Flash Fiction for the Purposeful Practitioner:  Outsmarted #amwriting #flashfiction

Thank you to Roger Shipp for hosting FFftPP.




I’v never been to Florida. I didn’t think hiking around the condo we rented out would be anything exciting. But I was wrong.

Hiking down the gravel trail with my friend, we ran into some giant alligators lumbering about a waterhole. 

“Oh my god,” Patricia said shrieking. “Huge alligators. What do we do? Can we walk around them?” 

As if he was listening, one of the alligators crawled over onto the gravel path. Patricia was in hysterics and I wasn’t sure if we should both turn around or try to walk around the alligator on his left side, away from their watering hole on his right.

I picked up a long thick piece of wood, poking the alligator and trying to force him to move right, back to where a couple of his friends sat half in the water.

“Come on guy, that’s it grab the stick.” I muttered. 

With his jaws wide and ferocious, the alligator bit the piece of wood and pulled. When he had moved over enough as he pulled on the stick, and the alligator wasn’t in our path anymore, I instinctively let go of the piece of wood.

When I turned around Patricia was no where in sight. I thought she had gone back to the condo.

Then I saw the alligators rolling and twisting, fighting over prey in the water. I felt sick and afraid.

“No it can’t be,” I cried.

I had been outsmarted. While the alligator on the path was distracting me, the others had gone after Patricia. All that was left was a scrap of her pink yoga pants.


©Mandibelle16. (2016) All Rights Reserved.

26 thoughts on “Flash Fiction for the Purposeful Practitioner:  Outsmarted #amwriting #flashfiction

  1. Kay Morris June 3, 2016 / 12:33 am

    Great take on the prompt! Such an unfortunate ending for her companion.

    Liked by 1 person

    • mandibelle16 June 3, 2016 / 4:43 am

      Yeah pretty much. The picture was hard to write a story for. Pretty much any movie scene that has alligators, well someone gets eaten – Indiana Jones 3, Romancing The Stone etc.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. The Voice June 3, 2016 / 3:00 pm

    Having lived in Florida for 20 years and having been chased by alligators, I can relate to this story. I’m not sure they are quite that clever in reality, but giving them pack hunting mentality makes this story even more frightening. The pink yoga pants was a nice touch too…lol. Well done, Amanda.

    Liked by 1 person

    • mandibelle16 June 4, 2016 / 2:09 am

      Thank you Chris. That is pretty scary alligators will chase you! I hope there not as smart as in my story. Have a great weekend!


    • mandibelle16 June 3, 2016 / 8:46 pm

      Thank you PJ. I saw the gators and thought of Indiana Jones in The Temple of Doom or the movies Romancing The Stone, so someone ended getting eaten. Very awful!


  3. Karthik June 3, 2016 / 5:34 pm

    He risked his life, but she gave up hers.

    Still a better love story.

    Liked by 1 person

    • mandibelle16 June 3, 2016 / 8:39 pm

      Actually it was two female friends. The main character was trying to get the alligator to move off the pathway. Unfortunately, while the main characters back was turned (while the alligator on the path distracted her) her friend Patricia got eaten by the other gators near the water. Tragic story. Happy you enjoyed.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Karthik June 4, 2016 / 2:07 am

        Oh well, guess I interpreted the characters quite differently 🙂 Good story though

        Liked by 1 person

  4. luckyjc007 June 5, 2016 / 2:48 pm

    Wow! That’s a real horror story. That day will always be imprinted in her mind. So unfortunate and terribly sad for Patricia. Great story. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • mandibelle16 June 5, 2016 / 6:04 pm

      Yes, it’s terrible. Thanks for reading and commenting Jessie


    • mandibelle16 June 7, 2016 / 4:06 pm

      Hi Joan. Thank you it is a horribly sad situation. Luckily, in real life, I don’t believe alligators are smart enough to lure their prey using distraction techniques. Thanks for reading.


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