Poetry: Somethings Never Go Away


What makes me bleed a drop, every time I think of you,
Are all the moments I lost, the times with and without you I can’t undo.
What causes my fragile heart to scar, a little more, is not just that you never made much effort to talk to me and at least pretend you cared; it’s that I didn’t know how to deal with you, so I ignored you until the sight of you made my stomach sore.
Somethings never go away.

What plays over and over in my mind, that I didn’t want to be one of those girls who liked you too and called me Bitch behind my back; but I became one of those girls anyways and all I had to do was be a bitch myself.
What brings tears to my eyes, is the fact that I didn’t know you well, but I’ll never forget you despite the fact.
You are in my mind that ideal guy that I will never have because I was good enough but you still didn’t try.
Somethings Never Go Away

I built you up, and I knocked myself down, but you never stood up for me, you never cared about me how I cared about you; you liked the way I liked you but never tried to bring me inside your group of friends; despite the fact I was so shy, you didn’t know how to deal with shy people — you were so outgoing.
And it kills me now that I’m drudging up the past for the one thousandth time.
I just realized I’ll never have closure, until I meet someone who compares; because that’s the problem the swell of emotion I felt for you rivalled the tide as it goes up hundreds of feet high, rivals the waves in mid-ocean where one could be entirely alone and drown in anononimity.
Somethings Never Go Away

What I feel for him, it doesn’t compare — it’s a quiet kind of love and so much more reassuring. So much gentler and still I feel stunned.
Wondering why I don’t feel such emotion, wondering why I’m just safe and secure but wanting conversation; all I ever wanted was to know you and your conversation.
And your so imperfect it’s blinding.
But I don’t forget and I don’t want you, but I’ll never have you so I’m unhappy it doesn’t make sense.
Is the grass greener on the other side? Not Unless you’ve learned compassion or care for me at all.
But all signs point to otherwise, I’m a girl with broken butterfly wings just waiting to be crushed.
By a past she can’t forget because of the powerful attraction you stirred in her, the color that emerged in blinding sapphire blue.
Somethings Never Go Away.

And yet I wouldn’t trade a moment with him for you and I’m not even sure about him.
I’m a flitty floating cloud about to be stormed by the realization I can’t forgive myself for how I acted years ago. That there’s no okay ending makes me always wonder and will until the day I die.
Maybe when you marry I’ll finally get the picture.
But maybe I’m a tiny bird who wears all her love on her wing.
And wonders, what was your place really in my life?
Somethings Never Go Away

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