Sometimes I find that I find I am in a precarious position in life. That I do something or want to do something that is having a bad effect on me. I call these problems ‘weights’ we put on ourselves. Or another good term might be creating your own burdens to carry.
It took me weeks struggling with this problem, tempted one way and tempted another. Then finally, tempted, teased, and treated like I wasn’t even a person I realized that this thing I wanted was very bad for me. Isn’t that the way it goes we always want what what we shouldn’t. Or we ignore the little signs along the pathway telling us this is not the way to get what we want. That there are other and better methods and right now isn’t the right time or person. But this morning I finally made the right choice and it felt like a weight literally had been lifted off my shoulders. Sure, it was exciting being kind of bad but what I wanted would have hurt me and other people in my life. What I wanted could’ve scarred me for the remainder of my life or left me with a regrettable experience.
Other people don’t always know better. And they aren’t always who they appear to be. But I still can’t help feeling sorry for this person and praying for something better for them because they are walking around in darkness and they don’t even know it. They would tell me about all the bad people in the world but I didn’t know they were talking about themselves. In some ways I think they were talking more about how they view themselves because I caught glimpses of a helpful and non judgemental person beneath the meanness. And I’m pretty sure a slip of the tongue ( there tongue) made me see how mean this person could be, a slip that was a weakness they didn’t want exposed. So you separate yourself from impossible people even though they aren’t all bad.
You refocus your efforts on other people and other things that are a better fit for you and a better way to spend your time. Still I liked the good things about this person a lot, it’s too bad they weren’t a little nicer and looking for friends. It’s hard to meet people and make new friends these days.
Tonight I’m going on my pre Valentine’s dinner with A. We thought Valentine’s Day would be quite busy so we are going ahead of time. Hope your sweet hearts spoil you wherever and whomever they maybe.