November Notes: Poem – Day 10 –  Tanka – “Air Space” #amwriting #novembernotes #music #poetry


Today’s prompt song is “Air” by Rayvon Owen. 

——

“Air” – Rayvon Owen

———

http://www.pinterest.com

——-

Holding onto air, 

Nothing even their, it’s all–

Turning into air.

Can’t make something from nothing. 

Can’t take back time, do-over. 

—–

Your silhouette, 

It’s disappearing into —

Air so thin, can’t breath. 

All we have is a shattered–

Empty past, hanging by a thread. 

—–

We were never whole, 

The definition of good. 

We were always flawed, 

We never healed, didn’t —

Accept, when we saw the end. 

——

Splinters of glass hurt, 

When embedded in my skin, 

Pieces of the past, 

They’re a pain felt rawly, 

A pain that doesn’t improve.

——

The clock ticking by, 

You grasp for my form — I’m air, 

You can keep trying. 

You know your holding thin air, 

Us, we’re gone, invisible. 

——

Let the lights burn out, 

We can’t raise what’s  cold and dead. 

The past remains gone, 

Stop holding onto air, it —

Isn’t real; we’ve both dissolved.

——

Life’s not fair, I’m sure —

Later we’ll know we did right. 

Now we gasp for air, 

Let conversation cease, fade. 

Nothing to say, it’s been said. 

——

——

©Mandibelle16. (2016)All Rights Reserved. 


10 thoughts on “November Notes: Poem – Day 10 –  Tanka – “Air Space” #amwriting #novembernotes #music #poetry

  1. michnavs November 11, 2016 / 11:17 pm

    This is such a fun poetry form..i should try this…thanka for sharing..

    Beautiful verses you have in there too

    Liked by 1 person

    • mandibelle16 November 11, 2016 / 11:19 pm

      Thank you. It’s an extension of a haiku basically so when you do your syllables it’s 5,7,5,7,7. No rhyme needed.

      Liked by 1 person

      • michnavs November 12, 2016 / 3:55 am

        Ooohh now i am not confused hehehe thanks for that info.

        Liked by 1 person

      • mandibelle16 November 13, 2016 / 4:03 am

        Lol. Let me know if you need help with it. It’s just a matter of counting on your fingers actually 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Copper Cranes November 13, 2016 / 2:17 am

    Amanda, I really like your use of the multiple tankas. All of the tankas are wonderful, each can stand alone and together you’ve created a marvelous poem of loss and realization. The metaphor of air is ideal, and visually perfect. I love the following lines,

    “All we have is a shattered–
    Empty past, hanging by a thread.”

    Sad but true. Wishing you well, I hope that you’re enjoying your weekend. Take care. ~ Mia 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • mandibelle16 November 13, 2016 / 4:02 am

      Thanks Mia. It was based off the music video. Frankly, I didn’t know the song but it’s part of a month long prompt series on songs. I’m happy you liked the tankas. I enjoy the form and find I often need more than one to explain what I have to write. Thanks again. Enjoy your Sunday

      Amanda

      Liked by 1 person

      • Copper Cranes November 13, 2016 / 9:06 pm

        You’re very welcome Amanda. You’re very inspiring, as you are able to keep up with so many of the prompts, always well dome. I so agree with you, I really enjoy the writer that uses a series of tankas, or haikus to create a finished piece, a great challenge too. Thank you, I hope that you’re enjoying your Sunday as well. ~ Mia

        Liked by 1 person

  3. rosemawrites November 15, 2016 / 4:07 am

    you captured the meaning of the song so well with your verses, Mandi. Beautifully heartbreaking!

    P.S.
    In this line: “Holding onto air,
    Nothing even their”

    You might mean there and not their. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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