Fiction, My Thoughts, Octelle - aa/bb/cc/aa - 88/77/77/88 syllables, Photography/Visual Art, Poetry, Religion/Morality, Septolet - 14 words - 2 stanza's of 7 words each., Short Stories And Serial Stories, Writing

Photo Challenge: Poem – Octelle – “Tears On Land” #amwriting #poetry 


Thanks to MindLoveMisery’s Menagerie for hosting this week’s photo challenge.

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Source: illdispose.devantart.com

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She’s a porpoise in water swim,

Life for her, no playful passing whim.

In gossamer gown, butterfly —

Letting out her breath, with sad sigh.

Out of cocoon perhaps she’ll break?

If breathing didn’t count for her sake.

An angel dipping her wings in the dim.

A lonely child, she floats, won’t swim.

——

Don’t give up your life in a breath,

Child with wings now so brightly set.

You’re no worm to be ashamed,

No worthless being created, blamed.

Diamond glimmers in God’s eye,

He sees in you no flaw, child abide.

You’re precious treasure life or death,

He handles all — porpoise deep breath.

——-

Dive in ocean, swim quick mammal,

Don’t be still — inhale air, expand —

Your lungs to breathe, realize —

Reasons, break cacoon and fly.

Leave world behind, most treasured,

You’re worth much more for measure.

Costly jewel cherished in God’s hand,

Angel breathe; let grief form tears on land.

——–

Octelle:

The Octelle, created by Emily Romano, is a poem consisting of eight lines using personification and symbolism in a telling manner. The syllable count structure for this verse is 8, 8, 7, 7, 7, 7, 8, 8, and the rhyme scheme is aa/bb/cc/aa. The first two lines and the last two lines are identical.

Please see Shadow Poetry for more information.

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©Mandibelle16. (2016) All Rights Reserved.

11 thoughts on “Photo Challenge: Poem – Octelle – “Tears On Land” #amwriting #poetry ”

  1. Don’t give up your life in a breath,
    Child with wings now so brightly set.
    You’re no worm to be ashamed,
    No worthless being created, blamed.

    I’m especially drawn to this passage. It comes across both affirming and challenging. The giving of advice we need to hear. Don’t give up because we have been made worthily and even magically. Amanda, thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Christopher. I’m so pleased you liked this poem. I love the new Poetry form and the picture gave me much to think about. I thought perhaps she was trying to drown herself, so my speaker is trying to tell her she is beautiful and not unworthy, that she is important to God even if to no one else. Thanks for reading!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for introducing me to this form of poetry, for starters! I think you provided a great example and you have me intrigued!
    I also really liked the poem. For me, it has some Yeats vibe, it reminds me of and alludes to me to the good voice that desperately tries to talk to us when we are in pain, sorrow and trouble, but we struggle to hear it due to other malevolent thoughts and voices and ideas that plague us.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Happy you like the form. There is so many and I try to do a knew one every so often. I go to the website http://www.shadowpoetry.com under types of poetry. You interpretation is excellent. You’re right the speaker is a type of good voice or maybe her conscience, and tell her to fight to live. That she is precious and valuable, and shouldn’t drown herself instead swim or fly, whatever you want to say.

      Thank you for stopping by 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Mandi, “Tears On Land” is beautiful. I like your use of water and the idea of the porpoise as the, “she”. All living creatures have worth, they are precious. I hope I’m interpreting this poem correctly, sometimes thing happen that are beyond our control, there is no blame to be found and there should be no shame either. I’m drawn to the following lines, “Don’t give up your life in a breath” and “Don’t be still — inhale air, expand”. For me this captures the idea of not giving up, and offers the encouragement to not be still, to keep going. Mandi, wonderfully written using the Octelle structure. Wishing you a wonderful and creative day. ~ Mia 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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