Forgiveness, maybe…


Forgiveness? It seems like such an ugly word sometimes. Forgive you after that? On the chance that you did do it again and could do it again? There is so much behind forgiveness, so much loathing. But really that is the crux of the matter, it is ‘behind’ it; when you forgive you are putting past transgressions behind you and choosing to let things be. Still, forgiveness is a hard word in the forgetting part of it. We are supposed to forgive by forgetting, moving on yet are we not supposed to learn from our errors? Other people’s errors? I tried to separate the forgiving and forgetting but found that impossible. If you still remember, always bring it up did you really forgive?
So I do what I have said before, forgive ( just say it even) until forgiveness becomes reality, until you mean it. It is taking me awhile to mean it this time but I will get there. If our great Heavenly Father can forgive the sins of the world, from the smallest sin, to the biggest sin, then I too can mean it when I say ‘ I forgive you!’ If he could sacrifice his son Jesus for our sins than I too can forgive. But I am not God or Jesus, I am a silly bitter human and forgiveness is hard give.
To receive forgiveness is the greatest gift. It is strength, a clear mind, energy, and enlightenment. It makes you feel weightless as if the weight of the world is off your shoulders. Forgiveness is a chance to move on for the forgiven and the forgiver. Bitter people stay in the same place, in the same hating pattern; forgiveness is freedom if we only release it.
I think when it is difficult to forgive we must pray that our hearts be opened to receive it and give it. That we do not stay stuck in the past in old sins. Rather, we must move on with life finding ,perhaps, forgiveness for others can lead to forgiveness for ourselves.

It is hard not hate and to not imagine the worst when you have been hurt. It is difficult to breathe with hate weighing you down. But the fact of the matter is, we cannot help but do wrong in our lives at some point. We all need forgiveness, there is always an answer, a light in the darkness.

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