The Story Of Our Lives: Everything is Right, Then Everything Is Wrong


It has been awhile since I have given you an update on my life. My theme today is my title ” The Story of Our Lives: Everything is Right, Then Everything Is Wrong ” which could have simply said It is impossible for any of us to maintain balance in our lives for a length of time. Life is a series of highs and lows or as John Milton in Paradise Lost might have said: in life we move between despair and overindulgence. Or in other terms, life is like being bipolar your either depressed – as low as you can go, or way high up – having too much of a good time, abusing your limits; there is no or it is difficult to maintain that happy medium in life.

I am so sure, am still so sure that I am met to be a writer in this life, that I have more training left to do as a writer. I have been so sure of few things. But now 2 not 1 obstacles lie in the way of my goal to take an online Masters in Creative Writing at UBC. The first is and has always been getting myself into a program that only accepts 25% of it’s applicants and is a one of a kind program online, especially for non fiction in North America. That did not seem like it was such a large obstacle but the largest impediment to me doing my Masters is me and how I have dealt with my money situation.

I make a limited income on disability and now I will make an even more limited one because every month for the next 5 years I have to pay off my loan to pay off my credit cards. I had to get my parent’s to co-sign on the loan because I had no collateral too. I have tried to gain control of my financial situation before but I have failed twice and this time I cannot fail. It will be hard staying on a budget and being well poor for 5 years but I need to learn. Even harder, is the fact that I cannot just get a better job or another job to pay my debts. What is actually quite a small debt for others, to me is a very large debt being in my financial and health situation. It is doubtful that anytime soon, I will earn more than I get on disability. What is worse, I cannot afford to do my Masters even with scholarships I would be getting and not doing what I know I am meant to be doing really tares me up.

I have not quite acquainted myself with the truth of the situation, that I will only be able to take courses in writing, art, or whatever at the U of A’s Faculty of Extension because $100 a month is all I can afford to save, to save to do something in the week – take one course. I am tossing around the idea of taking writing and editing courses. I could take more creative writing courses but there is no certificate available in that area as I wish there was. Another option for me is to take a fine arts certificate, I have always wanted to do that. I could draw or paint, most likely draw I think because I have 2 courses towards that area, but I really just want to write. This will give me 5 years to develop my writing more I tell myself, you don’t need a masters to be a good writer, but the contacts I would have made and the things I would have learned would have been invaluable! So one day hopefully, I will take that Masters but not soon. It is a moment of despair for me but like any Phoenix, I must rise from my ashes. Cliche but true.

So I am a bit lost right now. I am playing the waiting game, what direction God do you want me to move in? To what will be my next purpose? I don’t know I just know I have to keep a tight budget. I have to do something with my time and that something must have a goal or a purpose. I have to find other ways to keep busy besides shopping online, and lose weight other ways besides expensive weight loss centers. Life is shadowed for me right now. But I know in time my path will be revealed ‘Thy Word Is A Lamp Unto My Feet, and A Light Onto My Path?’ I have spoken about this before, walking through darkness only being able to see a footstep in front of you. Following even though you do not know where life is going. It’s such a hard thing to do and it is necessary to find balance even though I cannot maintain that balance long; balance in life is key.

20130616-140510.jpg

Advertisements

Published by

mandibelle16

I'm a Canadian girl who loves the local sports scene. The NHL and CFL And recently, some NFL games. Also, I’m into hatha yoga, walks in the river valley; drawing and painting, makeup, hairstyles, and the beauty niche. Also, I enjoy learning about improving my writer the other topics in seminars, classes, TED Talks, and podcasts. I’m a casual Freelance writer and worker. Both on various subjects of academia in the humanities, social sciences, business, arts, and architecture. I’ve also freelanced blog in beauty, health, skincare, and related topics. I’m an excellent researcher in most any subject. I’m also a freelancer of a different kind for a company called Givergy. Moreover, I love dogs and love hanging out with my friends and family whenever I'm able. I enjoy spring, summer, and early fall when the weathers warm and there are many festivals and activities occurring. I'm also a writing fanatic. Check-out some of my published poetry on www.spillwords.com. I’ve been published on other literary sites, as well. Recently, I had a short story published in a Cinderella Anthology, Cinderella Reimagined. It’s available here: https://www.amazon.com/Cinderella-Reimagined-Anthology-Retellings/dp/1979701970/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1523903011&sr=8-1&keywords=cinderella+reimagined If you need to contact me or are a blogger/writer or a blogger for a cause and are interested in being Interviewed, please visit my ‘contact page’ at the top of my blog.

I’d Love to Hear From You. Feel Free to Share Your Thoughts!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.