My Thoughts, Novel - First Draft -"How Was Last Night For You.", Relationship, Writing

4. How Was Last Night For You – A Sea Witch’s Curse


To read Chapter 3 please go here.

Chapter 4: A Sea Witches Curse

John played with the thin silver chain around his neck nervously. He appeared to be preparing himself to say what he needed to Nina:

” When I was twenty-five ” said John, ” I was stupid, reckless, and I didn’t care for anyone but myself and what I wanted. What I wanted was girls and to pursue my dream of owning a publishing company with my two brothers. I had a trust fund from my Grandpa, he was well off. I didn’t worry about where I would find the money. But for entertainment and fun I slept with too… too many girl to count.” John sputtered.

“I slept with strippers, I slept with hookers. I slept with girls I liked and I slept with girls I didn’t like. It didn’t matter I only wanted sex. It felt good, still does. I didn’t want the responsibility of girlfriend, I had enough on my plate.” John’s looked ashamed.

“I was working a lot and celebrating life when I wasn’t. I couldn’t tell you the number of women a wealthy man like me has been with. I haven’t completely improved but I’m better, since my experiences with Tia. She was my first serious girlfriend. My brothers and I, we used to party so hard. I would drink until I passed out — happens now and then still. But I don’t spend all my free time getting laid.” John looked imploringly at Nina still fidgeting with his neck chain.

“I’m careful with the woman I date now. I can’t ever date any woman too long or she starts to notice all the bad situations occurring around us are more then a coincidence. Sometimes, I have dated a woman and she gets hurt. O-one or two, women I saw ended up in hospital for broken bones. But Nina you’re different. I care about you. . . I can protect you. I think.”

Nina almost choked on her green tea. She had expected that John was a womanizer, had been trying not to care. But she felt perturbed John had told her that he slept with so many women. Some of these woman thought he cared about them. But he never cared. Thinking back to the night they slept together, Nina was glad they were safe. She looked at John his face was ashen and he was fiddling with his neck chain again. John’s eyes still appeared to have dark circles around them. He perceived all the terrible thoughts Nina might think of him.

John lifted his hand haltingly as if to touch Nina then placed it gently on her knee. ” I’m sorry” he whispered ” I wasn’t a good guy. I’m still not. But I’m getting better. But you need to know this part of me good or bad. Please . . . ” Nina nodded and John continued his tale of woe .

“O-one day I met this girl, Tia. She was beautiful, an angel. Absolutely lovely. I was into her right away. She looked something like you with beautiful blond hair. But her hair was wavy and her eyes green. She had your gorgeous figure and had the best laugh in the whole world. . . We had so much fun being together. She was barely twenty-years-old when I met her. We were together for two years. I -I wanted to marry her but the whole business of Mergers got in the way of Tia and I.” John paused. He appeared sad to Nina and regretful.

” I loved Tia. But she was needy, always wanted to be with me, and do everything with me. My brothers and I had meetings and were acquiring companies. Magazines, newspapers, smaller publishing companies for Mergers. Tia didn’t understand why I couldn’t spend more time with her. I had to work it was important to me. I wasn’t going to only rely on my Trust Fund. I couldn’t let my brother’s down or myself.”

“One day Tia walks into Jordan’s penthouse. I told her to come and chill with us. Jasper’s wife Jennifer was still alive then and was making snacks in Jordan’s kitchen. Tia overheard Jordan say to me, ‘ so are you actually serious about this Tia chick. I mean she’s hot but she’s so young, do you really think she can represent you at business functions? She never came across to me as the right type for the public eye. She’s more of a free-spirit, not a wife.’

“Tia was a party girl. Her and I were well suited that way. But I knew she could be serious too. She could play the part of a businessmen’s wife. I had no doubt. She would have made a fun and impish little wife. But Jasper agreed with Jordan. ‘She has a lot of growing up to do. She’s only twenty -one or two right? We can’t party as much as we used to we have to be professionals and be more discreet who we’re seen with. Tia’s beautiful but didn’t you say you were only with her because she was good in bed and hot?’

