That Day Came: My Dog is Old


NikkiThe first moment I saw my puppy in the pet store (because you were still allowed to sell dogs in the pet store when I was 17-years-old) is forever etched in my mind. My families old dog Spunky a Chihuahua Terrier had passed away a few years earlier but I had never known her as puppy, that I can remember. Spunky was cute but she was my Mom’s dog. Nikki, the puppy I saw in the pet store for the first time became my dog and my Dad’s. She snuggled with me and came to me for attention and went to my Dad for rough housing and runs.

The first time I saw Nikki in the pet store with my brother’s I knew she was ours. At the cash register I picked her up and held her fluffy soft miniature body with floppy ears against my neck and as I petted her and hushed her wimpers with ” Shhhh… it will be alright” your going home now” she began to relax in my arms. She was tiny and fury with a bare pink tummy and floppy ears. She was also the runt of the litter and was a scrappy puppy fending off her 2 furrier brothers. When we took her home I placed her in her small crate in the side of our van and later realized how scared she must have been in there. Then when we arrived home I took her out of her crate and place her against my neck and carried her inside. The whole family gathered around her on the living room floor to coo and remark how cute she was.

When it seemed she was having trouble wondering who she should go to she climbed into my crossed legs and ever since has been my girl. She chewed through Nyla bones like you wouldn’t believe and my favorite hoody had strings on it that she also used to teethe. She would claw her way up the front of the coach and sit on me when I lay on the couch in our old house and she would snuggle in and chew the hoody strings.

The first time she saw herself in the mirror was a big surprise and she wondered who that other dog was in the room but she was smart and that wonder didn’t last long. And the first time I took her to sleep on my bed she would nip at my toes that were under the covers until she discovered what those 2 points beneath my covers were. I would wake up many mornings with little Nikki on my chest or on my legs stretched out and as she got bigger it became impossible for her to share my twin bed and she slept on my parents bed or would try to fit her entirely too big body into her crate, her rump end hanging out. When we moved to a new house, she somehow burrowed her way under my parents bed and when she got to fat for that she slept beside my Dad on the floor.

I have a great deal of memories with Nikki — walking her in the park when I first became ill for 30 minutes a few times a week, Nikki running her heart out with my Dad, Nikki climbing into my lap or sitting up and straight like a little human in my arms, Nikki knowing when I was crying and coming over to comfort me, playing “greedy dog” with her squeeky toys, and Nikki keeping 2 balls to herself at once as we would at our on peril, try to steal one or both balls back.

Nikki also loved to beg and I remember sneaking her treats every night at supper without even knowing it, I think the family did that. She wanted a treat every time she came in from the outside and had a  thing for sneaking out the back yard down the alley until someone would have to go and get her back. I remember her getting lost and always coming right back home. She always knew where she lived. I remember her making dogs 3 times her size ( she is a medium breed) tremble in fear and her utter hate of poodles and “frufee” dogs.

We had to lock her up when company came. She is a pack dog and loves her family, but not anyone else, especially not with curly hair. I remember when she accepted Grandma and Baba into the pack. I remember how she used to try to usurp Nathan from his place in the pack because he was the youngest child. And I remember the day she became old and sickly.

It was just this year. She started to stay downstairs and wouldn’t come up off the coach. Her paws all began to swell up and she wouldn’t eat. Rheumatoid arthritis the vet told us and gave us steroids for her but we are finding they only sort of help her. She painfully and carefully awakes from sleep and hobbles to her water dish. We give her a steroid but still she is in pain. Her tail which always wagged, isn’t wagging anymore, it is slumped and hunched much like she is. She seems happy a lot of the time and just likes to be petted. She sleeps and hobbles, trying to follow you around but it is difficult to watch when she can barely make it up 3 shallow stairs.

How can something so alive and frisky have her day come. Her rheumatoid arthritis hit like that and she went from being a middle-aged dog to an old dog of 12-years. The years passed by slowly it seemed as if we were on a giant Ferris wheel that one day reached the old and crickety chair at the bottom of the wheel. How did she get so old I wonder? She has good breeds in her that can live to 20-years, but I don’t know if that will happen.

