Of the future, man knows least; yet, about this, he worries most.
– Ivan Panin
I’ve reached another turning point in my life, which, makes me wonder what will the future bring. I have only to wait patiently to find out yet still this does not stop me from wondering. I wonder a lot of things and I suppose I feel because of the nature of my health problems that my future is more ‘ up for grabs’ than many people I know, largely because I feel I have less control over the things I get to do in my life. But then another side of me thinks this isn’t true. That we equally all of us have our futures as unpredictable because no one knows if he or she will be here the next day, or the day after that. All our futures are lost to unpredictability.
But I would like to think that even those of us with the shortest time left have something to look forward to. Maybe, it’s just a few laughs or maybe it’s the glory of heaven. We all need something no matter how small to greet us the next moment or day. Call me crazy but I’m looking forward to being single again. To be able to check out that hot guy at the table next to mine and not feel the tiniest sense of guilt. I’m looking forward to meeting new friends (both male and female) and I’m just so happy to be able to get up again everyday healthy not to lie in bed but to to be able to read and write. And even though I can only handle about 5 minutes of intervals and 2 abdominal exercises I’m excited to get my body in whatever better shape I can get it into too.
But something I love about the future is possibility. I have always felt so fresh, alive, and that life is full of such magic when there is the possibility to choose and have an an array of unknown choices in front of me. Or maybe, it’s not always that we get to choose it’s that life takes on various directions along with our choices . I haven’t felt as if I have had many choices in a long while. I think I’ve been living a stagnant life. Changing my relationship status has brought me along way that opportunity of possibility. It’s more freedom with my time, more freedom for old and new friends, more freedom to focus on bettering myself, and more freedom to focus on bettering the world around me.
Yes, as Panin wrote we may no know least about the future but it’s the most exciting.