Flash Fiction for The Aspiring Writer: A Place to Sleep


“This is frustrating, Marcus.” Trisha complained.”Every morning at 6:00 am, the workmen start hammering and climbing up the scaffolding. Lulu and I just fall asleep, after her needing to eat all night, then the workmen arrive and make noise. I haven’t slept more than two-hours in a row for three-months.”

Marcus frowned, he wanted to help Trisha and Lulu. He could see how tired and run down Trisha was. Marcus went for a drive so he could think. He found himself driving through a neighbourhood with unique older houses.

To Marcus’s surprise, one of the houses had a ‘For Sale,’ sign. When Marcus walked into the house, he knew the house was perfect for his family. The house was updated five-years ago and the price was feasible. Trisha needed to see this house.

That evening Trisha stood in the great room of the house Marcus had found them. She turned around and sighed, “It’s quiet.” 

“So, we can buy the house?” Marcus asked.

Trisha laughed sleepily, “Yes.”

——

Scafolding
Ellesepeth
—–

Thanks to Priceless Joy for hosting this Flash Fiction challenge. Want to join? Check-out the link above.

—–

ยฉMandibelle16. All Rights Reserved.

59 thoughts on “Flash Fiction for The Aspiring Writer: A Place to Sleep

  1. rosemawrites February 23, 2016 / 1:05 am

    Ooooohh!!! A new house! ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€

    YAY! Marcus has a lot of budget I guess! ๐Ÿ˜€

    Nice one, Mandi!

    Liked by 1 person

    • mandibelle16 February 23, 2016 / 1:36 am

      I think, he knows that even though it will be hard making mortgage payments at first, it will be worth it for his wife/baby to sleep and as his family grows. Of course, they’re selling the condo. Thanks for reading.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mandibelle16 February 23, 2016 / 2:26 am

        Yeah, I was writing it and originally, he was driving on the highway and he gets an idea to help his wife and a semi truck kills him. I decided to go happy though and instead he drives into a neighbourhood and finds the perfect house. Thanks again for your comments.

        Liked by 3 people

      • rosemawrites February 23, 2016 / 2:47 am

        Uh oh! It’s like every story can have a tragic ending, right, Mandi? ๐Ÿ˜€

        Liked by 1 person

      • rosemawrites February 23, 2016 / 3:03 am

        Haha. I am usually torn with happy and tragic endings. And I usually go for the tragic/sad ones. HAHA

        Liked by 1 person

      • mandibelle16 February 23, 2016 / 3:06 am

        Yeah I know, me too.But maybe it is only human to expect bad things to happen more then good things.

        Liked by 2 people

    • mandibelle16 February 23, 2016 / 2:27 am

      Hi JR, glad you liked this one. We all need a happy story once and awhile, eh? Thanks for commenting.

      Like

  2. samratkel February 23, 2016 / 2:33 am

    Great story. I hope his wife likes the house, its a tough one not to seek shared decision making on. Men always have to “fix” things lol

    Liked by 1 person

    • mandibelle16 February 23, 2016 / 2:51 am

      Yeah, I know. I debated putting in a part where he at least showed his wife pictures, it just ended better without that lol. At least she’ll be able to sleep! Thanks for commenting!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Priceless Joy February 23, 2016 / 2:56 am

    Oh wow! That turned out well. What a great husband! His wife can’t sleep because of the noise so he buys her a new house. Fantastic! Great story, Mandi!

    Liked by 2 people

    • mandibelle16 February 23, 2016 / 2:57 am

      Thank you PJ. He’s a good husband and I think things were going his way that day ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

      • Priceless Joy February 23, 2016 / 3:01 am

        It sure sounds like it and definitely his wife’s way! ๐Ÿ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  4. luckyjc007 February 23, 2016 / 3:31 am

    Wow! A really wonderful surprise for her! I use hope she likes it! ๐Ÿ˜Š

    Like

    • mandibelle16 February 23, 2016 / 4:39 am

      Haha. Yeah I thought about that. I don’t think he’s loaded, they are just trading up from a Condo to a house. Can’t explain everything lol. Thanks Jacqueline.

      Like

  5. Fun Simplicity February 23, 2016 / 5:31 am

    I must make my husband read this…(*hinting to him to buy me a new house! LOL! ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€ ) Although I know his answer will always be… “no money!” LOL! ๐Ÿ˜€ Wonderful story, Mandi. I prefer this version to your original one (I read your comment above ๐Ÿ™‚ ). We need something sweet and happy to carry on the mid week! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Alixa February 23, 2016 / 7:19 am

    Best hubby ever! Wish I could move too, my neighbours started renovating yesterday u.u Great story Amanda ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  7. a darkened house February 23, 2016 / 7:45 am

    “Wonderful story, ” she said. “Glad it had a happy not hit by a semi ending,” she added. “I suspect the wife is so tired right now, she would move into any place her husband suggested was quiet. Maybe this has been his plan all along, ” she pondered.

