In this Little Life


I think that in these little lives we lead it is vital to immerse ourselves in culture, in society, and in varied points of view. It is difficult to leave our judgements of events and people behind but it is absolutely necessary for us as culture to do this to encourage ourselves and others to think and not just consider the first thing we hear to be the truth. Sometimes the truth is something easy to uncover and other times it is necessary to sift our understanding on a subject; then, we can truly see what is truthful and what is false. In short, it is so important that we use our minds to think and not to judge.

Another thing I have begun to believe is that it is not our business to care about the bad things people say about us in passing or in our face. Leave other people to their negativity and live your life the best you can. Each of us knows whose opinions in our lives are extremely important and when their opinions are important. But to all the randoms out their who judge people on how they look, on their weight or lack there of, on who they used to be, on who they are, or just who they think a person are or use to be, it doesn’t matter. Sometimes people are just making comments and talking and other times they are simply being inappropriate.

These I think are the most important things I have learned lately. Nobody knows your life like you do and no one can make you act a certain way, that’s up to you.

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In other news, I am slowly starting to feel better from June and July. I think I would be fine but malaise is a major issue. I had a great time shopping at WEM on Saturday but once we hit about 2 pm it was overdoing it for me and I spent the rest of Saturday and all of Sunday sleeping and trying to recover. We went for lunch at Spaghetti Factory too they have this delicious mushroom stuffed Ravioli if that’s your type of food dish.

I’m hoping my ability to last improves or at least my ability to recover doesn’t take 2 days. But it is still good to be out, once the back to school crowd came, It was time for us to leave but it wasn’t to bad until about 2 pm. at WEM. I’m hoping to be able to go to Kingsway or Downtown at the end of this week or Friday to pick up some things at and just get out again for a bit besides short walks.

Additionally, I have a blog(s) on some great makeup I’ve been using called Tarte. I love it very much and it’s mineral so that’s pretty awesome. And maybe a fall fashion piece after seeing a bunch at the mall(s) and online.

Take care.

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Automatic – Hey Whatever Happened to. . .


” . . . It all just seems so good the way we had it back before everything became Automatic…” – Miranda Lambert

HealthSometimes life speeds up and sometimes life slow downs. I feel as if this summer has sped on by and I haven’t had the chance to enjoy it. I have spent a great deal of time sleeping and in bed and the situation has not become better until this last week when thinking back to when my health began to slide down hill I remembered we lowered one of my medications. Once I began to increase that medication I have become much healthier. I look better and feel better and even though I’m not  good enough to go to a class at night or study for a few hours everyday I feel hopeful for once that I can go back to that point. In short, I feel better now, I feel like I can do activities again and I don’t need to sleep for more than an hour or so in the day.

But I was thinking about this song  Automatic by Miranda Lambert, it’s one of my favorite songs lately, and I thought that she makes a sewing machine oldstrong point. Where would we be without all our technology? Was life better when we could just take time to do an activity instead of having technology making it easy to do in seconds?

If you were to ask my Mom who is a quilter I’m sure she would say that the new sewing machines are better and easier to use then the old sewing machines that her Grandma used or even the sewing machines they had in 70’s when she was sewing her own clothes. And I have to say I most definitively like a Smart Phone over the flip phones or original bulky cell phones that some of my friend’s parents had in the 90’s.and early 2000’s. I think it’s so easy that I can go on the internet, that google maps can show me where to go to get somewhere from where ever I am, that all my music is on my phone, that I can have my own phone and # and have that privacy and that I can take notes on my tablet;  I can bring my phone or tablet where ever I go.

iphone_5s_6_grassI understand Miranda Lambert’s view because many times I see people walking and not looking where there going, talking or looking on their Smart Phone. And it seems  like even though we have computers and all this technology we are having worse effects on the environment. For instance, a paperless office was once surmised to exist one day and we are only using more paper then ever.

