Today, everything feels as if it were impossible. I try to make my body move, but I’m pulled back by lethargy.
I am trying to actively participate, to be aware. But my eyes are heavy and my body feels like heavy led. I know I should be present; but I don’t feel here.
As a thick fog comes whispering, it enfolds my mind and when I try to think, I close my eyes; trying to answer correctly but it feels as if I can’t remember and the effort it takes is too much.
I could go to bed right now and sleep away my time like yesterday. But I don’t want to spend my days in bed. I want to do things with my time. I need to accomplish something today.
But now it’s close to night and the light outside grows dim so early. The wish to sleep comes stronger. The wish to be present goes farther away.
And I’m sad when I have to cancel plans as I do because life is how it is. Somedays I am completely in the zone. Other days, I have nothing to give and life keeps taking.
I like to have plans. There are things I would have liked to do today. But I stayed home and recovered from two-hours of lunch yesterday. I don’t know why it wore me out.
But fog is coming in on paws so quietly, It’s hard to do much today. It’s hard to visit and talk without being agitated. I don’t know why I have days like today. But I know there’s better days ahead.
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