She is old, that day came for her and with that day the reminder that in life many things, even our own human lives, are temporary. It is difficult to see my old friend in pain, she is a puppy to me still. She gave me so much now I give to her all I can, hoping to ease her suffering. It doesn’t seem right or fair that any of us should age from such glorious days of youth to become nothing more than memories. And animals, I am told, have no soul so what becomes of them? Do they fade into nothingness? For there will never be any animal like my Nikki again. She won’t be resurrected. She will simply go back to God.

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Naturally Beautiful or the Makeup Queen


With Pics and Pixiewoo video

Mandibelle16

p_best_mineral_makeup_l When I first started wearing makeup, actual foundation and concealer, in grade 8, I was extremely excited. Then high school came about and my skin didn’t keep that perfect youthful dewy glow when it began to break out and leave behind red marks because my skin was so fair. Ever since high school, I have wished for skin like those women who have perfect skin without having to wear makeup. For the majority of women, if we don’t wear makeup people start wondering whether we are sick or having an off day.

Strangely enough, men say they prefer women who wear little or no makeup but they would especially say their girlfriends or wives are sick if they did not wear makeup. I don’t mean a ton of makeup, such as the kind guys feel should be reserved for special occasions, I’m talking about natural looking makeup — a little…

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Naturally Beautiful or the Makeup Queen


p_best_mineral_makeup_lWhen I first started wearing makeup, actual foundation and concealer, in grade 8, I was extremely excited. Then high school came about and my skin didn’t keep that perfect youthful dewy glow when it began to break out and leave behind red marks because my skin was so fair. Ever since high school, I have wished for skin like those women who have perfect skin without having to wear makeup. For the majority of women, if we don’t wear makeup people start wondering whether we are sick or having an off day.

Strangely enough, men say they prefer women who wear little or no makeup but they would especially say their girlfriends or wives are sick if they did not wear makeup. I don’t mean a ton of makeup, such as the kind guys feel should be reserved for special occasions, I’m talking about natural looking makeup — a little mascara, shadow, light foundation and/or concealer. But most men don’t realize how much makeup actually goes into looking natural for many women.

Presently, one of the biggest posts for women to do on Facebook is the no makeup selfie. I have noticed some women look

www.captureyournite.com
http://www.captureyournite.com

absolutely gorgeous in their selfie while others like myself had a bit of redness or marks that needed covering up. It is a hard thing to post a makeupless selfie if you are used to wearing makeup. Specifically, if you like wearing makeup and feel that you with makeup on is your most natural self. Good for all you ladies who posted your selfies but I kind of felt ashamed that I was scared to put my makeupless self on Facebook because I love makeup. To me it’s like painting, it’s an art. And although I tread on the side of natural looking makeup, I love the experience of getting ready for an event and wearing primer, highlighter, bronzer, and a smokey eye because I love how that looks; it looks artful and glamorous if done well. Sometimes if I’m just home by myself I’ll wear fancy makeup anyways just for the chance to do it.

My favourite tutorials for makeup are Pixiewoo on Youtube and I have learned a ton about how to blend and wear makeup from Pixiewoos so I recommend that channel. But at certain times I just like to play with my makeup at my own discretion but even I have my limits where makeup is concerned.

For instance, I have darker brows even though I’m blond blond and I don’t see a reason to use brow pencils or gels. I also do not feel I need fake lashes I have thick lashes naturally. The only time I would consider these things would be at photo shoot or a super special event such as my wedding or graduation. I also don’t wear great amounts of darker or bright lipstick or any lipstick at all. I like lip balms and glosses and only started wearing lipstick when I needed a shade of red for a 40’s Stagette. So, I have 3 lipsticks in all that I wear and only one of them is bright, it’s the red one.

makeupI guess what I’m trying to get at is that unless you are a girl whose caking on the makeup, wear makeup how you want, no matter what Facebook is encouraging or what guys think about makeup. If you like to wear a little less makeup then some women, wear less. If you like to wear a bit more makeup, wear more. There should be no shame in enhancing our facial features if we make the choice too. And if it’s fun for us to do this, all the better reason to wear or not wear makeup. Choice in anything, in any art form, is key.

