What can I say about these last two weeks, well it has been busy but relaxing at the same time. Call it a working vacation. I had two weeks off before Interior Design courses began for spring semester and now that time is almost at an end. In the past I was a person who had to just go, go, go. I liked it that way but that kind of intensity made me very sick for a time. I have found that sometimes that when we as people give life everything, every little peace of ourselves, cracks begin to show in our exterior. An exhausted, disturbed, and drained alter-ego begins to show through.
Once in university, I found myself going to work in a great mood during exam time only to find myself breaking down in front of my boss at work telling her she was expecting too much of me and putting too much pressure on me. That was my exhausted alter-ego peeking through. For awhile I was crying and suddenly, I was fine able to handle anything and everything again. I had a very understanding boss; she is a good friend to this day. She gave me an important insight into myself that I have to stop putting so much pressure on myself and that I have to say something before I explode. You see I can be quite an introvert and that can be dangerous. Turns out not only was my boss expecting more out of me, her 5th year Bookstore veteran, and not only did I have finals, but I was dealing with my baba being very ill, trying to pick things up at home while my mom dealt with her. I was trying to be an adult but I was also really stressing myself out in the process and no amount of weekend partying was freeing me from this stress.
These days I have learnt a thing or two. After, having my own depressive episode, hearing about everyone else’s different breakdowns subsequently, and then dealing with the reality of my own life (only being able to physically concentrate for around half a day, and not physically work my body for longer than my mind can handle) I now know that whoever you are, whatever you work at, you need to take it easy; balance is essential in life. Even if you do not think so, your body, your mind, your spirituality, does.
Are so many people afraid just to take a few days or even a part of the day for their selves? It can be as simple as getting a massage or your nails done, taking off for the weekend to just hang in Banff, staying at home and reading all day, doing 15 minutes of Yoga, going for a walk or run, taking a class so you can get away from the kids, taking 5 mommy minutes to breathe, or actually taking your break at work. What I have realized is that we often have these huge expectations for ourselves. Now, it is okay to aim high in life but you have to be reasonable. You have to know your body, your mind, your soul enough to know what you can handle.
So I am left thinking of the quote: “Know thyself.” Perhaps, it is most important to tune out the noise of life and look inside yourself, find what you can achieve, what you can handle out of life. And when your in a place that you cannot handle life in, ask for help. Do not let the cracks of your depressed alter-ego show through. Acknowledge those feelings, find a solution.But do not leave yourself in a place where you mentally, physically, or spiritually cannot live in your life anymore and become compromised – stressed out or ill. You are the best help to everyone else in your life if you take care of yourself to some degree first. This is what I have learned from my own experiences and I hope they help you to think about your life and find some ‘you’ time to relax and breath.