“It was what I had told my brothers stupidly even though it wasn’t the truth. And I didn’t know Tia heard all this until she tells me to come and meet her on my boat that evening. I didn’t think she’d even come over to Jordan’s penthouse.”

“Tia and I went downstairs to the cabin of my boat that night and made love all night. I felt guilty about what I let my brothers believe. Tia was an angel. And I felt something was up with her. I didn’t know what but even though she was fierce and passionate with me in bed, when I tried to talk to her she was distant with me.”

” In the morning I awoke and Tia was standing at the end of the bed looking at me with sorrow in her eyes. I asked her if she was okay and she became furious. ‘l loved you, you know.’ she screamed. I told her I love her too. But Tia looked heartbroken and I knew somehow she was their when my brothers and I were talking. The room began to glow brightly:

” ‘ I heard everything Jasper said you told them about me. You were using me for sex.’ Tia shrieks. The cabin bedroom is so bright now I can barely see anything but Tia’s eyes glowing fluorescent green and her beautiful blond hair flowing out behind her. Her voice sounded malicious.

“Tia said: ‘ I curse you. I curse you until the day you find true love and sacrifice yourself for the woman you love. It won’t be easy for a woman to love you. I curse you to have horrible events occur all around you. Events which will hurt woman you try to be with. If you care for a woman again you can protect her, but only then. Caring for a woman will not break the curse only you sacrificing yourself for true love will undo the horrible events you will have to live through each day. I wan’t you to feel how I feel know, ashamed and guilty.”

” ‘How can you curse me?’ I asked her. She told me she was a powerful sea witch.”

” ‘I’ll be watching you closely, John’ she shrieked ‘ I hope you fail and never love again. I hope you die heartbroken like me.'”

” Tia ran up the stairs out of the cabin bedroom and above deck. I chased her but she dived into the sea and swam away. You know, I swear I could see her in the distance swimming away a bright green tail flipping in the water as she swam farther and farther away.” John admitted this last part about Tia with trepidation. He kept glancing at Nina waiting for her to laugh at him. But Nina saw how seriously he believed what he said.

” Tia is a sea, is a sea witch,” John stuttered. “My own family barely believe me but they experience all the unusual events happening around me often.  Jasper and Jordan blame themselves for their part. They know the events that occur around me are a result of Tia.”

” I went looking for her. Perhaps, that is why I love sailing so much. But I have never seen or heard from Tia again. It’s as if she never existed. Her friends don’t know what happened to her and they say she didn’t have any family they knew of. I never meant her family. Tia wouldn’t talk about them. She said she’ll be watching me. Tia said she hopes I never fall in love and only suffer. She’s out there still . . .”

“I loved her. And all the sufferring and bad events those are my punishment for not standing up to my brothers and telling them I loved her. Now, no women can be around me long without noticing accidents happening often, or suffering through these accidents. I’m cursed Nina and that is the truth. John’s sapphire eyes looked haunted.

“But you could be different Nina. The chandelier this afternoon, a piece of flying debris was going to hurt you and I stopped it from happening. I said in my head: ‘you’re not going to hurt her’ and you were fine. It has never worked like that before. Usually, I suddenly see what’s going to occur and it happens. I can’t stop it.

” And the first night we met, the woman at the harbor was going to pull you into the water. You were going to drown because you can’t swim well. I knew it in an instant, so I intervened so you wouldn’t fall in. I can stop bad things from happening to you Nina. I think; I know it means I care for you. You and I could be different. We could break the curse. Maybe, you would try to be with me and get to know me more. Maybe, one day, you’ll love me?”

John hung is head appearing worn out from his explanation. Nina ran her fingers through his soft brown hair as one might do with a child. She looked at John with  determination. From the first time she saw John, she had felt electricity between them. Now she felt affection as well. Curse or no curse. She would not give up on John.

Perhaps, Nina could break the spell and free John. If his explanation was real — his story of Tia as a sea witch –then he was living one giant horrible Grimm’s fairy tale. However, Nina was afraid Tia might come back. What would happen then? She said she’d be watching John.  Nina thought a woman whose heart was broken would as Tia’s was, would want to start again. But maybe she was still vengeful eight-years later?

