My friends might call me quiet, even a bit shy sometimes (or at least I feel shy sometimes) but when I want something to occur I am a very straightforward communicator. I say what I want and have no problems about asking for that something. I might have a nice way of asking for it, or have a roundabout way of getting to tell you what I want, but I’ll get there and as soon as I can. Moreover, I plan ahead – I have learned that I have to. Having a limited amount of energy to do things means that I have to plan in times (days) I can just rest and plan times when I really have to (or want to) get things done. As a communicator then I will ask a week often more, in advance events I would like to do with friends like coffee dates, dinners, wine tastings, etc. This is between doctor appointments, school, occupational therapist visits, and all the other stuff I need to get done in the month. I like to have a balanced calendar and it can be a bit stressful when I have too many things to do and not enough time to unwind. Things get cancelled, people you want to see do not get seen, and appointments do not go very well.
I can also do only one big thing in a day. So if I spend 4-5 hours going to school that’s my activity. If I spend 4-5 hours hanging out a night with some friends on the patio that too is my activity. But not both. So sometimes this whole planning and communication can be a little difficult to explain and work around when you are meeting new people. Many people are used to just going where ever they feel like when ever they feel it, when time permits them. They do not understand about organizing and planning something; Incidently, I do not only think planning is necessary for me, but for anybody who is trying to accomplish certain activities or goals in their life. I understand people work that they are constrained by work hours and things like there families and other responsibilities but I get really frustrated when people leave things to the last minute with me. It sucks to be waiting around all day for someone to tell you if they are or are not going to be doing something with you, or at what time (because you do not want to tire yourself out because then you could not do anything with them). It also makes me feel like I’m not important, like I am a last thought or someone they are doing something with because nothing better came up. If someone is important to you make the time to see them and tell them when approximately you want to visit them. Tell them what your thinking in regard to your plans, you owe other people that much; be accountable. Everyone else has to be accountable to the important people in their life, why shouldn’t you?
Communicaton can be really difficult and figuring out how someone communicates whether through talking, telephone, or email can be especially difficult. With some people you know if you do not bother them and bother them they will not communicate back to you. Some people you can count on to get back to you right away. Sometimes you know people will not get back to you right away, but they will get back to you eventually. I think you should be able to expect that people within reason will get back to you as a common curteousy. Now sometimes people forget, get busy, but sometimes not – and that is when I get frustrated. Communication is not clear cut as much as I would like it to be, a lot of times we as people are left to figure out how to communicate back with someone, if we want to communicate back to a person at all, or if we simply sit back and let someone else enniate communication.
As for me, I have decided that there are certain people in my life I will wait for, and certain people I will not. I try to be courteous and give people chances but after a while you are either in or you are out, or you are in that gray area I assign to people I do not think I will hear from, but some day unexpectedly I just might. But what I would really like is just to know the day of an event, what is happening? What time are we leaving? And how should I dress? In the end that’s what I care about. If you could give me that curteousy, I would much appreciate it and so would other people I know.