Additionally, I think that sometimes the ability to order anything you like on the internet and have it sent  to your house in 2 days is not necessarily a great thing. It’s a way I got into debt myself in the past and I think sometimes it’s too easy to buy something because we don’t think about whether we need or would actually wear or use the items we buy. Also, sometimes we spend as much money as we save returning items we bought on the internet.

And doesn’t it seem that this new technology seems to break down more than old technology  – photocopiers, computers, phones, appliances, and even cars. We have things that are “automatic” but what is the good if these items are not quality. My parents first fridge lasted them 30 years, now the appliance companies are aiming to make stoves that are no longer working in 10 years. Isn’t this wasteful?

But I think there is another meaning to the song Automatic. I think “automatic” is a way we live our lives, an attitude. Like are bored womantechnology that has gone automatic we are acting in away that is automatic. We don’t think about what we say to other people. We are too caught up in our technology and the other parts of our life.

We don’t even bother to talk to each other in the same household sometimes we just send a text. We act the way that the media tells us — books, movies, video games — we are sometimes lacking originality and thoughtfulness. For example, maybe we think that champagne and roses is the right way to propose to our partner but we don’t consider what our partner would in their own mind find romantic, maybe we don’t get to know them well enough or talk about the situation enough first.

We give gift cards which may be nice, instead of being thoughtful about a gift, It is as if these things have become ingrained in us and become automatic. We hold stereotypes that the media personifies, maybe about people with certain illnesses like AID’s or mental illnesses and people of certain nationalities. I think the song Automatic talks about a way of thinking and acting towards one another just as much as it talks about our technology.

hospitalOne good example I see lately of things having gone automatic is healthcare in Canada. Should it become automatic for us to wait 14 to whatever hours in an emergency room when we really need to go to the hospital? Some people need help now and you are just making their illness worse by making them wait. Some people for instance aren’t able to wait that long in a waiting room, they are too sick and too frail.

There has to be a way that we spend more money on healthcare, so that there are more hospital beds for people and more doctors and nurses to take care of them. Should it be automatic that a person that it so depressed they are going to kill themselves has to wait to get into the psyche ward? Or a person who needs a kidney replaced has to wait forever until they are near death to get a kidney replacement?

These are just thoughts; this is something I have seen on the News lately. And it disgusts me. And I really think it has become automatic to act certain ways in the healthcare system just as we act automatic towards one another and with our technology. This is something I see in the overworked hospital staff, in emergency workers, in a government we elected that doesn’t seem to care enough. What do you think?

As for my health, I’m glad that I never had to go to the hospital because who knows if I would have made it  in? I’m glad I can deal with my illness from my home. and I hope that you can live your lives better than in an automatic mode.

Liquid Eyeliner Pens: Lancome, Stila, and Tarte


www.lancome.ca
http://www.lancome.ca

1. Lancome Artliner 24H – $37.00 (lancome.ca) – Today I want to share with you some of my experiences using different liquid eyeliners. The one that I have used for years is not quite a pen but has a great pointy foam brush on the tip of the applicator and you dip that in the liquid eyeliner and apply it to your eyeline. It is called Lancome Artliner 24H and comes in a variety of colors such as black, blue, green, gold, silver (etc). For the longest time, there weren’t other liquid eyeliners that were as easy to apply as this liquid eyeliner. Lancome pretty much led the way in liquid eyeliners that do not come from a pot.. Once you got the hang of applying the Lancome liner it was quick and easy to use and lasted about 4 months. I loved it because if you messed up it was easy enough to remove this eyeliner with a Q-tip but once you were done applying it the liner stayed on perfectly. The one bad thing about it was that you had to dip the little foam tip into the liner a few times and sometimes if you weren’t careful applying your eyeliner you could end up with too thick eyeliner at certain parts of your eye, or to thin if the liner on the foam applicator was wearing thin. But the colors in the Artliner 24H are the best especially the Bleu Royale.

