Something New

Prompt: When was the last time you did something completely new and out of your element? How was it? Will you do it again?

I must admit I’m a pretty boring person now and because of my chronic fatigue need to be in control or trust the person in control of an event at all times. I live a pretty repetitive life and sometimes when I do something extraordinaire it’s not something unusual for others but it is a big step for me.

One thing I can think of is learning not to be so shy because I have to advocate for myself or no one else will. I make a point of looking people in the eye when they pass by and smiling if it’s safe. I use to have this bad habit of ignoring people I felt uncomfortable around but now I realize I was being rude and ignorant. So if a homeless man approached me and talks a little bit downtown I talk to them, sometimes all they need is for someone to talk to them. Pretty much anyone who wants to talk to me I make a point of saying something unless they are a creeper. I think we’re all human and just want to be acknowledged. If someone is talking about me behind my back I smile at them and ask them how there day is going. And if someone wants to know why I have to leave a place early or I don’t feel well I briefly explain about the depression and chronic fatigue. Very few people have given me a funny look or treated me badly because of it. Most people are sympathetic and I have had few experiences where people have thought I was weird. I think mostly, because I appear perfectly normal and act normal. Not all people who have mental illness have these gifts. 

So, not being shy and responding to people normally and explaining my illness like it’s nothing is a big step for me. So is talking to guys my age and making new friends and trying to keep working on some old friendships.