I wish to be able, to do what I need, and what I want.
Without the heaviness of slumber invading my body, an illness that’s spreading.
I need to wake up and feel like it’s a great day to get going in the morning.
Like the sun is just shining, and the wind chimes just jingling to fill me with purpose.
There are things in this life that it has become hard to do, but I’m only thirty and I need to be driven.
If I am too sick to just see a friend for one or two hours, my life looses meaning, connection with people.
I need a life full of learning of being aware what’s going on in the world, not huddled in bed with sleepy eyes.
I need to be able to write, and to edit, to memorize, and choose. Or, the day loses some kind of meaning it had before.
I wish to be quick, absorbed, and lithe like a dancer, not weighted with problems that I cannot fix.
And I watch TV shows and hear all the music, and I miss the meaning that people and experiences bring to it.
You can wish that your body is strong and not fragile, but you can’t move your bones when they are stricken with fatigue.
You can’t weight your problems on some random guy, they’ll run away faster if you have something wrong.
The only thing to do is just to keep your heart beating, and pray that the next day will bring a Caberet of life.