Poem: Caberet

I wish to be able, to do what I need, and what I want.

Without the heaviness of slumber invading my body, an illness that’s spreading. 

I need to wake up and feel like it’s a great day to get going in the morning.

Like the sun is just shining, and the wind chimes just jingling to fill me with purpose.

There are things in this life that it has become hard to do, but I’m only thirty and I need to be driven.

If I am too sick to just see a friend for one or two hours, my life looses meaning, connection with people. 

I need a life full of learning of being aware what’s going on in the world, not huddled in bed with sleepy eyes.

I need to be able to write, and to edit, to memorize, and choose. Or, the day loses some kind of meaning it had before.

I wish to be quick, absorbed, and lithe like a dancer, not weighted with problems that I cannot fix.

And I watch TV shows and hear all the music, and I miss the meaning that people and experiences bring to it. 

You can wish that your body is strong and not fragile, but you can’t move your bones when they are stricken with fatigue. 

You can’t weight your problems on some random guy, they’ll run away faster if you have something wrong. 

The only thing to do is just to keep your heart beating, and pray that the next day will bring a Caberet of life. 

Poem: Spaces

I find God in the spaces we leave inbetween,

In the impact of a heart beating,

In a walk to the bus, while the leaves are gently streaming

I find Him in versus of poets long ago — in Tennyson and Donne.

And even poets who never liked Him.

I find God in the people who do kind things,

Just to be kind, not because they want a favour.

And I find Him in a leather book, that “in the beginning was the Word,”

A disciple John once wrote.

And I find him in a strangers wonder, a pivotal question, that needs answering. 

And I find Him in a past that’s frought with pain, and suffering, and time lost.

I find him every Christmas in a stable, while wiseman followed a star.

I find him in a memory of a pet who helped me through rough times.

I find him in the pain of a moment, because I know He experienced suffering too.

And I find Him as a friend battles cancer, and she is the one doing the uplifting.

I find God, when I’m so frustrated I cry, because then I can see clearly. 

I find Him in a the wiseness of the elderly, a great – grandmother who said “stop worrying.”

I find God in the moments of silence, when everything is still, and I can only be still.

God is in front of you, but he’s also in those tight spaces, 

Where you’d never even think to look.

He is there, and He is just waiting, because time is nothing to Him.

He waits and He acts in every place.