Literary Lion: The Orchid


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He gave it to her the day they first met. A beautiful and lush purple orchid laying in sugar-water. Eve didn’t know who he was then only that she was going to be forced to marry him when she became of age. She was only thirteen and he must have been twenty when they first met. How could he even think Eve was attractive? Eve thought it a bit dirty, but her parents didn’t say much just that the age difference wouldn’t be so much when she was old enough to be wed.

” Why do I have to marry him?” she asked her mother.

“Because” Eve’s mother Blair said ” he has a lot of money, something we don’t. We maybe aristocracy, Eve, but our fortunes run dry. He is a self-made American who owns much land and business. He will take care of us all, but especially you. He asked to be betrothed to you himself, after all the other girls he could have had that are his age. Don’t you think he’s handsome?” Blair asked her daughter.

” Well yes, I think he is handsome. and well-built, but he’s just so old Mom.”

——-

Seven years later at age twenty-one the wedding took place. Eve looked at herself in the mirror wearing a beautiful lace wedding gown with an extremely long elegant train. She also had the flower her fiancé had given her when she was only twelve, it still lived and looked everyday the same, healthy and full of vitality. Eve had grown into a beautiful women with long wavy blond hair and greenish-blue eyes. She was lovely and curvy and she saw the way her fiancé Jonathan looked at her. They had become friends and strangely enough that had led to a deeper connection between them. Something Jonathan had said he knew there would be even when she was a preteen.

So, they married and had a family and many years together. All those years the orchid continued to bloom in its little round bowl. It wasn’t until Jonathan and Eve were well aged and having great-grand children that the orchid began to fade. Slowly, and strangely so did Eve and Jonathan’s health, until one day, they didn’t get up in the morning.

Eve’s maid found the elderly couple asleep in their bed holding hands. She looked at the bowl that held the orchid her former lady had loved or what was left of it. The orchid that had always bloomed now crumbled until all that remained was the dust of the flower floating in the water.

Word Count: 430 words

Thanks to I Smith Words for hosting and giving the prompt flower.

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16 thoughts on “Literary Lion: The Orchid”

  1. Interesting. Arranged marriages often seems seedy on the surface to a causal Western observer, but it is an unfair observation without sufficient education of the observer and context.

    You’ve subverted the idea in that the recipient of the arrangement is a Westerner. Intriguing and different. I like.

    I have a comment that is hopefully helpful to you for the future (something I have received myself):

    The piece you’ve written is very passive. I’ve read some of your others and I’ve thought the same. What I’d like to read in your writing is CONFLICT, as this provides drama and interest. I think you would be good at this, and it would lift your work with what is quite a small change of mind set to how you approach your short stories.

    Just my view, or course. Looking forward to your next submissions. Good luck

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Of course

        It’s a case of your main character, or protagonist, being put in a position of discomfort that causes a reaction. A force against which they struggle, and therefore generates interest in the reader and desire to know how it plays out.

        For example:

        Frodo inherits a ring and then needs to destroy that ring to save Middle Earth. Stuff happens, but we have the continual conflict of Frodo and the ring.

        Frodo inherits a ring and then has a cup of tea is less interesting.

        Ok, The Lord Of The Rings is a trilogy, but conflict is no less important in making a story interesting over 400 words.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. You have the beginning of conflict – an arranged marriage. But then everything seems to go so well. Ok, they die at the end (very poetically), but then, don’t we all. Good stuff though, there’s exciting things ahead I’m certain 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I like that you weaved the flower within the whole story, it was a good way of keeping the prompt relevant. I definitely agree with Andy’s helpful feedback, there was definitely potential for an interesting dramatic struggle here, it is of course nice to have a happy tale, but it’s good to mix things up now and again don’t you think?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, I did find Andy’s advice extremely helpful. Thinking on some of the books I’m reading I think that’s what makes the story the conflict. It’s nice to have stories that work out but I’d like to put a little more interest in my stories. Thanks for reading.

      Liked by 1 person

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