Nina had seen the horrible incidents that occurred around John and it made sense to her in an odd way, that John was cursed. And if he could protect her, because he cared enough for her, maybe one day Nina could love John? She didn’t understand how he could sacrifice for her but maybe they’d get there…

Nina put her arms around John and gently kissed his neck. Even though he was probably  a womanizer, had been an even worse womanizer, she ached for him and his lost love all because he could not admit to his own brothers that he loved Tia. All because Tia had overheard the wrong conversation.

Nina nuzzled into John’s neck. He smelt wonderful. She identified the scent as  ‘Light Blue’ for men, a fresh scent of sea breeze. John’s breathing was quickening and Nina knew he needed her when he lifted his head up and looked into her eyes with desire. She knew his arms lifting her into him were no dream. Nina’s eyelashes fell against John’s cheek. Lips exploring her face and kissing her the same place she’d kissed his neck were welcome. Nina’s skin flushed as his lips meant hers and his tongue caressed hers. She held onto John. Nina was his lifeline.

Please read Chapter 5 here.

—–

©Mandibelle16. (2016) All Rights Reserved.

8 thoughts on “4. How Was Last Night For You – A Sea Witch’s Curse”

    1. Hi Christopher. I’m glad you liked the chapter. I had a few of them done for about a year and a half but was stuck. Then I came upon a blog which taught me how to plan and organize a book. It really helped. I started writing in my notebook and the ideas just flowed. Thanks for reading.

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  1. Okey-dokey, I’ll comment on 3 and 4 in one go, as I read them when they were still a single chapter. Let’s start with John’s story first.

    The way you wrote the story works, although in places it comes across a bit over the top. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it at first, but upon rereading, I think it’s because certain parts peak too quickly (for the story to induce suspension of disbelief). For example, there’s hardly any build up leading from the moment Tia begins revealing herself to the moment of the curse. Similarly when it come to John revealing himself as a womaniser. I think PJ already mentioned that you could make him come across as more awkward while he talks.

    Having said that, this story forms a very important point in the novel, and I see this (and especially chapter 4) as either a set-up or a pay-off story (think Ch 33: The Prince’s Tale from Harry Potter VII – warning: contains spoilers – where JK Rowling turns previous six books on their heads). It would work very well as either the first chapter to get people hooked up, but (in my opinion) even better as the climax of the act one (i.e. ‘Who is John and what do I need to do to [fill in whatever the ending of the book is]?’).

    That brings me to another point, but you can just ignore this one, as it will be highly subjective. You have read the first chapters of The Dream Reality, so you know I like cliffhangers – and one thing I’m missing in this chapter (i.e. 3+4 together) is the ‘what will happen next?’ feeling. There is no obvious quest they need to follow to break the curse – all that’s needed is for him to care for someone – no snag. The chapter could easily end with ‘…and they lived happily ever after!’ I bet it’s coming right in the next chapter, but you might want to consider moving it here.

    Also, just a suggestion – this would need to be tested to see if it actually works – Nina’s ‘intermissions’ throughout his narrative took me a bit out of the story. Again, taking HP7 Ch 33 as a reference, maybe you could try to tell his story all in one go and let her react at the end, in the ‘any questions?’ time. This could also help you with introducing that snag I mentioned above.

    And lastly: Show, don’t tell! A ‘rule’ that I (and quite a few well known authors) don’t agree with. Going the ‘show’ way can make your story fly faster, make it more fluid. On the other hand, when, say, your character entered a mansion with perks she had never seen before and you want to ‘slow the story down’ because for her it was like time had stopped, then ‘telling’ is the way to go. So it’s a lot about balance of the two.

    PS: Hmm, I just reread my comment – I hope you’re not going to ban me from your website. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This is very good. I guess I didn’t explain well or I took it out accidentally. Caring for Nina allows him to protect her. But he has to fall in Love with her and sacrifice himself for their love (her) for the curse to break. The return of Tia (Talise) will make this difficult as she still loves John despite what he did and tries to break Nina and John apart. Also, the frequency of bad events around John and Nina increase and continue to occur. Thanks for your many thoughts.

      Liked by 1 person

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