The best way to apply liquid eyeliner is to start about half way on your eyelid where your pupil is and start applying a thin line of the color of liner you want near your lashline. Once you reach the edge of your eye you can flick out and get sort of little curl at the end your eyelid that looks very nice or you can stop and make just a little flick up and little flick underneath to make a cat eye triangle. Then fill in the little triangle like shape you have created with your liner. Then you can go back and finish the line at the front half of your eyelid and if you wish make the line thicker near your cat eye triangle you can do that as well..

www.tarte.com
http://www.tarte.com

2. Tarte Liquid Eyeliner ($20.00) – (tarte.com) – I was trying to be a little more budget friendly and decided to try Tarte liquid Eyeliner. What is great about the tarte liner is that it comes in a felt marker type pen with a pointy tip. You simply apply it carefully to your eye in the way I mentioned above and as long as you keep your lines fluid and don’t jerk up or off a bit the eyeliner will go on smoothly. It is easier to make cat eyes with than the lancome liner and the price is great. Plus, I love that tarte makeup is all natural and comes without harsh chemicals that can sometimes be found in other makeup. It is permanent and it sticks really well so if you mess up you pretty much have to start again and use eye makeup remover to remove the part of the liner you messed up on. It lasts well throughout the day but compared to the Stila liquid eyeliner pen it wasn’t quite as durable. One aspect to note about the felt liquid liners is that if you use your liner every day like I do the tips can bend and warp a bit, So far it has lasted 2 months and I hope it will last just as long as the lancome liquid eyeliner. Although Tarte says it helps to “soothe” and “moisturize” skin the only color they have available is black and sometimes a nice brown or navy or silver is just what the doctor ordered.

www.stilacostmetics.com
http://www.stilacostmetics.com

3. Stila All Day Liquid Waterproof Eyeliner ($26.00) – (sephora.ca) – My favorite liner is the Stila liquid eyeliner not only because it comes in 15 colors but also because of it’s great price and felt marker tip. Stila liquid eyeliner stays on your eyelid well and if you are quick you can wipe away mistakes with a Q-tip. If you are not quick you’ll have to use makeup remover. It stays on your eyes particularly well throughout the day even at night when your cat eye’s or flicks at the end of your eye started wearing off with Tarte. It lasted me 4 months and continued to give me great vibrant color until it had nothing left. It also will line in the waterline of your eye fairly well if you want to line underneath your eyes but I do recommend a good waterproof pencil for your waterlines it gives the best result (I find).

There is one more liquid eyeliner I would like to try, Benefits Push Up They’re Real Liquid Liner for around $30.00. If anyone has tried this and likes it better than the liquid eyeliners I have written on let me know.

 

How Much Are We In Control?


I’m attempting to understand in unforeseeable circumstances, in a life full of problems, and of problems that continue to become worse, how much control do we really have? As much as I hear it I don’t think the ” You can do it just try harder” answer often works. Or more to the point, it may work for the little control in life we do have but it doesn’t work for that large gray area in life we can try as hard as we want, but still fail.

As much as I want to be in control in my life right now, even sometimes just going outside for a walk, I’m not. I think it’s called lack of motivation. For along time even when I was first ill I always believed I was moving forward and that there was a healthier me ahead. I believed it was possible to maintain a level of healthiness that I could accept and be okay with. Even if I had tiny setbacks they were just that “tiny” and were things I could live with because I had the ability to do certain activities I wanted to do, that I needed to do to keep focused, goal oriented, and I felt happy that I was able to achieve something as small as those something’s were.

With my recent setback to my health I’m having a great deal of trouble coping. Partly, because it happened so fast and medicine does not know how to help me. I am also just coping with boredom and feeling useless because I’m having so much trouble concentrating and need to spend so much time sleeping. The mental effects make me angrier then the physical effects because I have always viewed myself as an intellectual person and not until high school really a physical person. But I’m not in control of this setback and I can’t help feeling depressed. Being able to do things once again even a little bit and having that ability taken away from you is hard to accept.

I’m just not feeling that I have much of any control over my life right now. I have time, but what’s time if you are too tired or exhausted to do anything? What are nice clothes if you have no place to wear them to everyday? What are friends if you don’t have the ability to bus or drive yourself to see them, and the attention span to listen well and enjoy their company? What is life without a purpose? What are talents if you can’t use most of them?