    Liked by 2 people

    • mandibelle16 February 23, 2016 / 11:53 pm

      Yeah, he’s banking on her being tired. Not his plan all along, only, the writer didn’t think about how it wasn’t so smart to let a man pick a house on his own. Thanks for commenting ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  8. Dave February 23, 2016 / 11:18 am

    Impulse purchases…a house??! Sure you want to be married to this guy?

    Liked by 2 people

    • mandibelle16 February 23, 2016 / 11:51 pm

      Haha. He had a good heart and was trying to help his wife. I’m going to revise as yes, she might be very angry once she has gotten some sleep. Thanks for your comments!

      Like

  9. Ameena k.g February 23, 2016 / 2:38 pm

    Awww, I love the story Mandi. He found a wonderful solution ๐Ÿ˜„

    Liked by 1 person

    • mandibelle16 February 23, 2016 / 11:48 pm

      I think he did too. But the problem I’m running into his he didn’t show his wife photos or the house itself first. So, I might have to fix that ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      • Ameena k.g February 24, 2016 / 7:56 pm

        Oh yeah, it would be an awkward situation if she turns out to not like the house or the new environment

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Joy Pixley February 23, 2016 / 5:32 pm

    I guess I must be getting old, because I used to think of myself as spontaneous, but buying a house at the spur of the moment without checking with your wife first? Too spontaneous for me! Still, she’s so sleep-deprived, she’ll go along with anything at this point, I’m sure. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

    • mandibelle16 February 23, 2016 / 11:45 pm

      Haha. You are correct on second thought I’m like he should have showed her. I might look at revising the end. She won’t care at first but then she is going to be like ‘why did you pick a house with …..” Etc. Thanks for your comments.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Joy Pixley February 24, 2016 / 4:18 pm

        You painted her as being so tired and stressed out, she might not fully grasp what he’s done until after she gets a good night’s sleep. Then be like, “Wait a minute, WHAAAAT?” ๐Ÿ˜‰

        Liked by 1 person

      • mandibelle16 February 24, 2016 / 9:27 pm

        Yeah, I haven’t a kid myself but many of my friends have little babies. My one friend in particular has had trouble with her little guy who is about 5 months old now and of actually getting decent sleep with him a couple months ago. She has had many problems so I thought of her. Hopefully the wife likes the house. I changed the end, deciding she does need to see the house before he buys it, even if she is incompletely lethargic. Thanks for your comments.

        Liked by 1 person

    • mandibelle16 February 23, 2016 / 11:43 pm

      Thank you. Although, on second thought I’m thinking he should have got her input or atleast texted some pictures lol.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Jenn February 24, 2016 / 12:33 am

        Well, it’s the thought that counts, lol…

        Liked by 1 person

  11. any1mark66 February 23, 2016 / 11:23 pm

    I get the romance, but he gets killed when there’s no second bathroom, the laundry room is downstairs, and why is the living room shaped like an “L” leading to the garage. Great thought, but him surviving it purely fiction.

    Liked by 1 person

    • mandibelle16 February 23, 2016 / 11:31 pm

      Haha. Thankfully, that will come later when she isn’t a zombie being sucked dry by an infant and she is able to sleep. I thought later, yeah if I was in a relationship and someone bought a house without me I’d be upset, once I slept anyways. Not to mention, I thought of my Dad when we moved when I was 17, pretty much my parents are in the house they’re in because Dad didn’t want to look after that and it the house we picked was descent lol. Good call on that! You and a few others ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      • any1mark66 February 24, 2016 / 2:07 am

        I have been through house hunting too many times. Great thought.

        Liked by 1 person

  12. Inside the Mind of Isadora February 23, 2016 / 11:38 pm

    A touching gift to give his weary wife. A loving story. Interesting take on the photo prompt.
    I enjoyed reading it.
    Isadora ๐Ÿ˜Ž

    Liked by 1 person

    • mandibelle16 February 24, 2016 / 2:20 am

      Haha. Some stories have to be happy and sappy ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  13. luckyjc007 February 25, 2016 / 4:21 am

    A wonderful and caring story! She has a very understanding husband and I guess she can be grateful for all the noise she had to listen to because it led to her family getting a new house! A great example of how something negative lead to something wonderful. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • mandibelle16 February 25, 2016 / 5:37 am

      Yes forsure, thanks for reading and commenting.

      Like

    • mandibelle16 February 25, 2016 / 5:37 am

      Thank you very much Jessie. It’s a couple years old ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  14. Sonya February 25, 2016 / 1:03 pm

    Oh, that will be such a relief to her… Lovely take on the prompt ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  15. rogershipp March 1, 2016 / 6:58 am

    What a great take on the prompt! Loved how ‘progress’ was not seen as ‘progress’ by all. I would have loved the great house…. and the sleep!

    Liked by 1 person

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