So difficult to accomplish,
No safety net, for a small wish,
Do or die; have to think about,
Worst case scenarios on my route,
Opportunity knocks, dare I open the door?
No where else to turn, if I end up on the floor.
Not the same for you, you’ve a net,
When you draw, you still have safe bets,
A job to turn to, and husband,
On me if I break; in abandon.
How can you understand my unique situation,
Can’t depend on health, keeping me situated.
I’m feeling great doubt, I’m unsure.
I’ve only begun, can’t leap assured.
I have to see the ‘ins’ and ‘outs,’
Before I can tell you what I’m about.
Darkness lingers in my mind, pressure I cannot define.
You don’t know what it’s like in my shoes, undecided.
A gigantic opportunity,
To pass up, is it lunacy?
Calculated risks are fine,
Tell me where to draw finite line.
If I can’t do this career, and I’m not that into sales.
You see differently, maybe I can help people sail.
Find a better life, find their health,
To begin, I have little wealth.
I haven’t been planing to divert,
My path in this local –invert,
Thoughts moving, teetering in changed direction.
Choices not made easily, self-reflection.
Don’t believe I have enough wage,
Writing, my dream of life changing.
Can’t make living off of dreaming,
But changing wheels, believing.
New thoughts, career movements could alter future path.
No security if I go off, what happens in depressions wrath?
Bubbling thoughts in my mind,
Jets in whirlpool, the sucking kind,
How do I be cheerful often,
How to make my shell, crack, soften,
I’m scared I can’t do it; keep seeing my fail safe.
So difficult choosing, God guide your small waif.
©Mandibelle16. (2016) All Rights Reserved.