I don’t mean to complain. Many people are experiencing far worse situations and many people you can’t even see are suffering. But I guess we live within our own tiny worlds at times searching for a control that was never really there, realizing we were only ignorant to the suffering going on all around us.

Nexxus Color Assure Shampoo and Conditioner


NexxusGenerally, I’m not a big fan of drugstore shampoo and conditioners unless they are from a salon brand because I don’t find that long term they work as effectively on your hair as salon shampoos and conditioners. I don’t mean to be a snob about this it is just my personal experience. I have long blond hair that I often highlight and/or lowlight a lighter or different colored blond (my own color is golden blond) a few times a year so I like a shampoo that will protect the color I’ve paid so much to put into my hair. I also have trouble, especially in Winter, of having hair that can get dried out so any shampoo and conditioner I use has to be moisturizing. I love Bedhead shampoo and conditioner either the Dumb blond line or the Damage Control line and they have been my go-to shampoo and conditioner for years. 

Last time I was at Shopper’s Drug Mart I decided to try Nexxus Color Assure Shampoo and Conditioner. I had heard excellent things about the products but was a little concerned that at $15,99 for the conditioner and $11.99 for the shampoo, that they would not last as long as my 750 ml of Bedhead shampoo and conditioner which lasts about 3 months for a similar price. I was pleasantly surprised that both the shampoo and conditioner lasted 2 months despite being in smaller containers then the Bedhead duos.

It was also great shampoo and conditioner that left my hair feeling soft and silky after every use and I wash my hair almost everyday if I can. The shampoo left my hair feeling cleaned with no residue and the conditioner was extremely moisturizing. Also, my color, a lighter blond this summer, has been maintained well. So even though they are a drugstore brand I completely recommend Nexxus Color Assure Shampoo and Conditioner. I could not say the same for the accompanying hair products in the line that I was only able to try samples of those; however, the shampoo and conditioner are top of the line. 

Poetry: Silence, my Old friend


Sometimes I just need silence, it’s not an easy concept to explain — partly I’m an introvert — and partly it’s the fact that noise is wearing, can tare through your head in a pounding severe as hard rain on pavement; sharp and painful to your skin.
Sometimes I just need quiet because I do my best thinking in my head when you muse your questions out loud, it’s just the way I’m built and your brain was formed a different way… And when I was a little girl somebody told me that it was better to listen, to actually hear and comprehend the various foods on the speakers spread.
And sometimes I just like listening, to her the cadences of sound, to hear the up and hear the down, and understand what your telling me well before I make my peace — I’d like to give you the best advice because I’m weighing consequences and scenarios.
Other times, I like to say something smart — a witty thought– a word sharper than not; I used to be better at these retorts but these days I’m caught up in thought and weighing the conversation in my head on scales — these things I’ll remember and these things I’ll probably forget.
Sometimes I’m just use to silence — a long hot summer with many entrancing books, a family on vacation, a family at work, a dog who breathed her last before the dog days of summer began.
Silence is a funny thing, at times it can be utterly defeating and deafening, and I wish so hard for some conversation, to be around people and bask in a parade of voices delighted, bemused, upset, and hurried.
And sometimes silence is like a tear in a waterless desert. You never knew you had in you, what with being parched — obstructed by a harsh cacophony — you never knew you needed to cry — to be in a noiseless atmosphere — until that day, until water arrived; or until silence greeted you and flowed down your throat refreshing everything within you and bringing back life inside you.
If that analogy works, then you might understand silence.
That silence is completely necessary and quiet completely calming.
You might challenge the thought if you live for the rush of booming sound but some of you know silence and greet her like an old friend when she hushes you goodnight.
And when you find that the silence between you and your friend is a delicious moment you both understand, then you’ve truly understood silence, are restored by it’s gentle breath.
The quiet of the moment, the calm before the storm.