good people, 

And I have faith in God and them. 

All I know is that in the end, 

God will give every person justice, 

Justice that is eternal and right. 

And that someday on earth, 

We must learn to forgive

Not to become monsters, 

So we don’t commit terrifying evil too. 

*****

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©Mandibelle16. (2017) All Rights Reserved 

Notable Quotes Part One #pinterest #quotes #Canada150


Happy Canada Day all you Canadians. Today our country is 150 yrs old. This may seem a small number to some if you, especially in Europe. But to us it’s pretty awesome! 🇨🇦🎈🎉🎂🥃❤️
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©Mandibelle16. (2017) All Rights Reserved.