There is so much makeup out there and so many opinions on what looks good and that it can be hard to receive the look you want. My best advice is to go to Sephora, the Bay, or Shoppers Drug Mart and have a beautician do a makeup look on you that want and that suites you. Also, watch videos such as Pixiewoo on YouTube but understand that there are different occasions for various makeup looks just as there are different occasions for having various pieces of clothing to wear. Most of all, just enjoy your beauty routine be it simple or complicated. And don’t be ashamed of having not so perfect skin, most of us are not that blessed as perfect beauties. We need a little help to enhance our appearance.

A Prayer Answered


Prayers the words that drip from my lips
How long must I wait for an answer
What is the substance of of my circumstances
That you, oh immortal eye, should judge to give me release
A prayer for the bystander as she stands and waits in ragged glory
A story perhaps, you can tell me how the plot rises
Tell me how the characters develop, or disappear into literary oblivian

A sigh, a confession, a platitude of mercy to an idol of love
Trying to demonstrate the right path to follow
Use me, make me, an example. I have some understanding
Charity is the epitome of love, to give and to give
And to accept charity, when we are given the gift
Grace, how shall I describe it, an undeserved mercy from above
Broken cries, no alibis, will repentance release the sinner

And I cried many nights, heal me and darkness met my eyes
A quietness bore through the night and no answer have I devised
But that grace is sufficient for me, that weakness makes us reliant on God
With such anger did I reject these words, there must be a solution
God did not make me to give up and give in…
But he held me like a little child and carried me in the sand
And I cried in his arms for wings to fly to be like every other child

Never did I feel deserted until I loved someone who did not know Him
Though I begged to have my beloved’s heart opened
Even though we made plans and I had this sinking in my chest
That God would have me choose between my happiness and my soul
I left the world and all I had in His hands and begged another way
All the while wondering what I leave behind
But with infinite care God picked me up again
And carried me down the beach, the answer a whisper
I was to wait and lean on God for understanding.
Drip, drip tears from these lips.

Friday Mints


Added Pictures!

Mandibelle16

Xyla Mints Yum! Xyla Mints Yum!

Yesterday, I showed you pictures with short descriptions on beauty and lifestyle items I had received from Luxe box. Was I impressed with all the items I got? Not necessarily. I was expecting more makeup — eye shadow or eye liner — something that I could try out a little more and actually buy again. The Fekkai shampoo and conditioner was average. But I expect more than just shampoo or conditioner samples from a subscription service, the nail Polish was ugly, the primer is good enough to use on my eyes but not my face, the cologne smells great on my boyfriend, and I’ve almost eaten all the Xyla mints they are delicious and gluten free if you’re interested  — they also are the title of this weeks blog, and the headband was a bit small. I’m hoping next season’s is better. Also, I definitely will reserve…

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Friday Mints


Xyla Mints Yum!
Xyla Mints Yum!

Yesterday, I showed you pictures with short descriptions on beauty and lifestyle items I had received from Luxe box. Was I impressed with all the items I got? Not necessarily. I was expecting more makeup — eye shadow or eye liner — something that I could try out a little more and actually buy again. The Fekkai shampoo and conditioner was average. But I expect more than just shampoo or conditioner samples from a subscription service, the nail Polish was ugly, the primer is good enough to use on my eyes but not my face, the cologne smells great on my boyfriend, and I’ve almost eaten all the Xyla mints they are delicious and gluten free if you’re interested  — they also are the title of this weeks blog, and the headband was a bit small. I’m hoping next season’s is better. Also, I definitely will reserve the good Luxe Boxes with all these cool makeup products for an extra 5 bucks next time. Had I done that this last time I would have had much better products. But live and learn.

So, I’m back on the Gabepentin and am sleeping well. I am going to ask my psychiatrist to let me add a bit more Dexedrine in the middle of the day to improve my concentration for my April Lighting class. I have gone down hill this past year in 2013 health wise in terms of ability to concentrate and do activities so something must have happened but maybe I can get it corrected. Health is difficult I’m finding that I am losing my nurse and could still very much use her to help facilitate issues related to my illness.

