Sunday Photo Fiction: A Sad Tale of Envy 

Thanks to Alistair Forbes for hosting SPF.


A Mixed Bag


They say there is nothing like the greeness of Ireland. Whoever said that, never saw Ashlen glare at her sister Cleona as she walked down the aisle with the man Ashlen loved.

Year after year, Cahban noticed a beautiful wavy red-haired girl attend every single rugby game he played; always alone. 

He had begun to wave to her a couple of years ago. She frequently waved back, beaming at him from her seat near field level.

 Cahban’s team mate and best mate from childhood, Eamon, told Cahban: “Go talk to the lass. She’s beautiful and only has eyes for you.”

So Cahban approached Ashlen before she left her seat after his next game.

“I’m not sure why you always sit here alone.” He said to Ashlen. “You’re beautiful and I’m only a sweaty rugby player. But maybe, you would like to go for a pint with me after I shower?” 

Ashlen was delighted. She had waited years for Cahban to finally talk to her. 

The couple dated two-years and were considering marriage when Cleona, Ashlen’s twin, finished university at Oxford and came home.

Although Ashlen and Cleona were twins, Cleona had a quality of mystery about her, men found fascinating. 

 Ashlen saw no physical difference between her and Cleona except Cleona’s straight hair. 

She didn’t understand why she hadn’t been gifted a quality similar to the allure Cleona possessed.

Ashlen knew the moment Cahban met Cleona, she had lost him. His blue eyes met Cleona’s and sparkled brighter. 

Envy and jealousy burned within Ashlen. She hated her twin, Cahban, and mostly herself; she felt she was inadequate having failed to win her true love. 

Ashlen had no choice but to be her sister’s maid of honour a year later, as Cleona became Cahban’s bride.


They found Ashlen floating in the sea near her home, the following morning. She had jumped from a cliff so high, her body had broken before drowning.

Cleona despite happily married to Cahban, was never the same. She cried for her twin, Ashlen; the only person who made her complete.


©Mandibelle16. (2016) All Rights Reserved.


49 thoughts on “Sunday Photo Fiction: A Sad Tale of Envy ”

    1. I think she could’ve. She could have dealt with her pain. Maybe, gone away herself for a while. But some people aren’t so strong. When you are young especially, something like that can seem the end of the world. For her she sadly and depeseratly made the wrong choice. I didn’t leave the line in but Ashlen hated her sister, Cahban, and especially herself, thinking there was something wrong with her. Thanks for commenting 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  1. Dramatic tale. Like the Irish setting. Just one small crit. You have:

    “I’m not sure why you always sit here alone.” He said to Ashlen.

    You would normally write that like this:

    “I’m not sure why you always sit here alone,” he/Cahban said, to Ashlen.

    i.e. “He said to Ashlen” is not a sentence in its own right.

    Thanks for submitting.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It was extremely unfair of Cahban to dump Ashlen for Cleona and for Cleona to do the same to her sister. She should feel bad, as should Cahban, but like you said, Ashlen made the wrong choice. Life is full of challenges and it’s a pity the bond between the twins wasn’t strong enough….. Nicely written! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I have so much mixed feelings here. How I wish Ashlen had fought for a new life for herself and gone away, but then her sister and fiancee betrayed her trust badly. The love she had for her sister should be strong enough to keep her from sidelining her twins boyfriend. Sad and beautifully written.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Jacqueline. You are right Cleona, the sister did play a role. But I get the feeling Ashlen kind of just gave up after she saw how much her boyfriend likes her. Neither did she think there would be better things ahead in life. I hoped she did, but Cahban was who she lived for and when she lost him, she lost herself. Thank you for commenting.


  4. I’m watching a movie on Lifetime that I thought I might find interesting. Your story is so much better. The setting, the characters, the crises. So creatively drawn and so compelling, Mandi.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Mandi,
    A story with much realism in it. Life is not always about happy endings. I love when characters portray life as it is.
    Please enjoy a very productive and beautiful week ahead!
    ❤ Dajena

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you D. Enjoy your Sunday too. I hope you enjoy your time with your kids and hubby 🙂

      Yes this is a tragic story. I think Ashlen is quite young, I picture her as maybe twenty or twenty-one barely. She has devoted all this time to trying to get this guy Cahban, not seeing there are other things to do such as sister who went to university.

      When Cleona and Cahban end up marrying, it’s like Ashlen’s purpose is gone. She doesn’t realize there is life beyond pain and hatred. I think going away for a while, to school or wherever would have helped a lot. She didn’t think it through and now she made a rash decision she can’t take back. Thanks again for your thoughts and reading my rambling ones D much appreciated my friend. 🌺🌻

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It is great practice to keep your characters as developed as you do Mandi. They always seem to be a reflection of your ideals which makes the reading even more beautiful in my opinion.
        My Sunday was lovely.
        Have a wonderful week ahead dear friend! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh geez! This hits the heart- hard. I really feel bad for Ashlen, for being ditched and for giving up so easily her life. That must have hurt but I wished she could have had a wiser choice. *sigh*
    Cleona, on the other hand, although not entirely to blame is also at fault. I can’t imagine dating, or worse, marrying my sister’s boyfriend! God forbid. XD
    Well told, Mandi. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Maria. Yeah I think Cleona bares some responsibility. It is a bit odd, her and her sister would have such similar taste. But I do think she belonged with Cahban. Ashlen and Cleona are quite young and I think Ashlen felt it was the end of her world. I think she would have found out life does go on and there was a reason her and Cahban weren’t meant to be, but she behaved rashly and was so miserable she killed herself. Sad, but some people can’t handle as much. Thanks for commenting.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. True. It really just depends on how you handle things in the end. A year ago, a guy jumped to his death across our building coz her girlfriend broke up with him. It’s saddening such suicides have to happen. My pleasure, Mandi.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Kl I’m happy you liked it. Yeah, u fortunately Ashlen didn’t think to give things some time.
      Btw, thank you for your Maydays prompts. I enjoyed them thoroughly and you chose excellent writing prompts 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Wicked little tale darling. Such a good storyline. I like the drama and stress. But when do we find out Cleona got the crimped before thrown u conscious into the sea? Ashlen could have pulled it off. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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