Sunday Photo Fiction: A Gory Death Becomes #amwriting #fiction #SPF


Thanks to Susan for hosting SPF.


Credit: C.E.Ayer


Dust rose thick in the air, and the August sun scorched. The foreman and his workmen dripped sweat, and Natasha Roberts supervised her redesign.

The home’s white-washed stucco matched an aqua-tiled and white kitchen with ice-blue tones carrying into the great room. Glints of multi-colored metal, and a 1920’s inspired bar created a unique entertaining space.

The master-bedroom’s giant windows combined with simplified Art-Decl luxury. In contrast, original barn-doors with glass panes to the balcony, matched the ones downstairs that opened to an outdoor living space.

Natasha admired her creation; she was excited to make the house stylish, and to skim extra profit unbeknown to her clients.

The foreman yelled to her and she scoffed. “I’m coming.” What a hick.

She turned in red stilettos, her ruby dress swirling with its bell-sleeves. She teetered, and her heel caught on the sand-stone patio. Natasha screeched and her body lunged; her ankle and heel snapped. She crushed into white-washed walls, raven hair fanning as she fell.

The foreman witnessed Natasha’s death. He swore as her blood gushed, and crossed himself when he perceived she had no pulse.

Years later, he dreamed of Natasha’s mouth in a daily spitting-rage towards his skilled-workers. He remembered her scream as her ankle twisted at the same awkward angle as her neck. Nightmares haunted him; he believed Natasha deserved her gory end.


©Mandibelle16.(2018) All Rights Reserved.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Sunday Photo Fiction: A Gory Death Becomes #amwriting #fiction #SPF”

    1. I’m glad you like. This one took a lot of editing to get right. I’m still not sure lol. I took a course, it’s almost done, focusing on simplicity, less adverbs and adjectives, strong verbs, and vivid descriptions with a few specific details — so that’s what I try. But I will edit in the morning, I know lol. Hope you are well Mihran!

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Even though “Gory Death” is in the title, I was surprised to find she died. I had to read over that moment again. Telling use of all the red in shoes, dress, and blood. The fanning of her hair makes for a vivid image. Altogether, this is an impressive demise. I’d say something more sympathetic except apparently she deserved it or at least was asking for it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well, I was picturing this stuck up interior designers, without morals or human understanding for the most part. Does she deserve her demise anymore than others? No, but the foreman’s thoughts I think sum it up. Plus, the fact she was stealing $ from her clients. I think her red dress is almost like a Scarlett Letter A, except she doesn’t know it. The sight and experience of her death disturbs the foreman, b/c it’s gory and b/c a part of him thinks she was such a witch to him and his grew yelling at them all the time etc. That she didn’t treat them like people, and thus, deserved her ending in a way. But it bothers the foreman that he thinks this way inside; he knows thinking this is wrong. That was my point I guess. I’m glad you liked. Sometimes we forget death is the great equalizer, I guess, for anyone.

      Like

Leave a Reply to mihrank Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.