But I’m looking forward to Spring and going to a course with students again. I also am looking forward to finding out my marks from

www.eofdreams.com
http://www.eofdreams.com

Editing 110 now that I have finished all assignments. I can’t wait to finish another course in summer and do even more editing courses until I can have confidence that I can actually edit some clients work professionally. That’s the second reason I’m doing this Editing Program because I want to edit freelance. The first reason I am doing it is to improve my writing of course. I’m really thinking next in the way of Education for me will be the MFA at UBC in Creative Writing. So, I have to make my writing better too.

So, I’m just hanging out at my boyfriends while he is out for an hour or so. Yesterday he spoiled me again at supper with a beautiful salad and thin steak with mushroom sauce and mushrooms. It tasted wonderful. It is second to last weeks chicken dish. We slept great he was so cuddly last night I was secretly pleased because he’s not usually like that. Maybe it was cold? Everything between us is going great but I’m sure going to miss him when he is gone this summer when he goes home to Morocco.

www.couples.4ever.eu
http://www.couples.4ever.eu

Myself, I think I may end up going somewhere with airmiles but I’m not sure. My Dad said I could use some of his. And I have a bunch of airmiles saved up as well. But I’m hoping to save mine for Quebec next year maybe with my little brother? And I know there is snow on the ground but I can’t wait for summer festivals and warmth!

Tomorrow I am going out with my boyfriend and his cousin and the cousin’s friend. I am getting my haircut and colored and getting a facial this Wednesday and going to Divergent with my brother. I have to start reading Divergent before the next movie comes out. It is supposed to be fantastic. Any other suggestions of good books to read? I also have some scrapbooking that has been sitting on my desk downstairs forever. Time to work on a special Wedding Album for a friend’s wedding last summer! Plus, I have Montreal and Random pictures. But lately I haven’t taken so many pictures. It’s been disappointing after being scammed out of my DSL camera.

That’s all! Take care! I hope you find your Friday Mints — the sweet little treats in life that get you through the week!

Luxe Box Spring Edition


Recently, I signed up for a subscription service called Luxe Box. 4 times a year you get a variety of samples to try and test as well as some coupons. Here’s what I got in my Luxe box this month:

Luxe Box from the company Loose Button comes in a cute little box in this silky little bag!
Luxe Box from the company Loose Button comes in a cute little box in this silky little bag!
Fekkai Shampoo and Conditioner from Shoppers Drug Mart
Fekkai Shampoo and Conditioner from Shoppers Drug Mart
Stila: Stay all day 10-in-1 HD Beauty Balm - also came with a coupon for 10 000 Shoppers points when you purchase a Stila product.
Stila: Stay all day 10-in-1 HD Beauty Balm – also came with a coupon for 10 000 Shoppers points when you purchase a Stila product.
Kiehl's Ultra Facial Moisturizer for all skin types.
Kiehl’s Ultra Facial Moisturizer for all skin types.
Head over Heels Nail Laquer, High Gloss Finish by teez (trendy cosmetics) in Cadmium Rush (Ugly Color!)
Head over Heels Nail Laquer, High Gloss Finish by teeez (trendy cosmetics) in Cadmium Rush (Ugly Color!)
Prada: Luna Rossa Men's Cologne (Smell's Yummy and will on my boyfriend!)
Prada: Luna Rossa Men’s Cologne (Smell’s Yummy and will on my boyfriend!)
Xyla Mints Yum!
Xyla Mints Yum!
Titika Teal Green Head Band (So cute!)
Titika Teal Green Head Band (So cute!)

A Week In Time


20140109-144018.jpgI began this past week recovering from an antidepressant called Elavil, and ended the week back on my feet and busy. I woke up early on Thursday to meet with my nurse who I meet with in addition to my psychiatrist. After 5 years I feel we have become friends but she works with EPIC (Early Psychosis Intervention Clinic) and although I began my mood disorder with a psychotic episode, since then I have been fine. I did testing with EPIC and all through the past 5 years my nurse has been there to help me and ease procedures, such as major medication changes that haven’t worked, between my Psychiatrist and I. Goodbye’s are always bittersweet but I am confident I can deal with my Psychiatrist well alone.

But I am seeking someone to talk to and just to help me weather the illness I am experiencing and perhaps suggest ways that I can

samingrsoll.com
samingrsoll.com

do that. My friend who is doing her Master’s in Psychology had suggested before I go see a psychologist but I found that going to see one was quite expensive and beyond my budget. But if I can see a psychologist through the clinic I see my psychiatrist at I think that would work better and it would be free. I just think it would be extra support having learned my Occupational Therapy was ended abruptly last May and now that I no longer have a nurse to talk to, it is something to take into consideration.

But about the good part of the week, A came back after a week of working due to stress. I feel bad that he is having trouble at work but I always miss him so it was great that I could spend almost 2 days with him. I was particularly spoiled when it came to meals. I am trying to diet but dinner at Chianti’s Thursday didn’t lend to me keeping a diet so well. I did the best I could and went for chicken with a mushroom cream sauce with zucchini, carrots, and potatoes. I didn’t eat the potatoes and the chicken was just the right size (about 5 oz) but the sauce was delicious. ( I also managed to catch Scandal, one of my favorite TV shows by Shawnda Rhimes, last night too. I love that show there are always so many twists and turns. Someone important got shot last night and I wonder who, Sirius’ husband or David?)

www.trialx.com
http://www.trialx.com

Anyways, I was spoiled again today when my boyfriend made this yummy chicken dinner. It was sliced chicken on spinach with this vinaigrette (I think) of some kind and the way he spiced the chicken was so tasty. Then he stir fried up some vegetables — zucchini, onions, peppers — and I loved it. It has been my favorite meal he has cooked but he told me not to ask him to make it all the time. But I just might a time or two. I wish I could cook that good. It’s very sexy.

But I was anxious to get home and see how my Nikki dog is doing? She is almost done her 15 days of being on 2 pills of steroids and her paws and legs still have not gone back to normal size. I am worried for her. She is old but not that old and there is not a way to deal with rheumatoid arthritis beyond steroids. She is still not back to her old happy self. I think too because my Dad is away and because I was away 2 days, she gets depressed. She is not used to being alone since I have been home these past few years. She hasn’t been alone since the last year I worked.

In any case, a good week and I will be resting tomorrow, I think, and doing something the other weekend day. Take Care

 

A Recent Tale


These past few weeks have gone by quickly and quietly for me. Sometimes it is lonely being the only one at home during the day (except for the dog) but I have become accustomed to it and actually like it. I miss the social interactions one experiences day to day at a job or going to classes as opposed to doing them via internet or correspondence but I have also been a woman who through out her life loves the quiet and having the house to herself. If I want to go out and be around people I do. I go to yoga, for a walk, to the mall, for coffee, and to visit friends but truthfully, I need the quiet to do my school work in and just to be at peace. There is such sensory pollution around certain places that I can’t help but like a peaceful house.

Lately, I have become use to seeing A, my boyfriend, every couple weeks and have become spoiled in that regard. The current shift A is on is his first 3 week shift in quite awhile so it will feel like a lonely long time once we get through those 3 weeks. Truthfully, I think the first week A is away is the hardest week and then in the second two weeks of his shift up North I become involved in my usual activities and plan more activities to do with friends that I don’t notice the length of time as much. When A comes to visit a couple of days we hang out and a third day we usually go out to a club, for dinner, or to a movie. Sometimes we shop but I often find this time of year between winter and spring, there is not much selection of clothing and shoes in stores. Especially since this year it has been so cold because of that damn Polar Vortex. But maybe spring has come to Edmonton. It is supposed to be 13 degrees Celsius next Sunday.

I finally was able to bother my family doctor enough so that he would call in this drug that is supposed to give me more energy and is often used in Chronic Fatigue cases. It is actually just an antidepressant called Elavin. It has actually helped me a lot but not the way I was thinking it would help me. Elavin works so that you sleep better and therefore, have an increase in energy. I think I might feel a tiny bit more energized but at this time, just starting the medication I am mostly too to tell. In fact, it has worked so well for me sleep wise that I was able to stop taking 700g of Gabepentin and melatonin. Tonight I am going to try to lower the dose of Clonazapam that I take to stay asleep in the night. If I can cut back my sleeping medications until I am only taking 1 or 2 pills instead of 8 and some melatonin, I’ll be extremely happy. Whether or not the drug will work as something that will re- energize me, that remains to be seen.

( Okay. I wrote this blog 2 different days so the truth is this drug Elavin is actually horrible for me. Once, the Gabepentin was out of my system I couldn’t sleep at night. But in the day, however, I would sleep all day and no amount of napping was enough to keep me awake. I began to feel “out of it,” agitated, very impatient, and anxious. So today I went off the Elavin and feel so much better. I’m a little tired in the day still but nothing compared to these last few days. But I think this is it for me for medication trial and error until science advances. I don’t know why I have a mood disorder or some type depression and why there is a physical cause to it and not a psychological? I don’t know why this would cause an extreme lack of physical and mental energy? It’s nice to have answers but sometimes I think not having a diagnosis that is known means there are less diagnosis’ to limit me and what I am capable of doing.)

I have finished project #3 for my editing course and only have 1 project left that I will work on next week. I finished reading the study guide, additional readings, and a good portion of the textbook and am happy about how the course is coming along. I only hope my marks reflect that. I am looking forward to being done Editing and to do my last Residential Design course starting mid- April. Hopefully, I am able to put enough time into the workload for that class. Come summer, I also want to do a second editing course to keep busy. What that will specifically be on yet I’m not sure. ( Today I received a B on my second assignment in editing and was happy with that).

The weekend was a loss due to my health issues but I went to the mall a few hours and did a few errands on the Saturday just to get out. This week I want to finish my editing assignment ( the final one) and go for coffee on Thursday. I also hope to start up a yoga routine again at home, I have fallen away from that lately. Additionally, I am paying close attention to Nikki my dog, who is on her second round of steroids for her rheumatoid arthritis. I hope it works this round, poor dog!

So, there is a recent tale on my life. Things are as usual.

LUSH: Marilyn Hair Mask and Prince Charming Shower Gel


Good Afternoon everyone. I have promised for a while a review on LUSH’s Marilyn Hair Mask and Prince Charming Shower Gel, so here it is:

www.lush.ca
http://www.lush.ca

Marilyn Hair Mask – This hair mask provides “soft, brightness, and shine” for blond locks. It makes blond hair blonder. I have hair that goes past my shoulders and I was able to get about 4 or 5 masks out of the container. You apply the mask all over dry hair and let it sit for about 20 minutes then rinse off in the shower and follow with shampoo and conditioner. I did not mind this mask. I think it is a good way to keep that really bold shiny blondness in your hair but if you are just looking for a mask that is nutritious and moisturizing for blond hair this is not the mask. I actually found that at this time of year in the dead of winter, Marilyn made my hair dry and it took my hair a couple of days to recover from the mask. Everyone may not find that this occurs with the Marilyn mask but I decided that it is not really the mask for me. Not only did it make my hair blonder but it made my low lights fade, which was not my intention. So maybe, I think, this is a better mask for the middle of summer when your skin and hair is not dry and you are, if you’re a blond, going for that bombshell Marilyn blond.

Prince Charming Shower Gel – This shower gel is a “sweet, fruity blend of

www.lush.ca
http://www.lush.ca

pomegranate juice, marshmallow, and vanilla pod infusion.” I loved this shower gel. It is thick and foaming so you do not use up a large amount of shower gel in 1 use. And the most important aspect of it is that it smells divine, so fruity and a bit cinnamony. Thank goodness I didn’t smell the marshmallow as I hate that smell. I bought a large 500 ml bottle of this limited edition Valentine’s Day shower gel and it was so worth it. Unfortunately, if you didn’t happen to grab it in store or order online you will have to wait for next year to try it but  keep it mind or write it down because it cleans well and smells awesome and is a definite must have for next Valentine’s Day for you and your special someone!